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Sunday column ping

C’mon Sean, stop JoJoJo’s ‘coronation’
By Howie Carr | Sunday, January 8, 2012 | http://www.bostonherald.com | Columnists
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Photo by Nancy Lane

Sean Bielat, won’t you please come home?

The Kennedys are back. It’s only been one blessed year with none of them in Congress, and now the plague is about to return. Joseph P. Kennedy III, also known as JoJoJo, is being “urged” to run.

Mother o’ Gawd, how can we miss them when they won’t go away?

JoJoJo is one of Joe Kennedy’s twin sons. For point of reference, he’s the twin who wasn’t set on fire by his father with illegal fireworks on the Fourth of July during one of those traditional Kennedy family weekends on the Cape. It was the dark-haired boy, Matt, who had to go to the ER.

Despite the local Republicans’ assertions to the contrary, this election is already shaping up as a “coronation.” Unless Bielat returns to jump into the fray, there aren’t any serious non-Kennedy candidates in what may be the most Republican-leaning district in the state.

Any real challenger on the Democrat side has to come out of Brookline or Newton. Setti Warren, the mayor of Newton, could have been a contender. Even the Kennedys would have had to think twice about taking on a minority, non-carpetbagging elected official.

But Setti took his shot for the Senate against Granny Warren, and failed spectacularly. Say goodnight, Setti.

Then there’s Michael Ross, the Boston city councilor? Please. Ross doesn’t even live in the district, not that he has to, but would this lightweight really give up his cushy $87,500 job and the parking space downtown that goes with it?

Debbie Goldberg of Brookline, the unsuccessful 2006 candidate for lieutenant governor, was interested. But now the supermarket heiress has backed away — how do you think she feels these days, knowing she couldn’t even take out the babbling pajama-clad Crash Murray, the laughingstock of state politics?

Then there was state Sen. Cynthia Creem. But she’s 67, a divorce lawyer. Think Judge Judy. In Fall River they may watch Judge Judy, but they won’t vote for her, not against a Kennedy.

In the past, whenever Kennedys have parachuted into congressional districts, one or two indigenous hacks have always risen up to give them a run for their inherited money. In 1986, when Daddy Joe moved to Brighton from Marshfield, it was a dodgy state senator named Bachrach. Now, the cupboard is bare.

Wonder how Barney Frank feels. Turns out he was merely a placeholder for the Kennedys, a modern-day Ben Smith. But then, so was Tip O’Neill, as it turned out. On the plus side, JoJoJo doesn’t appear quite as dim as the run-of-the-mill modern Kennedy. He can walk and chew gum at the same time, unlike, say, Uncle Max.

Believe it or not, JoJoJo doesn’t drink. And he did go to Harvard.

The Kennedys have to win this one, or it really is all over. They’ll pull out all the stops. Health permitting, Hugo Chavez will be stumping for JoJoJo in Fall River in the fall.

Sean Bielat would be an underdog, but at least he’s been through the ringer before. Come back, Sean. The good news is, this time you won’t have to worry about being stalked by Barney Frank’s pot-bellied partner, Dude, taking pictures of you wherever you go.

Do us all a favor, Sean. Go for it.
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1394142