Posted on 01/26/2012 8:03:07 PM PST by SkyPilot
CBS) – The single life is a challenge for many people – dating and finding the right romantic partner are not easy. But for one segment of the population, it is even more difficult, according to a new and controversial book.
CBS 2’s Jim Williams takes a look at “Is Marriage for White People?” by Stanford University professor Ralph Richard Banks.
Danielle Smith, 38, and Tiffiney Ross, 29, seem to have it all. They are attractive, well-educated and have successful careers. But we asked them, where are the men?
That’s what I keep asking myself every day,” Smith said. “I don’t know where they are.”
We wondered what the dating scene was like for Ross.
“There isn’t one,” she said. “I’m dating absolutely no one.”
They are not dating, so chances for marriage seem slimmer.
“I don’t even think about meeting someone,” Smith said. “That’s how disillusioned I’ve become.”
Smith and Ross, both African American, are not unusual according to the book “Is Marriage for White People?”
Stanford University Law professor Ralph Richard Banks writes black women are more than three times as likely to never marry as white women.
Why? Because Banks says the pool of black men available to them is smaller.
“Ten percent of black men are in prison,” Banks said in an interview with CBS 2. “Black men have much higher unemployment rates; much higher school dropout rates than other groups.”
(Excerpt) Read more at chicago.cbslocal.com ...
“...Black women should be open to dating people of all races, as Black men are.”
Agreed. Does that make Black women RACIST??? Not that I care, I don’t.
Frankly...you need to teach classes. What you describe hardly exists anymore. I’ve looked 25 years to find that without a great deal of luck.
In response, men take horniness as biological and flee feelings of perfection, the word "perfect" sounds like rusty manacles opening. They look everywhere for someone who can see right through them and still accept them, perhaps love them. When "perfect" enters the game, they know whatever the woman sees, she isn't seeing him, and then the distance begins. Woman blames him (he's only depressed because he knows it drives me crazy) goes into control mode (if I say this, then he'll do this, if I act like this, then he'll think that, etc), to him she's become an insane stranger, hs worst cynicism is confirmed, and he's in the wind. Problem is, men end up being "in the wind" so often and see this behavior pattern so many times that they prepare for a break up before anything has a chance to go downhill. They're going to end up being the bad guy *whatever* they do...and start packing it in long before the plane has come to a full and complete stop. In time the drone grows gray and a little peace and a nonjudgemental environment becomes at least as attractive as the lust, confusion and control issues that are the modern manifestation of romantic dreams. In their cut and run survival mind a "normal" woman becomes more and more an object of idle fantasy, and internet porn takes the edge off when carnal desires could lead them into yet another romantic mistake.
Of course, your mileage may vary ;^)
One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given was the following:
“Rule number one when it comes to women: All the good ones are taken, if they’re not, there’s a reason why.”
You couldn’t pay me enough to get married in this country. I’m not volunteering for a trip on the Titanic, sorry.
And I’ll add this observation to the conversation: Between “Sex and the City” and “Real Housewives of ‘x’”, women get REALLY distorted and bizarre views of the world.
I hate to even splash my personal stuff around like this, but honestly I’ve been looking for something decent since my college days in the early 90’s. I have met some great women but it has been in passing and never at the right place and the right time. I’m old fashioned and I need to get to know a girl a bit before I ask her out, and am not comfortable doing that from a chance meeting.
Even then there have been very few. Even most of the nice ones, when you get down to it they’re looking for a man to come along and give them a good life rather than making one for themselves and making even better when that man does come along. That’s been the biggest barrier to finding one for me - most women look at a man to see what they can get out of him. I’m tired of feeling like a lunch ticket and a source of entertainment.
I’ve just given up on the parade of a-holes. Have plenty of married and non-married women friends and kids love me so that keeps me sane and realizing that I’m normal. I’m well networked into my district politics and am working to be financially independent. When I get there I’m thinking of adopting a couple of kids and telling the ladies to take a hike. It’s just not worth it.
“Taken” by whom? For the most part, we don’t have arranged relationships in this country. I’m pretty damn cynical but IF there are “good ones”, why can’t we be one of the “takers”? I don’t think this is something to live by.
“You couldn’t pay me enough to get married in this country. I’m not volunteering for a trip on the Titanic, sorry.”
I’m in the same boat. I want an exclusive relationship, but I will likely never get legally married or permanently live with someone. The problem is that all but the stupidest women know the power that the courts give them in any dispute. Absolute power can corrupt even the best people. These laws came about because men had all the power in the past and many abused it, discarding and ruining the lives of women. Now it is the exact opposite and just as bad, with women seeking full control and threatening to ruin the lives of men.
And I’ll add this observation to the conversation: Between “Sex and the City” and “Real Housewives of ‘x’”, women get REALLY distorted and bizarre views of the world.
All fiction is biased and distorts reality to allow the reader/viewer to escape it. The same can be said of the articles in playboy or visual pornography.
It sounds really weird but I think television, magazines, music, blogs, websites and movies (collectively, ‘Pop Culture’) make women and men uncertain in today’s world about their roles.
Hollywood does everything it can to tear down Anglo-Saxon, Christian, heterosexual marriage and family. Note how every Home Depot ad is of a minority family in a big house and how every geek in a Depends diaper or the fool who rams is car into a swimming pool is a middle-aged white male.
There is a reason for this, one, it’s envy. The radical Lefists live in surreal Beverly Hills/Upper West Side existential lives that are basically empty and they project their hatred and emptyness with vicious portrayals of the evil family of four in Indiana or Texas, and glamorize the lower income barrio-trailer park-ghetto lifestyles as “diverse and real” which is ironic in a gated, security detail-protected home in the hills.
My wife watches Housewives, Kardashians, etc. and dreams of a carefree lifestyle. The allure of doing charity work and being a full-time mommy with 3 week vacations and a paid staff of nannys and cooks seem appealing to our suburban t-ball and ballet life.
I dated many women in big cities, and found a lot of women who basically want to be taken care of, and some who are, as you said, super ambitious. I was lucky, not too many gold diggers, but also, people don’t want to struggle, so they work hard or want to marry a secure, steady provider.
In the end, I think it comes down to the woman, some can be cool, feminine as well as hardworking and not a pushover. You can find her, just avoid 100% of all Liberal women, I did.
It sounds really weird but I think television, magazines, music, blogs, websites and movies (collectively, ‘Pop Culture’) make women and men uncertain in today’s world about their roles.
Hollywood does everything it can to tear down Anglo-Saxon, Christian, heterosexual marriage and family. Note how every Home Depot ad is of a minority family in a big house and how every geek in a Depends diaper or the fool who rams is car into a swimming pool is a middle-aged white male.
There is a reason for this, one, it’s envy. The radical Lefists live in surreal Beverly Hills/Upper West Side existential lives that are basically empty and they project their hatred and emptyness with vicious portrayals of the evil family of four in Indiana or Texas, and glamorize the lower income barrio-trailer park-ghetto lifestyles as “diverse and real” which is ironic in a gated, security detail-protected home in the hills.
My wife watches Housewives, Kardashians, etc. and dreams of a carefree lifestyle. The allure of doing charity work and being a full-time mommy with 3 week vacations and a paid staff of nannys and cooks seem appealing to our suburban t-ball and ballet life.
I dated many women in big cities, and found a lot of women who basically want to be taken care of, and some who are, as you said, super ambitious. I was lucky, not too many gold diggers, but also, people don’t want to struggle, so they work hard or want to marry a secure, steady provider.
In the end, I think it comes down to the woman, some can be cool, feminine as well as hardworking and not a pushover. You can find her, just avoid 100% of all Liberal women, I did.
It sounds really weird but I think television, magazines, music, blogs, websites and movies (collectively, ‘Pop Culture’) make women and men uncertain in today’s world about their roles.
Hollywood does everything it can to tear down Anglo-Saxon, Christian, heterosexual marriage and family. Note how every Home Depot ad is of a minority family in a big house and how every geek in a Depends diaper or the fool who rams is car into a swimming pool is a middle-aged white male.
There is a reason for this, one, it’s envy. The radical Lefists live in surreal Beverly Hills/Upper West Side existential lives that are basically empty and they project their hatred and emptyness with vicious portrayals of the evil family of four in Indiana or Texas, and glamorize the lower income barrio-trailer park-ghetto lifestyles as “diverse and real” which is ironic in a gated, security detail-protected home in the hills.
My wife watches Housewives, Kardashians, etc. and dreams of a carefree lifestyle. The allure of doing charity work and being a full-time mommy with 3 week vacations and a paid staff of nannys and cooks seem appealing to our suburban t-ball and ballet life.
I dated many women in big cities, and found a lot of women who basically want to be taken care of, and some who are, as you said, super ambitious. I was lucky, not too many gold diggers, but also, people don’t want to struggle, so they work hard or want to marry a secure, steady provider.
In the end, I think it comes down to the woman, some can be cool, feminine as well as hardworking and not a pushover. You can find her, just avoid 100% of all Liberal women, I did.
“I’ve just given up on the parade of a-holes. Have plenty of married and non-married women friends and kids love me so that keeps me sane and realizing that I’m normal...I’m thinking of adopting a couple of kids and telling the ladies to take a hike. It’s just not worth it.”
Excellent plan!!! Adoption is most definitly a worthwile option.
Between my sister’s kids and my friends’ kids, I’m fine with being the “Uncle” and not the “Dad” or as someone else said “the organic ATM”.
“They are attractive, well-educated and have successful careers. Danielle Smith, 38, and Tiffiney Ross, 29, seem to have it all.”
Youth?
Fertility?
Domestic skills?
Good proportions?
Grace?
Drama??
High Maintenance??
Nasty Attitudes?
Sense of Entitlement?
Hollyweird DOES everything it can to tear down Anglo-Saxon, Christian, heterosexual marriage and family. They've done a great job.
“In the end, I think it comes down to the woman, some can be cool, feminine as well as hardworking and not a pushover.”
BINGO!!! You're talking quality. Trying to find quality amongst the mentally unbalanced, drug addicted, alcoholic and/or on mood controlling drug(s) zombies out there can be akin to finding the proverbial needle in a haystack.
Fantastic, fantastic analyses going on here!!!
In reality, I have friends in their 50-60’s who swear they will never, ever marry another American woman in their lifetime.
They go to Costa Rica, Cambodia, The Phillipines, Mexico, Equador or Brazil to find their mate.
The women there are taught to respect men (actually, they fear them in those cultures) and know how to cook, clean and keep their man “happy all the time” vs. a moody, bitchy, materialiistic, gold-digging, plastic surgery patient who cares more about her handbag, nails and fitness trainer than being a wife.
I know I sound bitter, but my wife loves my hard work, housework and support, but since the kids have been born, is a sexual Antarctica. She loves wine club, cooking parties and play dates with her friends and Mommy clubbers, but being a woman is another thing, she loves being Super Mom, not Super Wifey.
If you see the video, like the fawning Lefty media always does about Michelle Obama, they say this Skeletor Woman (Danielle Smith) and 200 lb. pudgy lady (Tiffany Ross) are smart, attractive and desirable.
The first is a 5, the second is a 4 or 5 out of 10. I wonder if they work in the public or private sector...
The premise is not accurate and the Leftard loves to put a bowtie on a pig, literally.
The fluffier one, actually, seems pleasant and she's kinda cute. Too bad she's so hung up on skin color.
My first advice to you... never step foot in a bar or club again.
My second advice to you... get involved with a church (a large one preferably) and in particular get involved in their singles sunday school class.
One of my oldest friends was going to go to Columbia on a “Wife Hunt” before he met his wife (Mexican-American). She was born here, raised by churchgoing naturalized US citizens. They get along great, she's a sweetie. Too bad she doesn't have a sister, but I digress.
Sorry about your wife's switch. OTOH, from what you say, she takes being a mother seriously, and that's a big positive!
Great advice, thank you!!!
I’m happy with my current girlfriend of 13+ years.
I think Latin women are beautiful. Another reason for me to sail south next year...a little reconaissance...mmm-hmmmm.
I agree; Latinas are HOT!!!
Have a good trip!
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