Posted on 02/04/2012 9:13:39 AM PST by jimbo123
While Americans fret over modern parenthood, the French are raising happy, well-behaved children without all the anxiety. Pamela Druckerman on the Gallic secrets for avoiding tantrums, teaching patience and saying 'non' with authority.
(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...
I agree with your post, but then there are people like Tim Tebow was always told that he was special, but that his special talents came from God and that God had a plan for him.
There is a whole lot of truth to this.
Europeans in general do raise their children differently.
They are firm along with being kind and loving. Tone of voice does make a difference. Ask any dog whisperer.
Learning patience is key as well as constancy and uniformity.
A child has to learn how to entertain himself and understand that parents are not constant playthings.
Montessori understood this well.
Wife and I also raised our son without trying to win favor.
Too many parents try to be their child’s best friend. It doesn’t work.
I bet also that European children have less incidence of ADD, hyperactivity, learning disabilities, etc., which are a result of constant catering to kids.
I was amazed at the kids that could speak more than one language over there.
One more thing. I think American parents try to ‘reason’ with their young kids too much. Young children aren’t capable of reasoning.
Heard these exact words from my nine-year-old daughter last weekend. My response was to tell her that there was no one was responsible for her boredom other than herself. She soon found something to amuse herself.
That’s code for Arab Muslims.
I agree with that. Children need to know that they are valued and loved by the Lord and their parents. But that is different from indulgence. Being told you are special can mean greater things are expected from you. That God has a plan for you even if your life seems to be going nowhere. That even if you live and die an average person, the Lord loves you just as much as Tim Tebow. I'm talking about the parents I know who, as the woman in the article says, think they were put on this earth to be their kids' servants. That is wrong and ultimately hurts the kid. The kid does not learn self sufficiency.
Can I get an amen??!!
It infuriates me to hear a parent going through the ‘what do you want to eat?’ routine. And then for them to allow the brat to say no to everything and think that it is somehow ok??!!
When I was young, we had grilled cheese sandwiches and tap water. Or kool-aid. On Friday nights, we were ecstatic to have frozen fish sticks cooked on the same cookie sheet as frozen french fries. When we had sleepovers, it was one 2 liter soda, Jiffy pop and a frozen pizza. We thought we were rich!!!!
No one asked what we wanted. We ate what was put in front of us and were grateful.
LOL. My mother and father used to say the same type of thing to us kids. "Well, there's a vaccum cleaner in there that needs some use." or "The car needs washing."
But now it has backfired on my mother. She is retired and every once in a while she tells me she is bored. I get a big grin on my face and tell her, "Well, I'm sure you have a vaccum cleaner that needs some use . . . "
I was in France during Lance Armstrong’s final Tour De France and the frogs’ in Paris were pricks. But it wasn’t only to Americans, they hated everyone, especially Brits and Germans. When the Tour went to the mountains and countryside, the locals were the nicest people you could meet. They gave away free wine at each town and which resulted in visitors like myself mostly going to the barricades drunk.
Their only cultural immersion is what's on TV, usually MTV. Seen MTV lately?
They have no value or appreciation for knowledge or education. No basic instruction in manners. No respect for any authority.
They are really eternal 6 year olds and never mature beyond that.
They are less civilized than Islamic Arabs.
In CA you can see this in spades.
If you are in a nice part of town composed mostly of two-parent households (even if not the original parents), kids are generally well-behaved and respectful as they have learned that behavior from their parents.
Head to the other side of town and the exact opposite is true.
It's Lord of the Flies on a truly grand scale.
I’ve spent considerable time in Belgium. Almost everyone speaks Dutch, French, and English. And by its border with Germany, they speak German as well.
I’m fortunate to have a dual citizenship - American/German
If Obama gets re-elected, I got a way out.
Delayed gratification is something that quite a few adults need to learn also - they would have less debt.
When I was growing up we were not allowed to say, “I’m bored”, and I never let my kids say it. Drives me insane to see how many parents think it is their job to keep the kids entertained.
Make it stop!
Each cultural subsystem has its own idiosyncracies. We’ve been dealing with lack of parenting for many years, here.
In fact, I look to the example of the Jews for excellent parenting: education in academics, music; arts and the classics as well as respect for family, in relation to what I witness.
I’ve seen it in a lot of places, US included, but it’s sad that well behaved children are so notable by their rarity.
I recall joining a former girlfriend on a trip home to Mexico and being shocked at how well her nieces and nephews behaved. The children (of a wide age range) could dine at the family table with no problems and all play together fairly quietly. If they got too loud a calm reminder by grandfather was all it took.
Even my daughter is driven mad at the store by the little ill mannered creatures that pass for kids. Why in hell parents agonize and whine over their brats being in trouble, lazy, etc when they allowed a child to do as they please is more than I will ever understand.
I come from a ranch family-they were into healthy eating out of necessity-you ate what you grew/raised, period. Don’t want to eat fresh-picked spinach and grilled chicken that was running around yesterday? Okay, then go to bed hungry. Ethnic goodies (we are Hispanic) like tamales-only on weekends, lots of trouble to make, too much fat and there is no Taco Cabana. And no more than a couple hours of TV-out the door to play you go. Act out in a public place, and you got your ass smacked right then and there.
I married a ranch boy and we brought up our daughter the same way, even though we lived and worked in the city-she has thanked us many times.
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