Secret Service Agents: We Were Too Drunk To Have Sex

Breitbart ^ | 4/25/12 | Ben Shapiro

[Nachum]

Last night, President Obama appeared on Jimmy Fallon’s unwatchable late-night show – a show most notable for Fallon’s almost-incredible inability to keep a straight face while telling the world’s least funny jokes – to discuss the Secret Service prostitution scandal. “The Secret Service, these guys are incredible,” Obama said. “They protect me, they protect our girls. A couple of knuckleheads shouldn’t detract from what they do. What they were thinking, I don’t know. That’s why they’re not there anymore.” But the Secret Service agents in question don’t need Obama’s help in their defense.

[Churchillspirit]

Several accounts have the SS on JFK’s detail partying hearty the night before Dallas.

[Buckeye McFrog]

ViDoz. 50% Viagra, 50% No Doz.

Coming soon, from your friends at Pfizer.

[GSWarrior]

I believe the Dead Kennedys wrote a song about this.

[Upstate NY Guy]

Exactly right. You would think these idiots would know that if they take up the hooker's time they have to pay. Period.

Too drunk to sc**w is a stupid excuse for refusing to pay and getting into a heated argument, and making a big scene and getting kicked out of the Secret Service.

[KarlInOhio]

back to 2009, when Secret Service agents assigned to President Clinton partied it up with strippers.

But that was XXX-42. The Secret Service had to go where the president went.

"Agent Smith, you know when you swore you would take a bullet for me. Well, that ugly stripper is coming over here to give me a lap dance. You need to take it for me so the two cuties following her will find my lap empty." (bite lip and give half thumbs up).

[lazypadawan]

I was just about to say...cue up Dead Kennedys’ “Too Drunk To F***.”

[TexasCajun]

I’m wide awake now!

[andy58-in-nh]

ViDoz. 50% Viagra, 50% No Doz.

Coming soon, from your friends at Pfizer.

[Vendome]

Too drunk to have sex?

So you are pussies and can’t hold yer liquor?

You needed to be bounced from the SS a long time ago then.

You are weak as a newborn baby’s grip.

[17th Miss Regt]

Imagine trying to use that as an excuse after your wife finds you with a male hooker.

[Vision]

“Honey, I’m a kuncklehead.”

[mcshot]

Her thighs and abdomen look bruised. Prolly from hauling that “yak” around.

[Boogieman]

I don’t know, I’d need to be pretty drunk to go for that. Bad fake boob job and her face looks a bit rough. Probably not that appealing if you were to see her up close and in person.

[mcshot]

A well known author, survivalist and patriot described this under the practice: LEOs work hard and play hard”. He went on to say that although this activity is well known O used it specifically to weed out SS employees he no longer wanted around him.

[dmz]

With pleasure - I repost the picture of said hooker...

I don’t care how drunk you are....

<><><><><><><><

Hilarious.

You have to be female (or a man who has never pushed the limits of inebriation).

At a certain point in the inebriation cycle, there will be, uh, failure to launch.

[JustSayNoToNannies]

cue up Dead Kennedys’ “Too Drunk To F***.”

Your wish is my command.

[mcshot]

haha I think my launching pad shut down once but I was too embarrassed to ask...I think it was a solar flare or something.

[Buckeye McFrog]

You’re never too drunk to f***, only too drunk to
remember that you did...

[wxgesr]

“Moral: Pay the babe full price plus a tip.”

Never stiff a hooker......

[ichabod1]

We no know you have to or should use a condom. We no know you can’t or shouldn’t be drinking and whoring on the job protecting the president. We no know them girl was prostitutes and that we had to or should have paid them.