Utah man’s confessional obituary owns up to life of pranks

Yahoo News ^ | 7/17/12 | Eric Pfeiffer

[Nachum]

Val Patterson said his life motto was "Anything for a laugh." And after the 59-year-old died of throat cancer last week, he owned up to a few humorous events from his life.

Patterson's obituary in The Salt Lake Tribune begins like many others, with a loving tribute to his wife, Mary Jane, and recollections of a life lived in full. But then things get more interesting, as Patterson notes, "Now that I have gone to my reward, I have confessions and things I should now say."

First up, the former engineer admits he never earned the advanced degree from the University of Utah that gained him entrance to his chosen professional career:

"What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn't even graduate, I only had about 3 years of college credit. In fact, I never did even learn what the letters 'PhD' even stood for."

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"non-sequitur. If one does or does not falsify credentials, it has no impact on the quality of work required by an advanced degree program. for those of you in Rio Linda, while I would question someone's work ethic who falsified credentials, I certainly would not consider lacking an advanced degree a basis for doing so."

I didn't question his "work ethic," I questioned his basic integrity and his competence. The "practical joker's" employer apparently wanted somebody with a Ph.D, not somebody who hadn't managed to get through his undergraduate work. It seems the employer thought those credentials were necessary to do whatever the job was because they were willing to pay the extra costs to get someone with those creds.

If a person lies, in a very significant way, to get a job, it is entirely reasonable to believe that person would lie about other significant things to keep that job. For those of you in Rio Linda, that's a bad thing and that is why I wouldn't want to drive across any bridge designed by jokerman.