No longer taboo, but divorce still damages children: Suffering goes on into adulthood and even old ageThe leftists, even in spite of the obvious evidence, want to continue the long march into the dirt . . .
>> the children of broken families continue to suffer destructive effects throughout their lives, the report said.
Shouldn’t require a report to know this.
People “get over” war, too, But a child is dreadfully scarred by divorce, as much as by the death of a parent. The evidence shows it. Of course, a bad marriage is also wounding, but on balance, in more cases, not as much as divorce.
When my son was in middle school, some years ago, he asked me out of the blue in the car one time if I’d ever been unfaithful. Fortunately, it was easy for me to tell the truth. What was on his mind was a friend of his whose parents were splitting up because of some kind of an affair. What I remember most was that he stated to me that it was his GREATEST FEAR that his mother and I would break up. You know, in my youth, such a thing never even occurred to me.
Divorce affects you through your entire life. As a child you love your parents yet feel you need to establish a loyalty to one or the other. The battle of the parents is to win the loyalty of the child which really screws them up. Divorce is destructive. Always has been, always will be.
My friend volunteers in a Kindergarten class. She said you can spot the kids whose dads are not in the picture - they are untethered, off kilter. At FIVE!
All I can say is after what I saw my dad go thru, I vowed I wouldn’t ever voluntarily go thru that.
I’m 61 years old now, and I can look back and see the damage my parent’s divorce caused. By the time it was over, it damaged most of the relationships in my life.
It’s not something I dwell on. It is something I can look back on and make assessments about. And in truth, as an adult, you’re responsible for your own actions. I still see negative influences in there. They are obvious.
One thing I determined as a child, was that I would never divorce my children’s mother. And so I proceeded to fight divorce when my first wife wanted out. My determination since my damaged youth, caused me to stay in that relationship too long and damage my own children’s lives.
And then my children carried over the damage from our relationship into their adult lives.
My present wife has an ideal family setting. Her parents remained very close. When my wife went through her divorce, her psychologist she went to see to help her through, once actually told her that her parents had a dysfunctional relationship because they never argued.
I believe that for many people, life is a minefield that you do your best to get through unscathed.
I believe that God laid down the best blueprint possible. People would be a lot happier if they listened to Him more, and themselves a lot less.
My parents were divorced but the way I look at it, at least I had two parents of the opposite sex.
Divorce usually kills children’s belief in God ( the Father) and makes them emotionally insecure so the state can manipulate them easily or make them dependents. The State can become parent which fills the void in the children whose loyalty is crushed and redirected to negative things. Warps their entire view of human relationships of men and women. They will usually copy the behavior of divorce. It is easier than staying married.
Dalrymple writes about divorce and unwed mothers destroying the children of England. They are imploding—the nation—because of the destruction of the family unit. But this has always been know by sociologists—destroy the family and you destroy the culture. (Cultural Marxists decided to do this in the 30’s—destroy American culture-— Mock Christianity and fathers and focus men in puerile pursuits so they never mature. Then get the mothers out of the home, particularly away from nurturing their children, so the children become unmanageable and make the “home” miserable. Then the family unit falls. Without morality—there will be no healthy family unit.
The state (Marxism) has created the conflict between the sexes, (feminisim/Friedan the communist) between adults and children (movies of rebellion against tyrannical, dumb parents who are usually Christian) and teaches the perversion of homosexuality to sexualize children—the easiest way to corrupt the innocence of a child and warp their thinking (Harry Hay was sodomized as a boy and became a radical Communist and founded the homosexual movement in America).
The media preaches dysfunction 24/7 in everything.....to cheat and lie and normalizes all perversions which denigrate human beings. Makes it easier to treat people in unchristian ways and split up. But the grass is never really greener for more than a very short time——the negatives are too costly when children are involved since all future relationships are negatively affected for the rest of their lives.
Some o’ y’all are neglecting the frequent circumstance that one partner is a total POS and has done things for which no forgiveness is possible much less virtuous.
Some children know what’s going on and actually cheer their parents’ divorce, and by the stats given, around 78% of children whose parents divorce do just fine.
Cheat? You might fool the spouse, but the kids will know and they will hate you for it.
He refused to pay child support for me, and he hated it that I was loyal to her. Old bastard. He's een gone now for about 9 years; but If I ever visit Miami, Florida again, I intend to piss on his grave.
My mother's second husband wasn't much better, IMO. I left home a couple of months after they married. I think she was really worried about ending up alone. I don't share my mother's taste in men (all in her mouth, IMO), and I'm really glad that not all men are like those two assholes.
I agree with that. My maternal grandparents divorced, my paternal grandparents divorced. My parents divorced when I was 2, each remarried. Then my mom divorced my step-father when I was 13. She married again, then divorced again 5 years after that.
I don’t spend a lot of time wondering why I have my own problems with maintaining functional relationships. I’m on marriage #2 myself...and it’s my wife’s 2nd marriage as well.
As the song goes - “I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger...”
Importantly, children raised in heterosexual, two-parent families are raised on the “success track”, academically and emotionally. By observation they learn how the opposite gender lives, and how a heterosexual couple interact.
Children with single parents, however, are on the “survival track”, which often means that they approach life from a predator-prey standpoint. And it is up to their individual strength to determine whether they are predator or prey, or oppressed to the point where they become oppressors when the opportunity presents itself. Which is why children of single parents are 60% more likely to become criminal offenders, and many of the rest are passive-ineffectual.
Children of divorce are likely a miserable blend of these things, and children of homosexual parents, while a relatively new phenomenon, are already being seen as trending towards the survival track.
The pain never goes away, NEVER. It’s been 30 years for me, and it still hurts, and I still have anger about it.
Oh, my brother and I went on with our lives, we married and had kids ourselves, but I think the both of us long ago swore to ourselves and our spouses that we would never NEVER do to our children what was done to us — and our parents had an “amicable” divorce, with no fighting over property or custody.
Divorce is a scourge; it should be discouraged at all times, and especially if there are children involved.
Regards,
Click, click click- a whole bunch of very serious puzzle pieces in my emotional junk-drawer just came together in understanding why certain things are the way they are in my life.
Thank you- this thread has hit home like no other. Going to donate to FR today in appreciation.
placemark