Posted on 02/06/2013 11:46:05 AM PST by Mountain Bike Vomit Carnage
It's impossible to open a magazine or turn on a TV show without hearing someone yammer on about when it's best for women to have babies. Do it too soon, and you'll basically be poor forever and your kid will end up becoming a Florida carnie when he grows up. Wait too long and your husband has to inject hormone shots into your ass every night and you cry every time you get your period (that is, if you've got good enough insurance to be able to afford fancy ass-shots). Ideally, somewhere along the sparkly pink timeline of a woman's life, there's a point where she's financially and emotionally mature enough to support a child and her body is still capable of making babies — but what about the alternative? When's the best time to have an abortion?
One of the perks (well, side effects) of writing publicly and frequently about how women should be able to control what happens inside their own skin is that every time a friend gets knocked up and wants to end her pregnancy, she ends up confiding in me, a person she knows will not tell her she's going to hell for choosing abortion. "You're going to hell for other things," I'll say, to make her feel better. "Like the time you peed in that litterbox at a party because the line for the bathroom was too long. Also your engagement ring is made of a conflict diamond."
The other week, after talking to yet another friend who had seen the plus sign on a pregnancy test, I started thinking about how many women I've known over the years who have chosen to end pregnancies. They've ranged in age from 17 to their early 40's. There have been so many, in fact, that a clever anti-abortion rights/baseball fanatic might nickname my phone's address book "Murderers' Row." (and I'd be fine with that, because while I take issue with abortion being equivocated with actual murder, I respect the reappropriation of baseball slang). So when is abortion the best? If I remembered how to use a graphing calculator, I'd make a chart on an X-Y axis. But since I don't, here's a weighing of the pros and cons of abortion at almost any age, in listicle form. Under 18
Pro: Well, duh. This one's a no-brainer — teenagers aren't, as an almost universal rule, equipped to be mothers. And pop culture abounds with living, breathing DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WHEN YOU ARE A TEENAGER warnings — Teen Mom, Bristol Palin, Justin Bieber's weird mom who went out on a date with Chris Harrison, host of The Bachelor (not to be confused with Chris Hansen, host of To Catch a Predator). When it comes to giving birth as a teen, it's not a question of IF you'll experience massive hardship as a result of bringing a child into the world before you're old enough to legally buy lottery tickets; it's a matter of how much of a lasting lifefuck will result.
Con: Expense, awkwardness, access. Teenagers don't tend to have several hundred dollars lying around for an abortion, and having the "Mom, can you drive me to the abortion clinic?" conversation is probably the most awkward talk a teen could have. And (pushes up glasses on nose) 88% of counties in the US don't have abortion clinics, so a teen with limited resources might have difficulty accessing abortion services until too late. Further, kids still living under their religious parents' roof may have some Bachmannian hang ups about when life begins and how totally damned they'd be if they ended their pregnancies, making the decision logically sound, but morally difficult. Hell, when I was a teenager, I chose "Madeleine" as my confirmation name and had a button that read VOTE PRO LIFE on my bulletin board in my bedroom. 18-23
Pro: Early twentysomethings still have their whole lives ahead of them, including many years of fecundity. But having a child at this age is less life trajectory-altering than teen motherhood, but young mothers still end up in poverty with greater frequency than the rest of the population.
Con: Cost, access, you can't use your parents' insurance because they'll know. 24-27
Pro: Young enough that you can still get pregnant from making extended eye contact with a guy with a beard, old enough that you've probably got a job that pays enough that you no longer must shop at Forever 21.
Con: Women in their mid-twenties might still be dating around, but this is the point at which some women start thinking about getting serious with that One Special Guy who they someday hope might fill them with a baby (and the average age for a college-educated woman to marry for the first time is about 27). As a rule, it's more emotional to abort when you know the guy's last name. 27-30
Pro: If you haven't acquired an expensive coke habit by now, congratulations! This is the richest you've ever been on your own! If you saved up a little, you could probably afford a designer abortion. A Marc Jacobs abortion, in teal.
Con: Hey, this is my demographic! And this is the age where I've first started to notice mild finger wagging against taking one's fertility for granted. Thirty, after all, has a three in front of it, whereas twenty-nine only has a two in front of it. Three is greater than two, therefore you're already starting to wither. Better take advantage of whatever pregnancies you can get, at this age. Who knows when you'll find another guy willing to repeatedly fuck your aging-out-of-online-dating carcass. 30-34
Pro: Women in their early thirties can probably afford setbacks of a few hundred dollars — or, at least, they're more likely to be able to afford it than their lower salaried, younger peers. They might already have kids, too, and maybe even an IUD.
Con: Tick tock, says your aunt at Thanksgiving, pointing to your maybe-barren womb. Tick tock, says that show where sexy doctors tell you about how to best regulate your fertility and really smooth out your poop. And maybe you're not sure you really want kids, but who knows when it will happen for you again? 35-39
Pro: Well, women in their late 30's can probably afford it. But at this age, certain birth defects are more common, and thus the reason to have one might not be an issue of maturity or financial ability, but of viability. Which is a total heartbreaking bum-out, to put it glibly.
Con: Having a normal pregnancy after this age is hard. It could be your last shot, Liz Lemon. After 40
Pro: Birth defects, likelihood that one's family might already be complete, access/affordability.
Con: The media's been warning women about this for the last decade of their lives, but this is the point at which the last egg heads down the chute. So what's the best age to have an abortion?
Taking into account access, ability to keep life plans intact, affordability, and likely relationship status, it's 25. Disagree? Hash it out below.
What age is the best age to stick a fork in your eye?
The only problem with the logic is that only the women can get pregnant. You don’t want to make men responsible for avoiding pregnancy because they can’t get pregnant. Women have to be the first and primary party responsible for avoiding pregnancy because they have 100% of the risk.
A friend was teaching Sex Ed to teen moms. She was showing them how to deploy a condom when a girl asked “What if he won’t wear it?”. My friend said “Say no to sex with him”. The girl responded “If I could say No, I wouldn’t be here”.
The age you are when you get pregnant!
Why is it that on pro-aborticide sites, they never talk about taking responsibility and preventing un-wanted pregnancies? Why do they never suggest that the guys carry rubbers and the girls carry birth control, if they are going to ‘get it on’? It is not like bars do not have vending machines in the toilets!
Based on The Bible, I cannot see sex between unmarried couples and certainly not the murder of unborn babies! Even from a fiscal conservative POV, regardless of religious belief, why would the use of BC be so frowned upon, instead, they go directly for aborticide? That makes no sense fiscally; one dollar for BC versus hundreds of dollars for an abortion, to say nothing of possible medical problems for the woman!
Yes, when IS the best age to walk into an elementary school and start shooting kids?
Crude? Different method, different trimester, but the same result.
Perhaps Adam Lanza should have waited until he was 30...
This ‘girl’ is a total skank.
Erin has a really cool job writing snarky, ridiculing "insult those Christians/Rethuglicans/Conservatives/etc." articles on the Internet for her cool friends (and she hopes the whole world) to read. Her baby-killing supporters can then use the Internet to give her instant feedback to reaffirm her "It's all about me" life.
Erin and her supporters can have sex with anyone and everyone they want, as often as they want, without any consequences. Erin never seriously worries about getting pregnant because Abortion is her RIGHT, and besides, as one of her supporters posted to her website -- "What's the big deal? Getting an Abortion is now about equivalent to getting a wart removed!"
Well, of course, "getting rid" of the innocent life by abortion does cost a little money, but hopefully the Government, MOM/DAD, or SOMEBODY, will foot the cost.
So Erin has this burning need to tell all who will listen that she will get pregnant as many times as SHE WANTS TO in this life, and she has the RIGHT to kill all those innocent babies, each and every time, IF SHE WANTS TO!
And since Erin has the sole choice to give birth, or kill the baby each time she gets pregnant, she has reserved the option to decide to keep one of these innocent babies at some point (but she has reserved the right to kill that baby, or any subsequent babies, if she should decide that it will interfere in any way with her lifestyle, cost too much, etc.)
Erin "knows" that the man she may choose to have a baby with will undoubtedly want that child to be born because -- well just because Erin wants it that way.
And Erin "knows" that the father of that baby will accept it as being his because he will completely believe, and accept, that Erin wasn't having sex at the same time with any of her other partners.
So Erin "knows" that he will believe and accept that it "has to be" his child she is carrying, and he will "really, really" love her, and he won't subscribe to the "why buy the cow when the milk is free" approach to having had sex with Erin.
So, here I read about Erin and her friends, living large, living worry free, making choices that bend the world and reality to their wants and needs.
It all seems so perfect, so free, so liberated, so "I am woman, hear me roar!"
Kind of like a modern soap opera, where Erin and her friends are the script writers, and everything they write becomes reality.
And yet, I wonder about how Erin and her friends lives will go, as the days and months and years pass.
As their minds gradually allow thoughts of the small innocent lives, physically and violently ripped to shreds for what seemed like only the cost of a few dollars each time. Was it really only equivalent to "removing a wart?"
As their minds (seemingly) randomly recall pictures (and real) examples of:
-- little innocent babies, smiling and cooing at their loving Mothers while they are being washed and fed and comforted.
-- toddlers lovingly, and proudly, carried by their smiling Fathers who toss them in the air to hear their giggles, or sit them on their shoulders so that they can look out over a world created just for them, that they have been born into.
-- small children running after each other, laughing and yelling joyfully as they enjoy exploring the world and the life that God intended for them.
And, as the years roll on, during quiet, reflective times, hearing in their minds small whispers of "why did you kill me mommy? What did I do that made you hate me so much?"
As I read Erin's article, sadness, anger, frustration all come easily.
But I also realize that I am being given a glimpse into the life of a lost soul. A self-portrait of a pitiful creature who has hardened her heart and pursues a baby-killing life, while also encouraging others to do the same.
While praying for all the innocent babies who will undergo terrible violent deaths at the hands of Erin and her friends, I will also pray that she, and they, repent and turn to the Lord before it is too late for them.
Little do they seem to realize that once upon a time, Erin and her friends were also innocent babies, and only by the Grace of God they were not subjected to a bloody, violent death at the hands of a Godless Abortionist.
“How about we start holding both MEN and WOMEN responsible for a pregnancy.”
I have said this all along. Only to be old that women are the “gatekeepers”. I firmly believe men could keep their pants zipped up as well.
When is the best time to have an abortion? In the case of the author of vomitous mass, I’d say, “Anytime. Every time. For the good of the species, woman, do us all a favor and get yourself spayed.”
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