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A Victim Speaks: Standing Up to a Revenge Porn Tormentor
http://betabeat.com ^ | 5/01 | by Jessica Roy

Posted on 05/03/2013 10:05:47 AM PDT by Maelstorm

Edited on 05/03/2013 10:11:38 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]

On a drizzly evening in Tampa in 2006, 23-year-old Holly Jacobs was enjoying a typical date night with Ryan Seay, her boyfriend of a few short months. As the time to head home approached, he walked her to her car and reluctantly kissed her goodbye. She clung dreamily to the sweater Mr. Seay had given her earlier in the evening, when she’d said she was cold. As her car pulled out of Mr. Seay’s driveway, she noticed it: a little heart that he had traced in the raindrops collected on her rear windshield.

Years later, when they’d finally broken it off for good, Ms. Jacobs, now 29, says that Mr. Seay did the unthinkable: He uploaded naked photos of her to the web. Photos that she’d sent to him in confidence. He allegedly posted them to scores of revenge porn sites, online hubs where scorned exes publish intimate photos without their former lovers’ consent. She says he attached her name, email address and a screenshot of her Facebook profile to the nude photos along with commentary about what a slut she was. Knowing that she was working as a Teaching Assistant at a local university, he allegedly uploaded a video of her masturbating with the title “Masturbation 201 by Professor Holli Thometz.”

Ms. Jacobs, who legally changed her name from her birth name “Holli Thometz” following the abuse, is just one of an untold number of women who have been victimized by revenge porn, as hackers and scorned exes have posted nude pictures of them without their consent. But victims, at first afraid to speak out, are beginning to fight back against the distributors, proprietors and site hosts who comprise the revenge porn economy. In January, more than 23 women signed on to a class action suit in Texas against the revenge porn website Texxxan.com and its host GoDaddy.com. In Florida, where Ms. Jacobs lives, a law was recently proposed that would make the distribution and hosting of revenge porn a felony before last-minute amendments were tacked on and the bill was sidelined to temporary postponement, according to sources familiar with the situation.

To date, New Jersey is the only state with a viable revenge porn law on the books, and it stems from the infamous 2010 case of Rutgers student Tyler Clemente. The statute, 2C:14-9, makes it illegal for anyone to “disclose any photograph, film, videotape, recording or any other reproduction of the image of another person whose intimate parts are exposed or who is engaged in an act of sexual penetration or sexual contact, unless that person has consented to such disclosure.”

On Thursday April 18th, Ms. Jacobs became the first person in Florida to ever sue an ex for their alleged distribution of revenge pornography, according to her lawyer, Patrick McGeehan. She filed a civil suit in Miami-Dade County against Mr. Seay for invasion of privacy, public disclosure of private facts and intentional infliction of emotional distress. The suit (embedded below) alleges that Mr. Seay “published pornographic images and a video of the plaintiff as well as the plaintiff’s name, occupation, details about her schedule and other personal and private facts about the plaintiff on various websites.”

Lawyers and victims across the country are now looking to her case as a model in the ongoing legal battle against revenge porn. After years of hiding in shame after her naked body was splashed across the web without her consent for strangers to ogle, she is finally coming forward to speak about her experiences. And for the first time, she’s using her real name.

***

On New Year’s Day 2009, Ms. Jacobs received a call from a friend who frantically told her she needed to log on to Facebook and change her password: someone had changed her typically harmless profile picture to a naked photo of her. When she logged on, the photo was gone. Emotionally rattled, she called and accused Mr. Seay, since he was the only person she had sent nude photos to, but he flat out denied it.

“From that day on I Googled my name regularly just because I knew he was capable of this,” she said.

Several months later, Ms. Jacobs was Googling herself at Florida International University where she was working as a statistical consultant, and came across a cache of her naked photos on the website amihotornotnude.com. “I must have just turned white,” she said. “My stomach just dropped and I felt ill and I told my boss, ‘I have a personal issue that I need to go take care of’ and I ran out of there.”

This time, her full name had been published alongside the photos. And there were tons of them.

***

DSC00586Images kept cropping up, even as Ms. Jacobs scrambled to have webmasters scrub the photos from scores of sites. Even stranger, they seemed to multiply, as if he was Photoshopping and cropping the images to make it appear like there were more of them. Then the threats began.

Someone created a Yahoo address in her name and emailed her a collection of her photos. “Get in touch concerning your pictures. Theres also a nice video,” the person wrote in an email timestamped 6:50 a.m. “Have [they] seen them?” Pasted below were the email addresses of Ms. Jacobs’ coworker and boss. Ms. Jacobs was terrified, but decided not to respond and eventually fell back to sleep. At 8:16 a.m., Ms. Jacobs received another email: “It’s 8:15 where you are. You have until 8:37 to reply. Then I start the distribution.”

That day, the anonymous person who had established an email address in her name sent the photos to her boss and coworker. Three days later, he had uploaded them to scores of revenge porn sites. Her photos went viral.

Ms. Jacobs enlisted the help of a local counsel named David Seltzer, but the anonymous individual, whom Ms. Jacobs believes to be her ex, continued to torture her. Someone anonymously tipped off the university’s HR department that “a professor is masturbating for her students and putting it online,” explained Ms. Jacobs. The call landed her in the dean’s office, left to explain the embarrassing incident. The aftermath eventually led her to quit her job.

Though she’d called the local police when the abuse first started, they told her that because she was over 18 when the photos were taken, there was nothing they could do for her. The campus police at her university took a report and sent it to the state attorney’s office, but they refused to pick up her case. So Ms. Jacobs worked tirelessly to try to scrub the images of herself from the web. She filed DMCA takedown requests and created sites with positive information about herself in an attempt to push her pictures lower in search results.

“I worked like a dog getting all of them down,” she admitted. “I got them all down except for some of the torrents. Within two weeks they went right back up on other sites.”

***

By February of 2012, Ms. Jacobs had had enough. She had lost years of her life fighting to erase the online pornographic trail her tormentor had created for her without her permission, and she was done. “I realized–this is what he wants me to do,” Ms. Jacobs told Betabeat via Skype. “He wants me to spend all of my time taking down my Google results instead of moving on with my life and being free and being in a good relationship and getting my Ph.D. So I essentially said, ‘**** it.’”

“I felt like the only thing I could do was part from that identity that had been completely defamed and I wanted to just get on with my life,” Ms. Jacobs said.

One night the idea struck her to create End Revenge Porn, an online hub for victims and advocates to discuss revenge porn. She connected with women like professors Mary Anne Franks and Danielle Citron, former politician Charlotte Laws and lawyers Erica Johnstone and Colette Vogele, experts in the field who helped her hone her message. She also formed an unofficial support group with two other victims, Hollie Toups and Jane, the pseudonymous woman behind Women Against Revenge Porn. Now Ms. Jacobs’ site, End Revenge Porn, is one of the most prominent platforms for resources for revenge porn victims, and Ms. Jacobs is working on establishing it as a non-profit. Through the site, she’s also collecting donations to help fund her anti-revenge porn efforts.

But the reign of terror continued for Ms. Jacobs even as her taste for activism grew. In August of 2012 she was supposed to present her thesis at a conference for the American Psychological Association when someone–she believes it was Mr. Seay–published the date, time and location of the conference, alongside her naked photos. “They even had a summary of what my presentation was going to be on,” she explained. “They said something like why don’t you go check her out and see if she’ll have sex with you for money because she’s obviously out of a job.”

DSC00580 - Version 2For Ms. Jacobs, that was the final straw. She backed out of the conference, saying her safety was in danger, and was possessed with a renewed fervor to have her case picked up by the police. Alongside her mother, the duo charged Senator Marco Rubio’s office, a move that eventually led her to meet with the Florida State Attorney’s office. “I went to that meeting and there were six people around the table and I just started crying because I was like, finally somebody is going to do something about this,” she said. “And it was just a huge wave of relief.”

A few weeks ago, Ms. Jacobs received word that a state attorney would take the case and charge Mr. Seay with cyberstalking, the first time a victim has ever filed a criminal suit against her ex for distributing revenge porn. Mark Cox, chief of investigations at the Florida state attorney’s office, told Betabeat that the office has filed a case to charge Mr. Seay with one count stalking, two counts harassment by use of personal identification info and one count unlawful publication. The case is set for arraignment on June 3rd, and Mr. Seay faces a maximum penalty of four years in jail. Mr. Seay declined to speak with Betabeat, but his attorney, Charles Arline, said that Mr. Seay denies all allegations and maintains that he is just as much of a victim in this as Ms. Jacobs is.

“I’m coming out because I’m tired of hiding,” Ms. Jacobs said. “I’m tired of not knowing which name to give to who in my life. I want to live an honest life.” As the first person to file a criminal complaint against her ex, Ms. Jacobs will undoubtedly become a lightning rod for the controversy revolving around revenge porn, and she wants to set an example for other victims who are struggling to find a way to put their lives back together.

“The fact that Holly is able to experience what she’s experienced and use that to fight struck me as impressive,” Mary Anne Franks, a law professor at the University of Miami who specializes in cyberharassment, told Betabeat by phone. ”The experience is so disturbing and depressing I can’t imagine she could have the energy and courage to do what she’s doing.”

Still, Ms. Jacobs has a long way to go. She’s been working with lawmakers in Florida to pass a bill that would make publishing revenge porn without a victim’s consent a third-degree felony. The bill received an onslaught of initial support, but its debate in the House has been temporarily postponed. Ms. Jacobs hopes coming forward will help give lawmakers the extra push they need to put a revenge porn law on the books.

“I hope that I’ll set an example and show this is how you overcome this: by coming forward,” she said. “You’re not exposing yourself–you’re already exposed on the internet. Instead, you’re exposing what is happening to you. Everybody’s going to see me naked, and everybody’s going to see me do things I never wanted anybody to see except the person I was with. But if it’s in the name of the cause and to change the laws about this, then I’m happy to do it. We’re all naked underneath our clothes.”

If you want to contact Holly about her story, you can reach her at endrevengeporn[at]gmail[dot]com.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: dumballaround; fornication; porn; revenge; sex; sourcetitlenoturl
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To: Opinionated Blowhard

As a kid of the 60’s, the guys in my high school went to those booths where you get 4 pix for a dollar and took pictures of themselves, doing what some guys do and passed them around school.
Or were with girls, well, doing ‘stuff’ and passed them around, ok not the internet but that was the tech at the time.
Most people at school, just that’s stupid and tossed the pix in the trash.
I do not remember any guy or gal calling attention to themselves by how offended they were and told everyone why they were offended in detail.


41 posted on 05/03/2013 11:02:56 AM PDT by svcw (If you are dead when your heart stops, why aren't you alive when it starts.)
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To: Gasshog

Yep common decency is not as common as it once was. I’m sure her mindset at the time was probably simply trying to please her boyfriend. That is where things have went off the tracks people don’t even think about doing the right thing and many women in particular have been led to believe that they have to do this kind of thing to keep bfs happy. It is largely the result of the sexual “progressive” movement.


42 posted on 05/03/2013 11:04:09 AM PDT by Maelstorm (This country wasn't founded with the battle cry "Give me liberty or give me a govt check!")
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To: Dead Corpse

“She didn’t consent to have her pictures put up on the web. He either needs to make restitution, or he needs to go to jail.”

That argument won’t hold up, I think, or someone better shut down Facebook, faaaast.

For argument’s sake (still thinking about the legal issues on this; morally it’s a no-brainer - wrong): She gave to him a digital file specifically for his possession, i.e. ownership. That makes the photo his property with all usage rights unless otherwise noted. In this case the exemption was “understood”, but not specifically written and agreed upon.

He’s a dick, but it may not be illegal (assuming she’s over 18).


43 posted on 05/03/2013 11:12:41 AM PDT by Noamie
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To: Maelstorm

And the problem is “purposely”. Most people run Windows, which SHIPS buggy and insecure. And is easily subverted, much less people being social engineered via email, and the computer zombified and under effective control of someone at an unknown remote location.

And there’s more than enough de-facto spyware even in common apps. . . I’ve had to remove, for example, the DropBox application, simply because it tried to slurp every file on any removable media I attach to the home box. . . .


44 posted on 05/03/2013 11:13:05 AM PDT by Salgak (Acme Lasers presents: The Energizer Border. I **DARE** you to cross it. . . .)
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To: cincinnati65
one can’t help but think that there was one really, really simple way this situation could have been avoided.......

I had the same thought, but I can't figure out what that option might be. I'm sure there is something simple that would have prevented this.

45 posted on 05/03/2013 11:13:18 AM PDT by Pollster1 ("Shall not be infringed" is unambiguous.)
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To: Salgak

Yep.


46 posted on 05/03/2013 11:16:02 AM PDT by Maelstorm (This country wasn't founded with the battle cry "Give me liberty or give me a govt check!")
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To: Maelstorm

How do we know only one boy had access to the pictures?


47 posted on 05/03/2013 11:17:57 AM PDT by JCBreckenridge (Texas is a state of mind - Steinbeck)
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To: Pollster1

Not taking naked pictures of yourself masturbating?


48 posted on 05/03/2013 11:18:42 AM PDT by JCBreckenridge (Texas is a state of mind - Steinbeck)
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To: Noamie
Read the User Agreement for Facebook. Anyone putting up info on there is for "public use" and any other use FB wants to make of it.

This was a private exchange between adults. He violated the implied consent for private use and made it public.

Under current law, which is a friggin' mess, this may not have been illegal. By my measure, it violates "non-initiation of force, fraud, or theft" on both the fraud and theft parts. He broke contract and if he received financial gain from misusing her likeness, then this could be construed as theft as well.

My dos centavos only as I am not a lawyer. :-)

49 posted on 05/03/2013 11:19:01 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (I will not comply.)
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To: Maelstorm

What happened to the brown paper bag?


50 posted on 05/03/2013 11:28:07 AM PDT by rusureitflies?
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To: Opinionated Blowhard
Dr. Laura Dishes on Nude Photos
Tuesday, the day after a judge denied her injunction request and okayed the posting of nude pics of her 28-year-old self on a porno Website, the normally outspoken Dr. Laura made her first public comments about the shots, addressing her "acute embarrassment" over the photos, dissing the man who snapped them and letting listeners know she has undergone "profound changes" in the years since.

In a statement read on her hugely popular syndicated show and later posted on her Website, Dr. Laura first thanked fans for their support. "Many letters and faxes generously say how grateful you are that some of your own past actions are buried in merciful oblivion and will never come to light. Would that I could say the same!"

She then explained how she followed her own "moral authority" in her twenties and "the inadequacy of that way of life is painfully obvious today."

As any diehard Dr. Laura buff can tell you, she eventually gave up her atheistic ways and became an Orthodox Jew.


51 posted on 05/03/2013 11:31:02 AM PDT by Bratch
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To: stop_fascism

Kind of like that Edwin Meese guy during the Reagan administration.
Making a living off of porn by seeking to get rid of it.


52 posted on 05/03/2013 11:43:07 AM PDT by MrEdd (Heck? Geewhiz Cripes, thats the place where people who don't believe in Gosh think they aint going.)
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To: JCBreckenridge

You are so smart! Millions of girls have not thought to try that idea, but I’ll bet it would work.


53 posted on 05/03/2013 11:45:58 AM PDT by Pollster1 ("Shall not be infringed" is unambiguous.)
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To: svcw

I think they’re both sick. What makes someone want to send pictures of theselves naked to anyone? The thought is repellent to me. I wouldn’t have anything to do with either of them.


54 posted on 05/03/2013 11:48:28 AM PDT by pgkdan (Some taglines never go away....)
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To: Maelstorm

It seems to me that several posters on this thread are dancing around the main issue: Immorality is immorality, period.

It seems that she suffered the consequences of her own immorality and is at this point in time trying to cash-in on her own immorality.


55 posted on 05/03/2013 11:50:44 AM PDT by spel_grammer_an_punct_polise (Learn three chords and you, too, can be a Rock Star!)
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To: Maelstorm
I'll admit to having a past, but one thing I made sure of was no pictures and no videos. The first part of World wide web is world.

While what she did was stupid, that ex boyfriend of hers is a real piece of trash and no different than a stalker. If this happened to one of my family members, the other guy would probably get an Irish knee-capping if the pics weren't destroyed immediately.

56 posted on 05/03/2013 11:53:01 AM PDT by Darren McCarty (If most people were more than keyboard warriors, we might have won the election)
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To: colorado tanker
She was in love with the guy and probably thought he was the "one." It's easy to say in hindsight she shouldn't have given him any pictures, but at the time she trusted him.

gHow do you know it was him? She says he's the only one she ever sent pictures to...what do you want to bet he shared them with his buddies? She's an idiot and a pervert. I find it very hard to feel sympathy for her. Both of them are creeps and sleazeballs. Sending a a video of yourself masturbating is simply disgusting. I can't relate with the need or desire to do that at all. If my wife had ever sent me something like that when we were dating that would have been the last correspondence we ever had and vice versa.

57 posted on 05/03/2013 11:54:52 AM PDT by pgkdan (Some taglines never go away....)
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To: spel_grammer_an_punct_polise

It seems to you personally that she is trying to cash in on her immorality.

It seems to others that she is trying to prevent future immorality on the part of others.

I guess how you choose to see this is entirely related to whether you desire to see more free porn on the internet or less. If you don’t want your freebies cut off the of course she is an awful hypocrite.


58 posted on 05/03/2013 11:57:08 AM PDT by MrEdd (Heck? Geewhiz Cripes, thats the place where people who don't believe in Gosh think they aint going.)
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To: Maelstorm

So true... even educated women who know better do stupid things... look at who was in her support group... one day at a family bbq, when that movie about Frankie Lymon, Why Do Fools Fall in Love?, came out, we all shared some of the foolish things we had done because we were or thought we were in love... most of what was shared wss down right silly...


59 posted on 05/03/2013 12:04:43 PM PDT by latina4dubya (when i have money i buy books... if i have anything left, i buy 6-inch heels and a bottle of wine...)
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To: Maelstorm
The problem with the Internet is it's like air. Once you throw a bag of dust into the air you cannot recapture all of it. As the owner of trademarks and a creator of products I easily win all challenges within the legal system but getting all the violations sanitized from the web has proved to be impossible. The hours, days and weeks are better served creating new items. Because about the time you think you've got it all more pop's up.
60 posted on 05/03/2013 12:13:35 PM PDT by liberty or death
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