Posted on 07/29/2013 1:47:02 PM PDT by Dogfaced Soldier
He's handy with a shot glass and customers travel from far and wide to admire him at work. The only strange thing about Carl the bartender is that he's not quite human.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
I have met a few bartenders that acted like robots.
Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says,”168”. The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”. Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”, and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close and says, “So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?”
LOL!
Please, oh please log onto that DailyMail webpage and post this joke! Oh the huge manatee!
Wow! That is a classic! 2009 seems so long ago.
My FAVORITE bar!
Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon.
I’m just picturing John Tapper screaming at him about overpours...
I always knew you were a woman of impeccable taste.
That doesn’t happen until August 29th. We’ve got a month.
Two Robots Walk into a Bar......
Robot marked thirty-two and robot marked thirty-two and a half, walked down the corridor into what was called ‘Joe’s Tavern’. The assignment that was given to them by Central was to infiltrate a human bar and study the species’ activity. The particular assignment was given to them , so they would be able to better adapt into the human environment. The bar they were sent to was a modern one, despite the name, and was located in south-eastern United States.
They scanned the location and the various humans inside. There were people dancing on a slim object, something their database told them was a floor and others were sitting at what looked like round objects, they were told were tables. They surveyed the room and saw several humans that were seated; to fit in that’s what they did as well. Robot marked thirty-two looked at various human women, carrying something that was shaped round, with liquid substances on it; after sitting there for a bit, one of those humans approached them.
“Hi, you two. Get you something to drink?” The waitress asked, dressed in cut-off jeans and a white t-shirt. Robot marked thirty-two and a half looked at the human woman. His database was trying to register and compute the right response needed.
“Yes, drink good for me,” is what the registry finally told him to say.
“Great. Ill bring ya the house special. Since the two of you look new here, you should enjoy it. Be back in a bit, okay?” She left to the bar section, and said a few words neither robot could register and then came back with some blue liquids.
“Here you go, our house special. Its called a Blue Hawaiian, you will just love it,” She flashed Robot marked thirty-two with a smile. He looked for a proper response and after receiving it, gave the best impression of a human smile back to her.
“Enjoy,” she said and left to tend other customers. The robots looked at each other and than at the crowd of humans. They saw many male humans standing around each other and several humans, that were female, sitting down at the tables. After awhile of surveying both male and female humans, they saw a male human approach a female one.
They studied the way the human male walked up to the female and said a few words that they thought they understood. Robot marked thirty-two, observed how the female responded to the words spoken to her by the male, a drink thrown at the male. He cocked his metal head sideways, trying to register what just happened. If this was the appropriate way for humans to act, than he needed to approach one and try this interaction.
He walked over to a table that was seated with four women. The women , busy chatting about some man one of them met last week. The robot approached them and said what he was given by the database, a hello. One of the women spoke to him.
“Ah, Sara, look here. Isn’t this sweet, he wants to talk to us,” the woman said, with a drunken chuckle. The robot stood there for a second, trying to compute those words into his database for the right response. It came to him with a delay and he replied back to the woman.
“That is not nice. I came to talk to you.”
“I know,” she chuckled, “that’s the problem.”
“Protocol says I should be insulted.”
“Protocol says, eh?” The woman continued to laugh, the other women joining her.
“Protocol also, says, I am suppose to ask you if you want a drink?”
“A drink? From you?” she said, her face squeezing together to produce a frown, “I don’t think so.”
“But protocol says, humans meet here to have...”
“Have what?” She joked, as she waited for him to respond.
“Protocol does not give me answer. Computing...”
“Hey, Sara, look at him. Gotta be something wrong with him,” she laughed gesturing to him to the other woman in the back of the table.
“Answer,” he finally spoke.
“Answer?” The woman replied, a sarcastic grin on her face.
The next thing that happened was a drink thrown on her face.
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