I have a few bones to pick with IBLP’s philosophy, having seen it and talked with people who have seen what chaos happens when unbalanced Christians get hold of it. I’d like to see an Institute of/for Basic Gospel Principles to be raised up. It would outline how grace and maturing righteousness works, and law would have a minor (and mainly illustrative) role.
I am sorry in turn to hear that you and yours really have your mind anchored in this world. Because as long as you do, you won’t even get a lot in this world.
I see you've moved from the observational point of view into the judgmental. I'm afraid you have far too little information to adequately fill that seat, or issue such advice.