Posted on 01/19/2014 10:01:51 AM PST by dead
Robert Reece has found that ignoring the Man Code has improved his life enormously.
Not only does traditional masculinity oppress women but it also severely restricts the agency of men (a topic, Ive written about in the past in the context of straight man love and hip-hop), often in simple, taken-for-granted ways. Straight men go to extreme lengths to perform masculinity. They avoid a wide variety of activities that they arbitrarily deem feminine or gay without analyzing the detrimental effects of this type of gender policing. Often mundane, seemingly inconsequential activities are heavily policed, inhibiting mens ability to live freely day-to-day. While its also important to show men the macro level benefits of feminism and disavowing traditional masculinity, I thought it would be fun to reveal the little ways that my life changed when I stopped trying to perform traditional, patriarchal masculinity. So here it is: the 5 MOST Mundane Ways Disavowing Masculinity Changed My Life.
5) I Admit When Im Sad
Sadness is weak; its feminine. Men rarely admit when theyre sad or depressed because men are supposed to be strong and unemotional. Deciding not to avoid traditional masculinity allows me to admit when Im sad and seek support and help. Im not left to deal with my problems alone. I also recognize the healing properties of crying so I even cry occasionally (and not just about sports or death).
4) I Can Touch Other Men
The ways straight men are allowed to touch other men are very limited, often only to handshakes, man-hugs (which are already restrained), and violent expressions (eg. sports, wrestling, etc). Inadvertently touching another man is strictly forbidden so measures must be taken to avoid this: men must be careful when handing a man something lest their hands touch, skip a seat in the movie theater to avoid touching knees, and scrunch up in the back seat of a car so they dont accidentally rub against one another. Its all so unnecessarily stressful and homophobic, and Id rather avoid the whole performance. If we happen to touch, so be it.
3) I Wear Womens Clothing Accessories
Mens fashion can be narrow, especially when on a budget, and as someone who enjoys fashion, Ive found that one way to push the boundaries of color and patterns is to shop in the womens section for accessories. Womens scarves and pins are infinitely more diverse than mens which often only come in black, greys, browns, and dark blues. To find an orange or blue that pops or a nice green and black pattern, the womens section is the place to be. Unfortunately, my feet are too big to wear womens shoes because I could certainly go for some inexpensive colorful loafers as well.
2) I Can Admit Another Man Is Attractive
I cant count the times Ive heard a man defiantly declare All men are ugly to me! in response to being asked whether he thought another man was attractive. Liar. Apparently, straight men think that finding another man attractive is akin to a desire to have sex with him, i.e. admitting that a man looks nice is gay. But we all find a wide variety of people (of any sex or gender) to be attractive and sometimes we seek to express it so Ive noticed men use an assortment of semantic moves to maintain their masculine performance while complimenting the looks of another man: 1) theyll compliment his clothes and focus on his clothes, carefully avoiding his general attractiveness, e.g. I like that suit as opposed to You look nice tonight; 2) theyll give a backhanded compliment, e.g. So you think you clean today, huh? or pair a compliment with a feigned insult such as, I like that suit, but youre still ugly; 3) they simply preface or conclude their compliment with a reminder that they are straight, e.g. I dont wanna f#ck him or nothing but Johnny Depp looks good in Pirates of the Caribbean or the infamous and endlessly homophobic No homo. I lack the time for this. If I think Im an attractive man and expect to be told so, I see no reason to deny other men a similar compliment.
1) I Sit Down to Pee
Honestly, I suspect that many more do this than will admit it. Perhaps since it can be done privately, actually performing the act isnt as important as admitting it, which few men do. But outside of public restrooms and urgent situations, Ive never seen the allure of standing to pee. The appeal of it seems to be primarily based on its association with masculinity, but Id much rather sit. Sitting is more comfortable and much neater, no risk of peeing on the seat or floor or dropping something in the toilet.
♦◊♦
Discarding these seemingly small things also create healthier men who arent as stressed by the daily minutia of masculine performance. And though I call these things mundane, they are part of the gendering process that maintains our system of patriarchal stratification, and adopting these simple acts of subversion can go a long way towards dismantling the notion of real manhood and with it the idea that men should dominate women.
5) I Admit When Im Sad
Bull Obama. Nobody wants to hear your whining. If you're clinically depressed, see a doc or self-medicate. Otherwise, keep it to yourself.
4) I Can Touch Other Men
Why would you want to?
3) I Wear Womens Clothing Accessories
My gaydar just jumped up to "Homo".
2) I Can Admit Another Man Is Attractive
Nobody said you couldn't.
1) I Sit Down to Pee
Standing is quicker and easier, but there's nothing wrong with sitting if you're tired or exceedingly drunk. The bottom line is: who cares?
This was a parody, right?
For laughs.
ROFL.
5) Since when can men not admit when they are sad? They can admit it. Nobody is going to care, but they can admit it. Semi-homo, because he really wants to cry like a woman, which is not their greatest quality.
4) Homo.
3) Homo.
2) Homo.
1) Homo. I’ll admit to sitting down to pee in the middle of the night. That’s not what he means, so ... homo.
That’s one semi-legitimate point, and four very clear homo-markers. Maybe he should cruise his local rest stops tonight.
If the author wrote this in order to get laid, then I will grant him then I will grant him a mulligan.
In truth women don’t actually like men with effeminate ways.
There’s not enough chocolate-covered Midol for this wuss.
4)Ah!
3)GAH!
2)Gay!
1)It's Good that you do because YOU ARE A LADY!
Boy do I miss the RED-GREEN show.
OKay!
Yeah. I didn't even know I wasn't allowed to be sad or acknowledge that a guy can be good looking.
And I sit down to pee when I want somewhere quiet to read.
I don’t know why, but between that photo and your tagline I think that’s one of the funniest posts I’ve ever seen on FreeRepublic. ROFL.
Isn’t a barf alert mandatory for a post of this nature? Just sayin’...
Ever been to a university lately? Examine the earrings-adorned, skin-tight jeaned, pink-shoes-wearing males walking about with their posse of females around them.
1) I Sit Down to Pee
That’s convenient!
Let’s get this right out in the open. This guy is a fag! Even if he doesn’t want to have sex with a man he is a fag!
Thank you! The image is relatively new. The tagline is old as dirt.
Shhhhhh! Don't give away the secret. When a man is married with children, the john is usually the only place he can read undisturbed. At one time I would go through the entire Sunday newspaper there, back when I read newspapers.
0). Oh and panties. I forgot to tell you I like to wear women’s panties. Pink ones. With lace.
5) Sadness is NOT feminine. It's a natural human feeling. Associating it only with women demeans both men and women.
4)"allowed to touch each other"? Real men decide for themselves what is and is not appropriate. Real men don't let others decide for them. If you want to touch another man in ways that most men have decided are inappropriate, you will have a problem.
3)If you want to wear clothes that are made for women, I think you're the one with the problem. I like fashion, too - men's fashions. Nothing more masculine than a well-made, good fitting suit. Maybe the women's clothing wearer doesn't want to feel like a man.....
2) Why? Real men don't care if another guy is "attractive". It's more like, "is he friend or foe?" How a man looks is of no consequence to real men, we just want to know if he can be counted on to get the job done.
1) Pee sitting down? Why?
Right or wrong, I get the strong idea the author would rather be female. He wants to pee sitting down, he wants touch men in more ways than shaking hands or a pat on the back, and he likes to wear women's clothes.
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