The Silent Star. ... Mark Steyn

Steyn Online ^ | 1March 2014 | Mark Steyn

[Rummyfan]

It's pre-Oscar night at SteynOnline. We're celebrating with The Oscar for Best Oscar Speech, and a look back ten years to A Great Night for British-ish Film. But from the Sunday Telegraph corner of the Steyn archives here's my profile of the man without whom none of this would be possible:

He's short. He's muscular. He has no private parts. No, not Tom Cruise. We're talking about one of that select handful of silver screen legends recognised instantly by their first name alone: Brad, Barbra, Arnie... and Oscar. He's Hollywood's most indestructible star, unless your chauffeur accidentally reverses over him in the limo. He has Tinseltown's most consistent year-round tan - a rich golden glow that you can see your face in, and sometimes your name on.

He's been to more Academy Awards parties than most, his place in the motion picture firmament so secure that, like Liz Taylor and Donald Duck, he's one of those rare stars who can dispense with the tedious bother of actually making movies. But, more than that, he's a great humanitarian: over the years no one has given more generously to sick people. Not too sick, mind you: just an award-winning left foot a la Daniel Day-Lewis or a few decorative stick-on lesions like the Aids-stricken Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.

[Rummyfan]

A little humor, from the brilliant Mark Steyn , for Sunday morning....

[Slings and Arrows]

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[Hardastarboard]

Tom Hanks in Philadelphia

I've never seen this film. Talk about a plot line that could be seen from outer space.

[Jimmy Valentine]

“Philadelphia” was based on an actual incident involving the Joel Hyatt Law firm a very lefty outfit who just tossed their employee aside. Hyatt is the son in law of the old Buckeye Bolshevik himself who was one of the meanest pieces of @$!!%& going.

[Izzy Dunne]

He has no private parts. No, not Tom Cruise.

Yowch.

[Izzy Dunne]

while it's also true that he can't do the big dance numbers because his feet are stuck together, that didn't stop Rob Lowe during the famous 1988 Snow White duet.

Yowch.

[Izzy Dunne]

"Each year, he orders a glamorous, exciting new outfit. But at the last minute he realises he's gone too far and he'll end up looking like an idiot. So he gives it to Cher."

Yowch.

[JLS]

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