Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

How to Consciously Uncouple: Advice for a drama-free divorce from Gwyneth Paltrow’s guru
National Review ^ | 03/27/2014 | Katherine Connell

Posted on 03/27/2014 6:40:34 AM PDT by SeekAndFind



Celebrity power couple Gwyenth Paltrow and Chris Martin are not merely divorcing; they are consciously uncoupling.

In a Tuesday night post announcing the end of their ten-year marriage, under the headline “Conscious Uncoupling” on Paltrow’s lifestyle blog Goop, the couple wrote that “it is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate.” After “working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us,” they “have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate.” They will always be a family, though, and in some ways are “closer than we have ever been.” They conclude with a request for privacy as they “consciously uncouple and coparent.”

Consciously uncoupling certainly sounds much more amicable and orderly than breaking up or even unconsciously uncoupling. But what exactly does it mean?

Paltrow helpfully followed up her initial announcement by posting a 2,000-word treatise on conscious uncoupling from Habib Sadeghi and Sherry Sami, a married couple living in Los Angeles. (Dr. Sadeghi is an osteopathic doctor who runs an “integrative health center” called “Be Hive of Healing,” pun presumably intended, and whose book Within: A Spiritual Awakening to Love and Weight Loss contains a forward written by Paltrow. His wife is a dentist.)

Sadeghi and Sami begin by explaining that given rapidly accelerating life expectancy, these days it’s unrealistic to expect that we’ll be able to stick it out until death do us part, which suggests we “ought to redefine the construct” of marriage.

“Our biology and psychology aren’t set up to be with one person for four, five, or six decades,” they write. So there’s the science. Now for some New Agey jargon: “Life is a spiritual exercise in evolving from an exoskeleton for support and survival to an endoskeleton,” they write in a section entitled, “Intimacy & Insects.” They mean by this, basically, that you have to look within yourself for support and strength and healing, not to others, or, one can infer, to any kind of external deity.

Finally, they get to the part about how to uncouple consciously and “avoid the drama of divorce.” You shouldn’t think about it in terms of your marriage having failed, because (a) as we learned, the expectation that it would last was based on an outdated construct, and (b) this is actually going to be a positive experience if you just let go of old notions and approach it in terms of building up your partner’s spiritual endoskeleton. “To change the concept of divorce, we need to release the belief structures we have around marriage that create rigidity in our thought process,” they write. The “belief structure” that marriage should be for life “is too much pressure for anyone.”

Conscious uncoupling will bring “wholeness to the spirits of both people who choose to recognize each other as their teachers.” What’s more, conscious uncoupling “prevents families from being broken by divorce and creates expanded families that continue to function in a healthy way outside of traditional marriage.”

They conclude that by “choosing to handle your uncoupling in a conscious way . . . you’ll see that although it looks like everything is coming apart; it’s actually all coming back together.”

One anonymous source offered E! a more prosaic take on the end of the relationship. “They both really believed in the sanctity of marriage and the role model it provided for their kids,” the source said. “Both of their parents were married their entire lives, and they really wanted the same for their kids. They stuck it out for a long time.”

If that’s an accurate description, it sounds like Dr. Sadeghi has some work to do in helping the uncoupling couple to adjust their rigid belief structures.

— Katherine Connell is an associate editor at National Review.



TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: divorce; gwynethpaltrow; paltrow; whogetsapple
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-69 next last

1 posted on 03/27/2014 6:40:34 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: SeekAndFind

No doubt their kids will be delighted to find they have “coparents” in their lives.


2 posted on 03/27/2014 6:42:51 AM PDT by madprof98
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SeekAndFind

He probably got fed up with having to do obeisance every time he came into the room.................


3 posted on 03/27/2014 6:42:58 AM PDT by Red Badger (LIberal is an oxymoron......................)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SeekAndFind
heh-heh...yeah, okay. The bickering should start in a month or two; then the lawyers, the inventories, the accusations the courts. It'll get real "conscious" soon.
4 posted on 03/27/2014 6:43:30 AM PDT by Ghost of SVR4 (So many are so hopelessly dependent on the government that they will fight to protect it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SeekAndFind

New age gobbledygook to avoid saying they are getting a everyday divorce.


5 posted on 03/27/2014 6:43:30 AM PDT by CaptainK (...please make it stop. Shake a can of pennies at it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SeekAndFind

More New Age nonsense. There are two children involved. Divorce is never easy or pleasant from their perspective.


6 posted on 03/27/2014 6:43:41 AM PDT by allendale
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SeekAndFind

Guess that’s the “View from the Top”.


7 posted on 03/27/2014 6:48:21 AM PDT by exit82 ("The Taliban is on the inside of the building" E. Nordstrom 10-10-12)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: madprof98

Their kids? You mean APPLE and MOSES?


8 posted on 03/27/2014 6:48:42 AM PDT by Toespi
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: allendale

Keep in mind that Mom is one of the most high-demand actresses on the planet and Dad is the frontman for a popular band.

How much time to you think those kids really spend with their parents, as opposed to the staff their parents hire to “parent” for them?


9 posted on 03/27/2014 6:50:24 AM PDT by tanknetter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: exit82

Seriously. When your lifestyle and financial outlook is not going to change the least little bit, I imagine divorce can be pretty amicable.


10 posted on 03/27/2014 6:51:23 AM PDT by Wolfie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: allendale

Divorce tears the kids to pieces. There’s no way to deny that.


11 posted on 03/27/2014 6:52:47 AM PDT by Mrs. Don-o (Woe to those who call good evil, and evil good; call darkness light, and light, darkness.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: SeekAndFind
Finally, they get to the part about how to uncouple consciously and “avoid the drama of divorce.” You shouldn’t think about it in terms of your marriage having failed, because (a) as we learned, the expectation that it would last was based on an outdated construct

Some people in Genesis lived until 900 years old and they had marriages.

Outdated construct? Did that come from the script of the Matrix?

12 posted on 03/27/2014 6:57:51 AM PDT by Lx (Do you like it? Do you like it, Scott? I call it, "Mr. & Mrs. Tenorman Chili.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lx

RE: Some people in Genesis lived until 900 years old and they had marriages.

The problem is these people don’t believe in the Bible.


13 posted on 03/27/2014 6:58:58 AM PDT by SeekAndFind (question is this)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: SeekAndFind

He’s a homo and she’s annoying.


14 posted on 03/27/2014 6:59:01 AM PDT by jimbo123
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SeekAndFind

Touche’


15 posted on 03/27/2014 6:59:29 AM PDT by Lx (Do you like it? Do you like it, Scott? I call it, "Mr. & Mrs. Tenorman Chili.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: tanknetter

Are they consciously coupling with other people yet?


16 posted on 03/27/2014 6:59:29 AM PDT by txhurl
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: SeekAndFind

Er — the earliest marriages lasted for hundreds of years.


17 posted on 03/27/2014 7:01:27 AM PDT by agrarianlady
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SeekAndFind

Gweneth who? I should care because.............?


18 posted on 03/27/2014 7:03:55 AM PDT by Cheerio (Barry Hussein Soetoro-0bama=The Complete Destruction of American Capitalism)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Red Badger

Are you accusing her of being a J.A.P.? LOL!


19 posted on 03/27/2014 7:04:04 AM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; We need a second party!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Toespi

I would have been much more comfortable if they would have named their second child Banana or Grape. Where is the consistency in Apple and Moses. There was obvious confusion between this couple from the beginning!


20 posted on 03/27/2014 7:05:55 AM PDT by MissH
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-69 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson