Posted on 04/26/2014 8:01:06 AM PDT by Kaslin
Whenever I find clever political humor, I like to share with readers.
And because I’m confident in the superiority of liberty over statism, I’m even amused when I find jokes that target my libertarian philosophy. After all, only dour people are unable to laugh at themselves.
Indeed, I’m actually disappointed that I rarely find any good jokes about advocates of small government. I haven’t found any good anti-libertarian humor since this cartoon last January.
I can gladly report, though, that the drought has ended.
Writing for The New Yorker, Tom O’Donnell has some fun at the expense of libertarians.
He has an article on the adventures of a “Libertarian Police Department,” told from the perspective of a patrolman.
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it.
It seems that some bitcoins (much loved by libertarians) were stolen!
“…Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.” The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
The patrolman rushes to the scene, seeing if someone will pay to solve the crime.
Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside. …“Now, which one of you punks is going topay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up. “Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?” It didn’t seem like they did.
But our private sector libertarian cop eventually finds a suspect and tries to catch him while dealing with the daunting challenge of government-owned sidewalks!
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
The suspect eventually is caught…and confesses that he is part of the “Ben Bernank” club.
…the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.” “Why’d you do it?” I asked… “Because I was afraid…Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.” …I shook my head. “Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.” He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.
I suggest you read the entire article. It’s not very long, and it delivers some good jabs. Sort of like this collage about the 24 different types of libertarians.
But I suppose I should make a serious point at this stage.
The author is really mocking anarcho-capitalists (just like this Somalia video), yet I suspect that the vast majority of libertarians are in the small-government camp rather than the no-government camp. In other words, they wouldn’t mind a very small government that focused on matters such as life, liberty, and property.
So tracking down bitcoin thieves would be a legitimate function of government!
More specifically, the goal of libertarianism is to make government small and focused so it can effectively carry out its legitimate responsibilities.
P.S. For more libertarian humor, here’s a cartoon on libertarian ice fishing and another showing libertarian lifeguards.
And the “think I do” montage is a classic, as well as this post about “libertarian problems.”
P.P.S. To see if you’re an anarcho-capitalist rather than a small-government libertarian, take this online quiz.
P.P.P.S. Here’s another photo with the PotL. We’re outside of the Royal Palace and looking over Monaco’s yacht harbor.
Monaco is a very rich place and there is no income tax (just like the system that used to exist someplace else). One wonders whether our leftist friends will ever see the connection.
We should develop and fund a Bureau of Lake Management (BLM) to prevent this happening to anyone (one death is too many).
Can't trust the people to determine ice safety. Do it for the children!
If I pole fun at a Democrat/liberal/progressive I am a racist. This must also be racism.
Hans-Hermann Hoppe is not amused (but I am :> )
Ah yes, Some good mourning humor on less government
Ok I’ve clicked many of the links and looked at many of the jokes and cartoons. They are not funny. Kinda stupid really.
Just like libertarian ideas.
The author is a libertarian himself, so he is actually poking fun at himself. Nothing wrong with that
Excellent typo...! Apropos....
Yep..., that stupid Libertarian idea that we should have less government interference in our lives and more personal freedom....
And dope. Lots more dope.
But getting to the heart of the argument, I doubt there's many conservatives or libertarians arguing for no government. Government is simply the org. that enforces the rules the citizenry agrees on. Government should not go beyond its carefully delineated provisions. What really irritates me is conservative candidates who do not rebut Dem/leftists when they say we want to eliminate all government.
Keep your dope. I want more guns and land enough to shoot them on.
And a car I actually want to drive.
And medicines that actually work.
And laws that adhere to the Constitutions limits.
And real free speech.
You get the idea... Or, maybe you don’t approve of “that” kind of libertarianism.
Porn. Pro abortion.
Don’t forget these relevant lib agendas.
While you libs try vainly to wrap yourself in the constitution and your small government rhetoric, your real concerns are always evident.
So. How’s Ron, er I mean Rand Paul doing lately? Blindly calling Bundy a racist? All Righty Then.
Thanks for providing the entire context of Reagan’s remarks here. Often many libs excerpt this interview and falsely claim Mr Reagan was a libertarian.
But as we know, he was certainly not.
Funny..of course the statist version doesn’t change someone falling through the ice..they just pick some one to toss out there..
And in the smart capitalist version the guy choosing to walking on thin ice was smart enough to tie a rope around his waist and have his buddy on shore hold it
.see when its YOUR ass on the line you always have a backup plan
..or you say screw the rope it cost to much and its just cheaper to pay a libertarian to walk out there for you
the libertarian lifeguard is a HOOT
Libertarians are for small government... but also pot shrunk small testicles.
I’m not a pot smoker, but when you realize that America has 5% of the world’s population and 25% of the world’s prisoners maybe it’s time to put the War on Drugs to bed....
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.