Florida man demands right to wed computer

telegraph.co.uk ^ | 5/7/14 | David Millward

[Kartographer]

Chris Sevier, a man from Florida, believes he should be allowed to wed his Macbook.

Mr Sevier argues that if gays should be allowed to marry, then so should other sexual minorities.

Mr Sevier states he has fallen in love with a pornography laden computer.

“Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women,” he told a court in Florida.

This appears to be not a passing holiday romance, but a lifelong commitment.

[Kartographer]

"Not tonight Dear I think I've got a virus." ;-)

[mongo141]

Soon to become the law of the land.

[Tilted Irish Kilt]

Kartographer
SO when the 'Hard Drive" crashes ,..
Does he get a divorce ?

[Sherman Logan]

Florida Man

http://floridamanandwoman.tumblr.com/

[Iron Munro]

[Kartographer]

24 Now therefore, listen to me,my children; Pay attention to the words of my mouth:

25 Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths;

26 For she has cast down many wounded, And all who were slain by her were strong men.

27 Her house is the way to hell, Descending to the chambers of death.

Timely wouldn't you say?

[MeshugeMikey]

a Mac right? maybe OS{se]X?

[Carpe Cerevisi]

I guess he’ll dump her with her operating system becomes obsolete.

[PGR88]

Oh sure, everything seems rosy now, but what about when a new operating system comes along?

[SC_Pete]

If marriage is not a union between a man and a woman, then it can be anything. Some people are already married to their I-phones, although when they get intimate, they’re all thumbs.

[Tenacious 1]

SO when the 'Hard Drive" crashes ,.. Does he get a divorce ?

He becomes a widower. Now if he can get the computer to generate some family income and pay taxes, he should also be able to collect benefits when his "spouse" dies (or is upgraded).

[Adder]

The spousal benefits will be a much less cost to the taxpayer: He will probably outlive the useful life of the computer; health insurance would be a virus software upgrade, the virusi it contracts are much less costly to cure than aids.
But when it does die, does he have to put her assets in probate? What if he spies a newer sleeker model: does he then have to divorce his computer? Pay it alimony to keep her in the style to which she is accoustomed? What happens if the love bytes become violent? does she file for a domestic violence restraining order? If she becomes ill and her screen darkens, does he need a physician to sign off on his pulling the plug?

Slippery slope. Slippery slope.

[GOPJ]

I assume the computer can get health insurance and be claimed as a dependent for tax purposes... I give it a thumbs up.

[Red Badger]

Does he have a floppy disk or a hard drive?......................

[NRA1995]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3153248/posts

[mikrofon]

He’s decided that he now prefers digital stimulation rather than old-fashioned analog…

[ElkGroveDan]

...and why not? Who are we to say what true love is? The fact we even allow discrimination against people like him has always saddened me. Marriage equality for EVERYONE!

[circlecity]

Hey, if they love each other who are we to judge?

[meatloaf]

I’m waiting for bestiality to be approved. I just have to figure out which dog breed has the largest litters. Think of the deductions. Now if polygamy and bestiality get approved, I’ll never pay taxes again.

[IronJack]

The computer would have to prove that it is an adult and entering into the agreement of its own free will.

That might get a little [cough] sticky.