A Letter of Thanks from Hamas to the Media (satire)

Mediate ^

[TigerClaws]

Dear Members of the Mainstream Media,

You’ve been awesome! Everyone knows that we start unwinnable wars with Israel because the real victory happens when you predictably side with us each time. And you’ve been so supportive of our strategy that we really want to acknowledge your helpfulness. In particular, we thank you for:

- Focusing so much more on our suffering than anyone else’s. Nigerians must die in far greater numbers before you take notice, so we’re glad that you value our lives so much more.

- Minimizing your coverage, if any, of our attacks that led up to Israel’s military response and generally providing so little context that outsiders think that Israelis kill Palestinians just for fun. We’re especially grateful to the French media for this. Their distortions of the conflict are so one-sided that they incite Muslims across France to attack Jews and synagogues, and that is welcomed by our anti-Semitic worldview (although, unfortunately, such attacks remind everyone why Jews need a state).

- Emphasizing our civilian death toll without explaining that (1) our casualty reports are hasty and inflated, and (2) we maximize that total by using Palestinians to shield our weapons and by urging them to stay in the very areas that the IDF – in its annoying effort to minimize our civilian deaths – warns Gazans to evacuate.

[Telepathic Intruder]

P.S. Recently some of you incorrectly reported that Hamas shelled a school and killed some civilians. Yes we did it, but you’re supposed to say Israel did it. We will overlook this mistake for now, but don’t let it happen again.

Hamas.

[berdie]

Heard this on The radio coming home tonight.

Great article...and spot on!