"I'm president Brak Ubama, and I approve of this virus!"
But, first, we must acknowledge the virtues of Ebola. Ebola is a virus of peace, a virus dedicated to fairness, and equality, and humanity. No genuine Ebola virus would wantonly kill journalists and innocent children. What we are witnessing is the perversion of a great virus. We will offer support moderate strains of the Ebola virus to isolate and eliminate this perverted strain of Ebola.