Posted on 10/09/2014 6:03:29 AM PDT by SoFloFreeper
LOL! When I was in school I’d give myself a tummy ache holding it in at my desk. I would have died of embarrasment if I hadn’t. When we were kids my parents wouldn’t allow us to say the word “fart.” They deemed it only appropriate to say “passing gas” haha and if we knew one was coming it’s “only polite to exit the room momentarily:)
I woulda sworn girls don’t break wind.
They don’t. My eighth grade English teacher phrased it thusly: Horse sweat, men perspire and ladies glow. Translated today: Horse fart, men pass gas and ladies fluff.
Have her call my Cousin Earl.
Well...we’d like you to think we don’t:) Granted ours are usually the more silent but not deadly variety. Yep.
The only time I f@rted on demand was after my colonoscopy when the nurse said “We’re not releasing you until you f@rt”.
Apparently running that fifteen foot probe up one’s colon will introduce outside air.
So I unleashed my diaphragm muscle and went “BLAAAAAAT!!!” to scattered applause in the recovery room.
She who smelt it, delt it.
Ha! Well. That doesn’t really narrow it down now does it?
Three stages of a relationship.
Phase I - You’re afraid to fart around her.
Phase II - You’re more comfortable farting around her when it can’t be avoided.
Phase III - You fart in bed then pull the covers over her head afterward.
She does seem to have a fondness for that particular area….linky.
Would Phase I, a) be when you blame it on low flying geese?
Reality?
There really is nothing worse than watching TV with an American female.
Go get your own TV, babe, and leave me alone.
Paging Newbomb Turk. Newbomb Turk please pick up the white courtesy phone...
Actually it is a crude word. But it’s one of the few I like better than any other term, so I use it in private. But not in company.
Another tip - do NOT rush from where you let go to the next place. As a mechanical engineer and victim, the vortices you create rush that scent forward with you to your victims. I’m trying to get DH to understand that - don’t think you’re being nice by standing away, then walk forward even normal pace to where I am. Slowly. Then it can dissipate where you tried to be discrete.
Ah yes, the subtle nuances. But, but....... what about when you are in the car? Who beafed?!
I hate to admit this, but I am the champion (especially since my chronic diseases took over, but well before that too). My dad’s genes are too strong in this.
But I am not a burper. My dad is horrible with that, too, but I can count on my hand how many times I’ve had a genuine burp. I hardly know what it’s like - too much like barfing, which is part of why I hate it.
It’d be better if she’d be the first one to fart...or is that not in the contract?
Genetics may well play a role in farting. That should become a frank discussion among cowardly Americans. Burping should be its own thread.
While I appreciate that Miss Lawrence is a refreshingly down-to-earth actress, somehow, this article makes me yearn for the glamor days of Hollywood.
i am available...
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