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I hate spiders!
Thank goodness male human are -completely- safe from the depredations of the female of our species.
Strangely enough, I see a correlation between female spiders and human females.............
Kind of like the fake glass engagement ring maneuver?
The Kardashians of the insect world.
Check out the Portia spiders. They are jumping spiders that specialize in preying on other spiders. These things are amazing, they seem to solve problems like much bigger animals.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portia_(spider)
Freegards
See link right above this. Muzzies donthe same thing.
Y’all realize this proves evolution, right?
This article is assuming we are binary and hetero normative.
What about the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered spiders? What about their mating rituals???
So they are just like us. The men pay, or they pay.
One way or the other.
Let’s not even discuss what happens when the male spider forgets an anniversary.
Some girls take my money
Some girls take my clothes
Some girls get the shirt off my back
And leave me with a lethal dose
French girls they want Cartier
Italian girls want cars
American girls want everything in the world
You can possibly imagine
[ Lady spiders demand gifts from their gentleman callers — or else they eat them ]
I think I dated her at one time.
And that happened “independent of female hunger.”
I think they’ve missed a key factor they should consider before assigning any deeper meaning to this so-called “ritual”. The mama spider may not be hungry when she decides to eat the male, but she is pregnant, whether she is hungry or not, and she will need all the nutrients she can get in order to maximize the chance for healthy offspring. I’d bet they probably have a hormonal trigger to gorge themselves after mating, regardless of hunger.
Guys better buy those little $40 packets of chocolate-wrapped strawberries our talk show shills are selling
The Female of the Species
Rudyard Kipling
1911
1 When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
2 He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
3 But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
4 For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
5 When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
6 He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
7 But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail.
8 For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
9 When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
10 They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
11 ‘Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale.
12 For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
13 Man’s timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say,
14 For the Woman that God gave him isn’t his to give away;
15 But when hunter meets with husbands, each confirms the other’s tale —
16 The female of the species is more deadly than the male.
17 Man, a bear in most relations — worm and savage otherwise, —
18 Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise.
19 Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact
20 To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.
21 Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lay the wicked low,
22 To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.
23 Mirth obscene diverts his anger -— Doubt and Pity oft perplex
24 Him in dealing with an issue — to the scandal of The Sex!
25 But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame
26 Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same,
27 And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
28 The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.
29 She who faces Death by torture for each life beneath her breast
30 May not deal in doubt or pity — must not swerve for fact or jest.
31 These be purely male diversions — not in these her honour dwells.
32 She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else.
33 She can bring no more to living than the powers that make her great
34 As the Mother of the Infant and the Mistress of the Mate.
35 And when Babe and Man are lacking and she strides unchained to claim
36 Her right as femme (and baron), her equipment is the same.
37 She is wedded to convictions — in default of grosser ties;
38 Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies! —
39 He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild,
40 Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.
41 Unprovoked and awful charges — even so the she-bear fights,
42 Speech that drips, corrodes, and poisons — even so the cobra bites,
43 Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw
44 And the victim writhes in anguish — like the Jesuit with the squaw!
45 So it cames that Man, the coward, when he gathers to confer
46 With his fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her
47 Where, at war with Life and Conscience, he uplifts his erring hands
48 To some God of Abstract Justice — which no woman understands.
49 And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the Woman that God gave him
50 Must command but may not govern — shall enthral but not enslave him.
51 And She knows, because She warns him, and Her instincts never fail,
52 That the Female of Her Species is more deadly than the Male.
more likely to be eaten by female spiders before mating
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Let’s do some necessary editing ...
more likely to be eaten by female spiders instead of getting to mate...
“Gimme some web baby, oh yeah, that’s it, just like that!”....