Carr: New crop of books nobody wants to make for good pulp, fiction

Boston Herald ^ | February 3, 2017 | By Howie Carr

[Brad from Tennessee]

Try to restrain your excitement — Hillary Clinton, John Kerry and John Kasich are all writing books.

Think how many trees are going to die for … what? And then there’s the carbon footprint. All those trucks taking all those thousands of books to warehouses and stores, then picking them up after they don’t sell and taking them to some place to be pulped — at which point maybe they can at least be recycled into something more useful, like toilet paper.

Let’s start with Kerry’s proposed book. It’s going to be his “first memoir,” which you could take as a threat — there may be a sequel! Sadly, as someone pointed out yesterday, Kerry’s obvious title is already taken — “American Gigolo.”

You’ll be surprised to learn that he plans to mention his service in Vietnam, not to mention a “deep behind-the-scenes” take on his years as secretary of state.

Finally, we will learn the answer to that question we’ve been pondering all these years. Does Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad prefer red or white wine with dinner?

A few suggested chapters: “Windsurfing for Dummies,” and “Me and My Pink Girly Bike.”

Self-help books have always done very well. Kerry should think along the lines of “You Too Can Marry an Heiress — or Two!” Or he could offer more prosaic tips — “You Can Fight City Hall — How I Got that Pesky Fire Plug Moved. . ."

[onyx]

Mrs. Heinz-Kerry will have to spend part of her first husband’s fortune to have Horseface Kerry’s book sell more than 10 copies.

[faithhopecharity]

the Three Stooges, but without the talent

[bigbob]

Haven’t priced fire starter lately but suspect we’ll have to wait til these hit the bargain bin to be cost-effective.

[easternsky]

NOT FONDA KERRY

[Diana in Wisconsin]

Here ya go, Bob. Step by step:

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Fire-Starters-with-Old-Puzzle-Books

*SMIRK*

I sell books as a sideline. Conservative authors keep their value; books by socialist authors lose their value the day after they hit the market.

[Diana in Wisconsin]

ByDavid M. Fickon September 26, 2016 Format: Hardcover|Verified Purchase I initially bought this as a gag joke for a rightwing friend. However, upon reading, I find it difficult to believe that ANYONE, even her friends, could allow a child to read this book. It is beyond Pravda-like propaganda. I have respect for my kids and hope for them becoming independent thinkers to put this anywhere that they'd find it. Complete garbage.

Bywafnamanon April 23, 2016 Format: Hardcover|Verified Purchase Political indoctrination at a grotesque level.

[Calvin Locke]

There's always “Un-American Gigolo.”

The real question for Mr. Carr is, "If a copy of JF'nK's book is in the swap section of the Wellesley dump, will you snag it?"

[Mears]

I wonder if Kerry will include,”How to get a Fire Hydrant Moved in 10 Easy Lessons”

Arrogant SOB.

.

[LongWayHome]

This book was going to be governor Kasich’s Magnum opus to be published right after Trump lost....except Trump won. So he’s now tossing it out there anyway. It will be in the buck-a-book store soon.

[Iron Munro]

These sweetheart book deals are nothing more than scams to transfer huge sums of stockholder money to favored political figures.

Sometimes to curry favor, directly or indirectly or as a payoff for favors already rendered.

It’s also a way to bypass campaign finance laws and feed money to office holders or office seekers without overtly breaking the law.

The publishing house execs get to big time it with stockholder money and get to treat the disguised donation as a business expense instead of as a gift or campaign donation.

Going into these deals the publishers know they aren’t going to recover their cost and authors’ outrageous advances.

Simon & Schuster gave Hillary Clinton a $14 million dollar advance for her 2014 book, “Hard Choices”.

So far that book has sold only about 250,000 copies and the publisher, actually the stockholders, take a loss of $10 million or so.

And a big part of sales for books like this are to organizations and corporations who purchase them in bulk to help bolster the sales numbers and then hand them out as gifts or to promotions.

[Iron Munro]

[TangoLimaSierra]

the Three Stooges, but without the talent

Or dignity.

[faithhopecharity]

ha!
indeed....
I’d much rather have had the 3 stooges as Sec of State and as Governor......
MUCH rather!
HilLIARy, KerryHero, and Kashich
three of the least credible, worst political hacks ever

[Sacajaweau]

Sold to schools and libraries....

[YogicCowboy]

Some Girls Are Born To Screed [as Scottish transitive verb].

[Diana in Wisconsin]

LOL!

[USFRIENDINVICTORIA]

Those points bear repeating — often.

[Gay State Conservative]

Mrs. Heinz-Kerry will have to spend part of her first husband’s fortune to have Horseface Kerry’s book sell more than 10 copies.

Of more immediate concern on *that* score...they say that the rich widow isn't in the best of health.So horseface had better start his hunt for the next multi millionaire (his first two wives were worth many,many millions).

[Graybeard58]

Think how many trees are going to die for … what?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Couple of pussy willows, at most.