Posted on 01/28/2019 5:57:40 PM PST by huckfillary
I recently posted the following meme and was asked to expand:
How to survive a narcissist: Reality is what it is. Not what the narcissist claims it is. Objectivity trumps toxic.
My point: Youre less subject to narcissists or other toxic people if youre confident and competent in the use of your own objective, reasoning mind.
Consider the narcissists in our government. They want us to believe we cannot exist without them. They want us to believe we are helpless, perpetually vulnerable people who cannot possibly cope without their stupid, economy-thrashing, initiative-killing, Constitution-bashing programs.
If youre confident in your mind, youre suspicious of such claims from the start. This person says I cant cope or live without him. Whats in this for him? Is it possible hes selling me a bill of goods?
I work with people in therapy all the time who have narcissistic or otherwise toxic people in their lives. When I point out the irrational, controlling or otherwise improper behavior of people in their lives, they are often surprised. Its because theyve been duped. Their failure to see this at least before now usually boils down to some version of the premise, Who am I to judge? Who am I to think?
Thats the mentality any narcissist counts on. The narcissist wants what he wants. We all do, and thats fine so far as it goes. But at the core, the narcissist doesnt want you to have your own wants, needs and desires. He just wants his own fulfilled. Hell lie about it, and pretend that hes really interested in only your wants and needs, when in fact hes really only interested in his own. The sin isnt in the fact he has self-interest. We all should have self-interest and self-preservation. The sin is in the fact that hes perpetrating a fraud, pretending to care about your interests and needs when he cares nothing about those at all.
A strong, objective sense of reality, facts and perspective prevents you from falling into the trap of a narcissist. A narcissist can be brilliant at creating a false narrative. You need me, and I am here to take care of you is the most common version of this narrative. The narrative could not get anywhere without self-doubt, on your own part, to keep it going.
Self-doubt is the fuel that gives the narcissist power. Without self-doubt on your part, the narcissists would wither away into nothing. What causes your self-doubt is your reluctance to look at facts and assert their relevance, even when those facts clash with the false narrative being spread by the narcissist.
Its not the presence of a self in people that causes narcissism. Its the absence of a self in YOU that gives the narcissists opportunity to be who they are. Fix your self-doubt, and strengthen your objectivity. It will help you keep narcissists at bay, as well as a lot of other toxic things in life.
The article doesn’t mention Trump.
It mentions narcissism and I never mentioned Trump. I was referring to 0bama the quiescent narcissist.
Indeed you were referring to Obama. You said so in your post.
Narcs feed on attention..positive attention but also negative attention..so don’t react to them.
They go to extremes to get attention.
Don’t sympathize and do not criticize them unless totally necessary.
Had to mention it because some folks thought I was talking about Trump.
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