Posted on 12/24/2022 3:25:24 AM PST by Jyotishi
My wife does this really well. The result is: no criticism, otherwise it turns into me, me, me, why are you so hostel?
Result: I never talk about anything of consequence. Rather pathetic isn’t it.
lol... I did... and that last child support payment was dead nuts on time!! I never looked back. deleted all her contact info, phones, e-mail, everything. she once tried calling on another line, and once I knew it was her after I said Hello, I just repeated “Well What about you? Well What about you?Well What about you?Well What about you?Well What about you?Well What about you?” ...until I heard a dial tone. havent heard from her since!! 4 years ago now!!
Dude. You’re totally misunderstanding the whole thing. And feeling the need to thump your chest on a thread like this shows you desperately need affirmation. Which makes you a PERFECT victim for gaslighting. Heck, you’re gaslighting yourself right now.
Now that is funny.
With all that strength and intelligence it would be nice to see you pair some sensitivity and empathy, CV.
Otherwise one might begin to consider you unnecessarily contemptuous of verbal abuse victims generally, and possibly specifically a verbal abuser yourself.
No actually it’s very sad. I pity you.
Save it.
well if she has a limit on her need to dominate, then seriously! Bless you for being a stronger man than I!! if zi didnt put my foot down as much as I did, I would be like some of them poor bastards ya see in the supermarket follwing their bossy wife around muttering yes dear!!
I remember clearly when it started with my ex!! back int the early 90s, as wee mingled at gathering she just had to touch people(Guys as they talked) It may have been TOTALLY innocent, but some guys would have taking that as an advance and made a move. And then guess who is gonna have to get into a fight?? On the way home all I said was hey... cant you stop touching and holding arms with mrfrs while were out? Immediatly!! Well what about you? yada yada yada...
I should have left her then but had 2 kids and decided to gut it out...
zi - I*
Yes, I see women engaging in this sort of behavior much more than men. The psychology crowd gaslights us even when they're talking about gaslighting. The irony ...
Truth: The US forces are at the doorstep of Bagdad but we are fighting to turn them back.
Propaganda: The US forces are being repelled and we will be victorious!
Gaslighting: The are no US forces any where near Bagdad and we have it under control. ( As a US M1A1 tank rolls by in the background )
“I never bought into it BECAUSE I AM NOT STUPID OR WEAK.”
I was surprised when working with these women that most were above normal in intelligence, and were generally not weak people. The manipulators who engage in gaslighting are experts in finding the small vulnerabilities in their victims.
I agree with you that IQ is not a defense against gaslighting.
The best defense is “street smarts”—an ability to detect a scam from minor clues—the “glitch in the matrix” stuff—because even the best sociopath/gaslighter makes minor errors now and then.
So you are suggesting lower IQ types can detect gaslighting the same or better than high IQ people?
Absolutely—Street smarts is often learned from the hard knocks of the streets while high IQ folks who are sheltered from sociopaths could be easy pickings when the moment comes.
That is an interesting suppositon but I am not buying it.
A good example is the vaccines.
While the “high educated” “high IQ” types rushed off to get vaxxed the “street smart” blacks and hispanics knew that whitey propaganda should never be trusted.
More on the vaxxes:
Just yesterday a high IQ highly educated relative told me her current case of Covid would be much worse if she had not taken the latest booster.
She has been gaslighted.
I am not sure the propaganda in the early days of COVID was technically gaslighting. While not all propaganda is gaslighting, all gaslighting is propaganda. If it were shown in a venn diagram it would look like this:
where A is gaslighting and B is propaganda.
I've noticed that young people do not even want to learn how to think, let alone think for themselves. Every ounce of energy is devoted to digital entertainment.
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