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BEST COFFEE MADE FROM MONKEY POO; CRAPPUCCINO
Drudge Report ^ | 11/21/01 | DAILY STAR

Posted on 11/21/2001 8:14:19 AM PST by jrherreid

BEST COFFEE MADE FROM MONKEY POO; CRAPPUCCINO
DAILY STAR
Wed Nov 21 2001 10:22:30 ET Coffee drinkers are going bananas over a brew that's made of MONKEY DUNG.

Brits are flooding exclusive US stockists with orders for the brew, called Kopi Luwak, made from berries that have passed through the digestive system of Indonesian monkeys. Unlucky coffee plantation staff have to search through the dung to gather the bizarre "harvest" of coffee berries, which are said to emerge virtually intact.

Experts reckon the monkey business gives the drink a unique "earthy" taste, which has made it the most expensive and sought-after coffee in the world.

It is in such short supply - just 500 lb of it is harvested a year - that it is virtually impossible to get hold of in Britain and has only limited availability in the States and Japan.

Experts say the brew first came to light hundreds of years ago, when explorers sampled it on the Indonesian isles of Java, Sumatra and Sulawesi.

The monkey - known as the Palm Toddy Cat - lives on a diet of alcoholic tree sap and coffee berries.

US-based food and drink critic Chris Rubin said:

"Whether it's because the intestinal juices give some special flavour or because it eats only perfectly ripe berries, the Toddy Cat's droppings produce what many say is the world's finest coffee."

Some exclusive US outlets sell Kopi Luwak for around a FIVER a cup.

US Coffee supplier Mark Mountanos has snapped up 110 lb of the beans.

He said: "We've had interest from all over the world because it is very hard to get hold of."

US coffee shop owner Richard Karno ordered a pound from Mark's firm - but only after he convinced him it wasn't a joke.

He said: "It's the best coffee I've ever tasted. It smells musty, but it roasts up real nice."

END



TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
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Insert appropriate monkey jokes here.
1 posted on 11/21/2001 8:14:19 AM PST by jrherreid
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To: dighton; Orual; sirgawain; Darth Sidious; Lazamataz; one_particular_harbour; Texaggie79

Ping

2 posted on 11/21/2001 8:16:41 AM PST by jrherreid
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To: jrherreid
It smells musty, but it roasts up real nice."

Rump roast.
3 posted on 11/21/2001 8:17:45 AM PST by eastsider
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To: jrherreid
Dude... There's corn specks in mine... That's not cool...
4 posted on 11/21/2001 8:19:56 AM PST by maxwell
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To: jrherreid
Palm Toddy is a cat not a monkey. No sh*&.


5 posted on 11/21/2001 8:21:26 AM PST by Diogenesis
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To: jrherreid
The Toddy Cat is not a monkey at all!

It's a Civet.

One of those funny little cat-looking things with the long necks and kinda stripes and spots.

It could not be farther from a monkey!

Sugar, Cream or litter box?

6 posted on 11/21/2001 8:21:47 AM PST by Cogadh na Sith
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To: jrherreid
Monkey see, monkey doo-doo.

Best I could come up with on short notice.

7 posted on 11/21/2001 8:22:21 AM PST by TrappedInLiberalHell
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To: jrherreid; dighton
The Palm Toddy Cat Monkey:

Good to the last dropping. (Wish I had thought of that.)

8 posted on 11/21/2001 8:22:48 AM PST by Orual
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To: Diogenesis
Drudge misinformed me! I'll sue!

Or maybe the coffee is made from Blumenthal's opinions.

9 posted on 11/21/2001 8:22:53 AM PST by jrherreid
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To: Diogenesis
Civet squeezin's bump
10 posted on 11/21/2001 8:22:58 AM PST by Cogadh na Sith
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To: chookter
Man, I was hoping it was a monkey. Monkeys and apes are comic gold! Cats, not so much.
11 posted on 11/21/2001 8:23:54 AM PST by Skywalk
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To: jrherreid
Our coffee club at work should charge more. The coffee has tasted like crap for years.
12 posted on 11/21/2001 8:24:17 AM PST by Harrison Bergeron
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To: TrappedInLiberalHell
Slow News week....sigh....
13 posted on 11/21/2001 8:24:37 AM PST by Loopy
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To: jrherreid
This is a disturbing trend. Will Starbucks start offering this kind of rather expensive "crappacino"? Wait... an image came to mind... I will get back to you all, should be funny. Look for it later...
14 posted on 11/21/2001 8:26:07 AM PST by Richard Axtell
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To: Harrison Bergeron
"I'll take two regulars, no sugar and a little dung, please."
15 posted on 11/21/2001 8:26:25 AM PST by ZeitgeistSurfer
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To: jrherreid
"Mocha Butte"
16 posted on 11/21/2001 8:26:47 AM PST by Wolfie
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To: Wolfie
Britany Spears Mountain Blend: Consider the possibilities
17 posted on 11/21/2001 8:27:59 AM PST by ZeitgeistSurfer
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Comment #18 Removed by Moderator

To: Skywalk
Monkeys and apes are comic gold!

Cat sh*t is kinda funny, but not as funny as monkey poo.

19 posted on 11/21/2001 8:29:03 AM PST by Cogadh na Sith
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To: Revolting cat!
Here kitty kitty...
20 posted on 11/21/2001 8:30:07 AM PST by Cogadh na Sith
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To: ZeitgeistSurfer
In that case, make mine a Grande!!
21 posted on 11/21/2001 8:32:05 AM PST by Delbert
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To: jrherreid
Dave Barry wrote about this ... um ... stuff ... a few years ago; I thought for sure this time he was making it up. So I looked on the WWWeb. Altavista. Advanced Search. coffee AND luwak. No, he was not making it up. I believe the critter in question (the Luwak) is a marsupial, ie more closely related to 'possums than cats, much less monkeys.

AB

22 posted on 11/21/2001 8:32:23 AM PST by ArrogantBustard
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To: jrherreid
they say it has a "s***y" taste!
23 posted on 11/21/2001 8:32:24 AM PST by dvan
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To: Skywalk
Did you know that civet musk-gland squeezin's are used as an ingredient in many high-priced perfumes.

You can tell your lady: "Hey, you smell just like the ass of a civet--My little kitten..."

Civets are a very useful and underappreciated animal.

24 posted on 11/21/2001 8:33:42 AM PST by Cogadh na Sith
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To: dvan
reminds me of the scene in austin powers 2 where he drinks the "coffee" and says it tastes nutty.
25 posted on 11/21/2001 8:33:45 AM PST by Delbert
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To: jrherreid
How Swift would have loved it.
26 posted on 11/21/2001 8:34:17 AM PST by dighton
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To: Diogenesis

Come to think of it, maybe I prefer the monkey variety.

27 posted on 11/21/2001 8:34:20 AM PST by jrherreid
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To: jrherreid
Gross. Why impose health food laws at all?
28 posted on 11/21/2001 8:37:36 AM PST by lavaroise
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To: jrherreid
click me . . .

or me . . .

or even me . . .

what about me?

don't forget about me!

had enough yet?

and last but not least, me
29 posted on 11/21/2001 8:37:46 AM PST by Xenalyte
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To: jrherreid
Actually this coffee has been around for a few years now ... and Drudge is just finding out?
30 posted on 11/21/2001 8:37:53 AM PST by BunnySlippers
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To: chookter
Nothing smells as bad as cat crap!
31 posted on 11/21/2001 8:39:09 AM PST by dvan
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To: jrherreid
Just think of the possibilities!

Feed coffee beans to celebrities, politicians, etc., to make special "limited editition" coffees!

Just imagine what a pound of Bill Clinton Poop Cafe would go for. I want the concession at the Democratic National Convention!

32 posted on 11/21/2001 8:39:22 AM PST by Crusher138
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To: pmgoeri
I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd like to get ahold of some of that alcoholic tree sap.

No kidding! This thing lives off alcohol and coffee? That sounds familiar!
33 posted on 11/21/2001 8:39:23 AM PST by scalia_#1
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To: dighton
I wonder what he would have called our land. Let's revise Gulliver a bit and add this in.
34 posted on 11/21/2001 8:40:28 AM PST by jrherreid
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To: jrherreid
"Bowel Roasted Coffee" collected by Juan Valdez who was really a monkey in disguise. .
35 posted on 11/21/2001 8:41:32 AM PST by tberry
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To: jrherreid
Hey, this could be a new job opportunity. I could down a six-pack, pop a few berries and...ah...drop them out for a good price. (Gosh, that was gross...made me sound like a guy, did't it...;^)
36 posted on 11/21/2001 8:43:08 AM PST by BlueHorseShoe
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To: chookter
that's a good one, one that'll result in me not getting any, I'm sure!

I stand by my love of apes as a comic device.

"Lisa:Why don't you use your power and influence to help people?

Homer:Well, I could get a bunch of monkeys and have 'em re-enact the Battle of Gettysburg!

Lisa:How's that going to help anyone?!

Homer:Well, it couldn't hurt...unless the monkeys started hurting people...which they almost certainly would.

37 posted on 11/21/2001 8:44:21 AM PST by Skywalk
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To: jrherreid
I cannot imagine what possessed the first person who, while walking through the jungle, saw some animal sh*t and then decided to dig out the coffee beans, roast them, and then brew them. What ever were they thinking?
38 posted on 11/21/2001 8:48:05 AM PST by Non-Sequitur
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To: pmgoeri
I've sampled palm toddy in Burma (Myanmar). It is harvested in clay pots by people who shinny up the palm trees, slice a frond, and let the white sap drip into the pot. It ferments naturally and looks sort of like foamy egg white. Also, it is not the most sanitary process and in my particular case resulted in a severe case of diahrea and cramps. My advice is to stick with beer.
39 posted on 11/21/2001 8:48:49 AM PST by SpaceBar
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To: tberry
Talk about a mountain of the "richest kind".....
40 posted on 11/21/2001 8:49:21 AM PST by duckbutt
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To: jrherreid
This brew really compliments a breakfast of cow patties and horse bisquits, no sh*t.
41 posted on 11/21/2001 8:54:42 AM PST by F.J. Mitchell
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To: Non-Sequitur
saw some animal sh*t and then decided to dig out the coffee beans, roast them, and then brew them. What ever were they thinking?

If there was no other means of getting coffee in the morning, I would not hesitate to do this.

42 posted on 11/21/2001 8:56:04 AM PST by Cogadh na Sith
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To: jrherreid
Considering the rarity, and what a coffee "coup" it must be to obtain it, could it accurately be called a:

Cat Ass Trophy?

43 posted on 11/21/2001 8:56:45 AM PST by Treebeard
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To: Non-Sequitur
# 38: It was probably just some dip sh*t.
44 posted on 11/21/2001 8:58:45 AM PST by F.J. Mitchell
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To: jrherreid
The article says that this is the most expensive coffee sold, but I have found some (samples at least) for free, I think... check it out.
Free Monkey Coffee
From Kenya, my favorite!
45 posted on 11/21/2001 8:58:45 AM PST by Richard Axtell
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To: Skywalk
Homer:Well, it couldn't hurt...unless the monkeys started hurting people...which they almost certainly would.

Do you have any idea just how many times the Simpsons have mined the comedic monkey vein? I could go on for DAYS.

wonderful monkey page

————————

Bart: How would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey-type creature?

Mrs. Krabappel: I'm sorry - that would be playing God.

Bart: God, schmod. I want my monkey man!
46 posted on 11/21/2001 8:59:18 AM PST by Xenalyte
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To: Richard Axtell
Now go drink that doodoo that you do so well.
47 posted on 11/21/2001 9:03:26 AM PST by IRBlondie
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To: chookter
Tomorrow's headline today:

Brit Johnnys Ordure Cuppa Poopah in Thunder Mugs!


48 posted on 11/21/2001 9:03:33 AM PST by Revolting cat!
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To: Xenalyte
Xenalyte

I am forever in your debt. How can I repay you? A drink at the local tavern, perhaps? Unless you're a guy, then you'll buy your own damn beer.

49 posted on 11/21/2001 9:05:04 AM PST by Skywalk
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To: jrherreid
I'll have to start feeding my kids those berries, I'm sure people will never know the difference. "Here's you're 500lbs of monkey poo I promised I'd deliver Sir" Yummy
50 posted on 11/21/2001 9:10:47 AM PST by keepinitreal
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