If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today? (Lawyer Needs Freeper Help)

JD86 | 12/06/01 | JD86

[JD86]

If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today? (Lawyer Needs Freeper Help)

I'm an attorney who helps clients with estate planning and other money matters, but I won't claim that I "know it all". I need Freeper advice.

I once had an elderly client who always told his family "When I die, everything you need is in the manila folder". When he died, we searched high and low but we never did find that folder. As a result, it took years to settle his estate.

That shouldn't happen. I am putting together a booklet for my clients - a checklist of sorts - to help them keep track of important family information.

I'm asking for your suggestions. What would you include in such a checklist?

First - the practical. Doctor's name, where's the will, your desires regarding any minor children ... what else?

Second - the emotional. Would you tell your children you are proud of them? To stop smoking? Dump their lousy mate? What else?

Is there anything you would change about what your parents did? Have you made a checklist yet? If so, what's on it?

Also, if you are incapacitated but don't die, what then?

I have a client who has all her medications listed and taped to the inside of her kitchen cabinet and all her family knows where to find it. Do you have any other ideas like that?

Thanks to all in advance for your suggestions. Please post or send me FreeperMail.

[JD86]

Thanks for talking about the tax consequences of some of these issues. Also, with the new tax law there are some decisions that must be made before December 31, 2001, especially about IRA distributions. I would encourage anyone in that situation to talk to your CPA as soon as possible. Otherwise, you might lose some options 1/1/2002.

Disclaimer: I do not give tax advice...expecially over the internet...:)

[Lucky]

Well, I thought I had a real good system here and I get this answer from the lawyer! Of course, they can open the safe! They are in their 30's. Not funny.

[Snow Bunny]

I have collected things, like Teddybears that are Steiff and others things of great value, I made a list of my collections and listed with pictures what I paid for each item, the date purchased and information about it. Also places to contact if I die and they would rather have money for these items. Like contacting Sotheby's etc.

Then I hand wrote letters to each person , friend or family that I want to inherit which piece in my collections. so NO fighting later.LOL

Sometimes I give one early like a marriage of a friend or neice.But letting them know ahead of time who gets a music box, who gets a doll, who gets a bear etc. They can't argue later over who gets what.

Too many times family is love dovey when a person is alive and when a person dies, the rest of the family turns into vultures.It shocks me.

The reason I would list the value of treasures is because some people do not understand a Teddybear for instance, can be worth thousands of dollars, and many times bears valued at $ 10,000 and more are seen in garage sales for one dollar.

List valuable china, sliverware, paintings, etc. It sounds like a store, but better for those inheriting to know the value they are getting then to trash valuables and not realize their worth.If they need money they can always sell them and not at a garage sale.

[JD86]

Thanks for sharing your experience with your Mother. Those are issues most of us wouldn't think about until we had to deal with it.

[Hildy]

This is a great idea. I will email you privately. My wonderful father did everything for me before he died. I knew where everything was, what his wishes were, who to contact, and he set up A B trusts so we didn't have to pay alot of taxes.

When we went to New York last week, my husband and I went crazy at the last minute getting all our paperwork together so someone could figure our mess out if something had happened to us. I've been through two big Estate deals and they are alot of work. It's so much easier if everything is spelled out. I do have a suggestion for your book: As morbid as this sounds, one of the hardest things for me was what to put on my Dad's headstone. He was a writer, and I know he would have thought of something great! Whenever I go to the cemetary, the best things are what people chose to put on their headstone. Next to my Dad's someone wrote this:

"THERE WAS A TIME I DID NOT EXIST
NOW ONCE AGAIN I'VE BEEN DISMISSED
THERE'S MUCH TO SAY, BUT HERE'S THE GIST,
I'M REALLY, REALLY, TRULY PISSED."

Now, you know what kind of person that guy was!

[WillaJohns]

Check out this book: "The Beneficiary Book," by Martin Kuritz, John S. Sampson, David J. Sanchez, Viking, Published by the Penguin Group, ISBN 0-670-86716-0.

It's a three-ring binder with nine sections: (1) Important Personal Information; (2) Information about your family's Medical History; (3) Information about Your Final Arrangements; (4) Information about Your Estate; (5) Information about your Finances; (6) Information about Your Investments; (7) Information about your Personal Possessions; (8) Information about your Business;; and (9) Some other Questions, Answers and Thoughts.

The last section mentions "Don't forget your Pets." Also, don't forget to indicate idiocyncracies about your house, where the gas, water and electric meters are located and how to shut them off in an emergency.

It's a fill-in-the blanks type of book and I've never seen anything better. The introduction mentions: "What's important about this book is that it provides "now" answers in time of need. Loved ones will not have to guess at questions such as: "how would you like to be remembered?" "Who owes you money?" "How often do you change the oil in the car. Even "Who gets our golf clubs?"

The Beneficiary Book also offers living benefits. There are a variety of inventory lists in the book that identify and detail your personal property by its physical description, date of purchase, serial number and value. Several victims of natural disasters mentioned that these lists helped expedite their insurance claims. Many others have reported that having all their "stuff" centrally recorded generated peace of mind for themselves and their families. That's what The Beneficiary Book is about, peace of mind generated by an act of kindness.

[nopardons]

To " pull the plug " is called " A LIVING WILL " and is something VERY important to add to your Will, IF it is your wish. It MUST be in writing, as is the case with organ donations. NO ONE will take the word of a relative or friend, so get it ALL in writing ! If it isn't, even IF the family IS in favor of NO impossible methods to keep someone alive, a stranger CAN and HAS stepped in and sued the family, as a friend of the something ; I've forgotten the legal term. SORRY

[JD86]

That's a great point....and anyone who is making a list after this thread....Make Sure Your Family Knows Where The List Is Kept!!

[Lucky]

No

[annieokie]

ROFL. My thoughts exactly. Where do we send the bill?

[Twins613]

Scariest thread I've ever seen on Free Republic.

I think JD would be the first to tell you that you should seek out the advice of a competent attorney when you're planning these things -- not to take some of these posts as gospel. She's merely asking that people relate some things that they have come across in their personal experience.

With that caveat, this thread is fine. Or, better yet, I could stand aside and let JD say that herself :)

[LikeLight]

In my state, the safe deposit box contents cannot be removed until an inventory is completed via the state authorities, for inheritance tax documentation purposes (i.e. whatever was in the box must be accounted for on the death tax return). Perhaps this was not the intention of the poster who suggested cleaning out the box, but from my experience, that's exactly what some clients are thinking - if we can get our hands on this stuff, "no one ever has to know about it". Which is exactly why the state requires the inventory, to stop inheritance tax evasion.

[Texbill]

JD86--I haven't read thru the posts, but here is someting which I think you may use.

USAA (United Service Automobilr Association) out of San Antonio and also The Reserve Officers Association have very complete checklists concerning your request. The main item which is pounded in is the compilaton of a "Death Box", using just such a list as you are suggesting. Mine is in a briefcase, which has been shown to my wife & children. All the data needed, including location of valuable documents, and the check list are in that "box". Suggest you check out USAA or TROA for complete lists. After all, they deal with service members, who are apt to die without notice.

Regards, Texbill

[RedBloodedAmerican]

I have bonds :)

[JD86]

You have made some very valid points. So let me add some disclaimers to your comments.

LikeLight is correct that some of the information that has been posted is incorrect or at least inappropriate. I strongly encourage everyone to take the idea of getting your estate in order and talk to your attorney, your CPA and your financial advisor. I personally think everyone should have one of each. The financial advisor can help you make money. Your CPA can help you reduce taxes and keep your money and your attorney can help you pass your estate on to the people you want to have it.

Let me use the example of multiple names on a financial account. This might be a good idea for you, it might not. It might not even be legal in your state. One poster pointed out that if your child is on an account with you and the child gets sued (think 19 year old in a car accident), your entire account could be lost.

Although I appreciate the enthusiasm and all the suggestions....let's back up a little and not try to practice estate planning online. Most of us are not qualified to do so.

Let's talk about the list of what your family needs to know, rather than advise other freepers to do something that might not be in their best interests.

My advice to all....use these ideas to ask your personal professionals for answers. DO NOT RELY on the answers posted here. A little information can be a very dangerous thing.

[VA Advogado]

Perhaps this was not the intention of the poster who suggested cleaning out the box

The context here has strictly been access to documents. I apreciate your more civil response. JD is providing a good "thinking" moment here. I dont think attacks are needed.

[zip]

Well, I thought I had a real good system here and I get this answer from the lawyer! Of course, they can open the safe! They are in their 30's. Not funny.

Lighten up. My comment and I believe JD86's comment were made lightly. However, there are many people out there that won't share the combination with anyone so they won't lose anything.

[JD86]

Check with your CPA for tax advice.

[tubebender]

You are right about the stepup in value vis a vis the new tax laws. That little puppy right there could cost your heirs big money and it needs to be changed soon.REAL SOON!

[Texbill]

JD86--I haven't read thru the posts, but here is someting which I think you may use.

USAA (United Service Automobilr Association) out of San Antonio and also The Reserve Officers Association have very complete checklists concerning your request. The main item which is pounded in is the compilaton of a "Death Box", using just such a list as you are suggesting. Mine is in a briefcase, which has been shown to my wife & children. All the data needed, including location of valuable documents, and the check list are in that "box". Suggest you check out USAA or TROA for complete lists. lAfter all, they deal with service members, who are apt to die without notice.

Regards, Texbill