Where I've taken the latest 35mm film to be developed...
Where I keep the safe deposit box key...
One thing I have found is that people need to write down "I want so and so to have XYZ"- there are a lot of personal things people don't put in their will but are thinking in the back of their head "Hmm when I go I want Jenny to have that opal ring my grandma gave me" and they never tell Jenny about it. I realize that it won't be actionable if it's not in the will or codicil, but still convenient for all family members, even those that get along. An item from Grandma is going to mean more if you knew she wanted you to have it. And it can help stop a fight.
If not in the will, or even additional to the will, there should be a clear specification of every bank account, stock portfolio, retirement/pension fund (including the govt ones, like military or veterans benefits), safe deposit box, storage locker, boat at the marina, cabin in the mountains, burial plot (including deeds in his possession of burial plots for ancestors and other relatives), insurance policies, and other important caches and documents (and keys). A list also of whatever in the house that he didn't own but leased or rented (e.g., my parents didn't own their clothes dryer ... it was leased from the gas company), so it's not sold or given away by mistake.
The will is frequently not read, or at least not read closely, until days after the death. So burial plans (including info on any prepaid funeral plans or burial plots), funeral plans, etc. should be a separate document ... readily available to the nearest family (presumably among the deceased's immediate possessions when he dies); this is a different situation than the will or financial data, as it is uncommon for funeral plans to be fudged by greedy relatives. Any directions for organ donations should be even more immediately available as the organs must be harvested (god how I hate that expression) immediately upon death. Also a list of people to be notified - this list should also be readily accessible, and should include full name, address, phone numbers, and maybe even a notation of how they are connected to the decedent (it might be a non-relative, even a total stranger, having to call family members and tell them about the death, funeral, or inheritance). I also recommend including the address and phone number in bequests in the will, to facilitate things even though those details might change over the years.
It's important to make sure that a number of trustworthy people, and not only relatives, but the lawyer, accountant, etc., know something ... at least where the will and the other documents are to be found. Unfortunately too many people either don't tell someone, or tell one person who turns out to be unavailable (or old/sick/senile) at the time of their death.
Although it might not be part of the legal work, it might be nice if a person contemplating his/her death wrote out or at least taped - while their handwriting was still legible and their minds still lucid - some family history, maybe some details about heirlooms and prized possessions, and some biographical data. Also mark up the photos in the photo album with all the info about who/when/where. When my mother died, I realized that I knew almost zero about her father, nor the birthdates/places of either of her parents or anything about their ancestors, nor whether there were any relatives on her father's side anywhere in the world; and, of course, it is now absolutely impossible to get those answers.
Good luck.
1) every bank account she owned with identifying data;
2)every insurance policy she owned;
3)location of her will, house title, car title and boat title;
4)every health insurance card she owned (photocopies work fine);
5) list or location of any other assets, such as stocks, bonds, etc.;
6) location of checkbook;
7)location of recent bill stubs (invaluable to change address to have bills sent to administrator's house, or to cancel unnecessary services);
8)list of names and phone numbers of whom to call;
9) list of specific bequests (helpful even if informal); and
10)names and locations of preferred physicians and hospitals.
While she was healthy she signed a Power-of Attorney, a Living Will and Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. The Power-of-Attorney was especially helpful to allow me to pay her bills while she was too ill to deal with such things, and made my transition to executrix easier after her death. I already knew what I needed to know by then. We also pre-arrainged her funeral while she was alive, together. I'm so glad we did.
Possibly burial or funeral home arrangements and detailed instructions if property is to be distributed to children in case the spouse has also died.
That's about all I remember for now. Maybe I will remember some other things as I read the thread.
I know I would not have lived through this time in my life without the help of many family and friends.
One thing I had never thought of before--during the funeral proceedings--have someone at the house--sometimes burglars will take advantage of the public funeral notice and burlarize a residence. Also ask for help in answering the phone. Keep a phone log.
Salvation
I'd give them contacts at my workplace for questions regarding pensions, due bonuses, etc. I'd give specific recommendations regarding insurance for the rest of the family and why (and again, contact names and numbers). I'd give them some long-term financial advice. I'd leave very specific requests for my funeral arrangements.
I'd also tell them not to grieve too long, for I've gone Home to be with the Lord........and I'll await their joining me there. I would want them to know that they were the reason that I lived; the reason I pressed on; the reason I went through thick and thin, challenge, defeat, heartache...............all for them, and gladly. They made my life complete, and without them.........my life would have been empty. I would thank them for being the most wonderful gifts a man could possibly receive, and I only regret that I left too soon.
I also have 3 envelopes that contain my photo, my blood type, a copy of my dental records and xrays, hair samples and fingernail samples. It also contains all the contact numbers that the police or medical examiner will need to reach my family and employment. I want to make it easy on people if they need to identify my body. It might sound morbid, but it's very practical.
1. Account numbers and passwords for any and all online brokerage accounts.
2. Parents who have minor children must express their wishes, should both parents die, of who should become their children's guardians. Just imagine the grief if the courts need to decide this or if there are relatives who you do not want to have raise your children in the event of your death.
3. In the event of death of both parents, there should be a third party, probably an attorney, who has all of information noted on this thread, i.e, brokerage accounts, passwords, location of will etc.
When we went to New York last week, my husband and I went crazy at the last minute getting all our paperwork together so someone could figure our mess out if something had happened to us. I've been through two big Estate deals and they are alot of work. It's so much easier if everything is spelled out. I do have a suggestion for your book: As morbid as this sounds, one of the hardest things for me was what to put on my Dad's headstone. He was a writer, and I know he would have thought of something great! Whenever I go to the cemetary, the best things are what people chose to put on their headstone. Next to my Dad's someone wrote this:
"THERE WAS A TIME I DID NOT EXIST
NOW ONCE AGAIN I'VE BEEN DISMISSED
THERE'S MUCH TO SAY, BUT HERE'S THE GIST,
I'M REALLY, REALLY, TRULY PISSED."
Now, you know what kind of person that guy was!
It's a three-ring binder with nine sections: (1) Important Personal Information; (2) Information about your family's Medical History; (3) Information about Your Final Arrangements; (4) Information about Your Estate; (5) Information about your Finances; (6) Information about Your Investments; (7) Information about your Personal Possessions; (8) Information about your Business;; and (9) Some other Questions, Answers and Thoughts.
The last section mentions "Don't forget your Pets." Also, don't forget to indicate idiocyncracies about your house, where the gas, water and electric meters are located and how to shut them off in an emergency.
It's a fill-in-the blanks type of book and I've never seen anything better. The introduction mentions: "What's important about this book is that it provides "now" answers in time of need. Loved ones will not have to guess at questions such as: "how would you like to be remembered?" "Who owes you money?" "How often do you change the oil in the car. Even "Who gets our golf clubs?"
The Beneficiary Book also offers living benefits. There are a variety of inventory lists in the book that identify and detail your personal property by its physical description, date of purchase, serial number and value. Several victims of natural disasters mentioned that these lists helped expedite their insurance claims. Many others have reported that having all their "stuff" centrally recorded generated peace of mind for themselves and their families. That's what The Beneficiary Book is about, peace of mind generated by an act of kindness.
USAA (United Service Automobilr Association) out of San Antonio and also The Reserve Officers Association have very complete checklists concerning your request. The main item which is pounded in is the compilaton of a "Death Box", using just such a list as you are suggesting. Mine is in a briefcase, which has been shown to my wife & children. All the data needed, including location of valuable documents, and the check list are in that "box". Suggest you check out USAA or TROA for complete lists. After all, they deal with service members, who are apt to die without notice.
Regards, Texbill