Replies

No nagging about the laundry or the dishes or the bills or the porn or the remote control or the radio station or the clothes or Who Was Using That Tone Of Voice or the month-old bath-tub scum or the beer bottles and cigarette ash all over the floor or NOTHIN'!

In other words, for better or worse, you get to be who you are instead of what the other person wants you to be. Woo hoo!

I love being able to call "the guys" and going out to do manly stuff without being griped at for tracking up the floor with my muddy boots when I get home or the dirt stains that won't come out of my jeans.

I love being able to stay up until the wee hours of the night, laying in bed and watching TV without having to "keep it down".

I love not having sissy stuff in my bathroom. One bar of soap, one bottle of shampoo and no conditioner, loofah, moisturizer, baby oil, razors, etc. in my shower. One can of shaving cream, one razor, one stick of deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste and floss in my sink caddy -- no Oil of Olay, no facial soap, no bottles of mascara, no compacts, and for DAMN sure, none of those little "eyelash bender" thingies! What's up with those? Are we that vain?

No "themes" in the house; no dolphins, no sunflowers, no teddy bears, no hearts, no ruffles, no lace, no pictures of poorly drawn cartoonish farm animals, no "country cottages", no wallpaper with roosters, no stupid "inspirational" pictures of an ocean cliff with the word "Determination" under it, no doilies, and no, "What do you think this room would look like painted fuschia?" (What IS fuschia, anyway?).

No tofu, no wheat grass, no lowfat hotdogs, no diet cola, no wine coolers, no sherbet instead of ice cream, no "cooking spray" instead of sweet creamery butter, no oatmeal, no meatless chili, no Nutrasweet, and no cheap cuts of steak.

And, no gripes about: the socks I left on the coffee table, the layer of dust slowly building on the TV screen, the way the furniture's arranged (any other way and the surround sound just doesn't work), how my friends don't like her so she's not going be around them anymore, how my family doesn't like her so she's not going to be around them anymore, the coffee I dripped on the kitchen floor which I plan to clean up "when I get a chance", the dog's hair, the cat's hair, the plate I left on the end table, my choice of a beer, chicken noodle soup and Funyuns for dinner, the place smelling like smoke all the time, how late I got home, how I never spend time with her, how she never has time for herself, my female friend whom I talk to on the phone once a year calling me, and those charges on the satellite bill for a movie called, "O Brothel, Where Art Thou?" which does NOT star George Clooney.

Yep. The single life is pretty sweet. Sorry about the rant, but I was on a roll.

LMAO! You use a loofah??! Dude, that's girly! I just rub a bar of soap up and down a couple times!

Just kidding... I dig your style. Except for categorically condemning the tofu and diet stuff. Miso soup is some of the best sh!t on God's Green Earth, and if it weren't for that nonfat crap I'd be too obese to move by now... (I got me one a them slow metabolisms.)

Actually I am kinda sorta in one a them long-distance relationships where you call the ol' ball-'n'-chain in Texas once a day or something... (Not quite sure how that happened. I was pretty drunk.) So I do get yelled at over the phone when I come home trashed, and I am aware that my days of hanging at the bars with the boys are numbered... [sigh] But I'm free for now, muhahaha...