THE SOUTH - LIKE IT OR WE'LL KICK YOUR A$$!

via email | Jan. 12, 2002 | Unknown

[1 FELLOW FREEPER]

Ah thank ol lowbridge is full er it. Ahn rael lahf, dat boy be daid !!

[jslade]

revelent=relevent

[jslade]

You know, I actually know what you said.

[sweetliberty]

Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood, one from Georgia, the other from Alabama, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white pillared mansion.

The Georgia peach said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me."

The lady from Alabama commented. "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac you see parked in the drive."

Again, the belle from Alabama commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman boasted, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.

"Yet again, the second of the ladies commented, Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Alabama belle.

"Charm school, the first woman cried, "Land sakes," child, what on Earth for?"

The Alabamian responded, "So that instead of saying "Who gives a s**t?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that nice?"

[dstarr]

I haven't found sweet tea further west than Missouri. Also, don't go to FL and try to get any unless you are at a Cracker Barrell. You might find a few places down there that serve sweet tea but they are few and far between. I guess there are too many northerners in FL.

[jslade]

Again. relevent=relevant

[nopardons]

Same to YOU ; in spades, dear. : - )

[lowbridge]

Hey Low. We're not talking Cool Whip here. We're talking WHUP ASS! Big difference.

I say Toe-May-Toe, and you say "Get that dern uglee red vegie offa muh plate, y'all."

Of course, up North, Cool Whip might be revelent.

Well, I got a bucketfull of Cool Whip in my fridge right now. Goes good with ice cream. :-)

[jslade]

You are on a roll.

[JoeSixPack1]

They don't have a clue on bagels, the pizza flat out sucks, even the chinese foods tastes like cardboard, the chicken wings are ok, the ribs ? from Sonny's to Bono's To Dales to Leroys smoke trailer next to the Texaco station, they're still trying new stuff. It took 27 years for chestnuts to show up at the supermarkets on Thanksgiving but turkeys are sometimes as cheap as $0.16 per pound. Winn Dixie and Piggly Wiggly think they know how to make an antipasto salad and no you don't just chop up a bunch of cold cut butt-ends and soak em garlic and oil, SIDEWALKS ----- GET A CLUE ------- PEOPLE WALK ON SIDEWALK!! BUILD SOME! And if you could roll up the streets at 8:15pm, WHY bother leaving the traffic lights on???? December thru February is snow-bird hell and yes, we do have enough self-serve car wash bays and it looks like we might have enough strip malls where everyone gets one.

But my taxes are way less and I can ride my Harley 12 months out of the year.
When I cook A pig I can throw him in my barrel/drum smoker w/side firebox and feed it ORANGE WOOD. And YES, it is legal to drive barefoot, thanks. Aligator tastes like -- ALLIGATOR! Catfish is best served cooked. Biscuits and gravy does come with sausage!

DJEEETYET is a request for information!
DJEEETYET = Did you Eat yet?

[jslade]

Loved the rant.

[JoeSixPack1]

eheheh sorry, was just ranting..:-)

[JoeSixPack1]

um,, yeah! :-)

[Glenn]

The South seems to have this group inferiority complex about that ass-whupping they received in the 1800's. Maybe they need therapy or a hug.

[JoeSixPack1]

Do Yankees have "John-Boy and Billy-BIG's Grillin' Sauce"?

[Chapita]

If our tea was too sweet, Uncle John knew we had been messin' around the still!

[Sawdring]

Did you hear that all across the South they are raising the legal age to buy liquor to 32? They are trying to keep alcohol out of the highschools.

[CFW]

I have a cousin named Dennie. Hope it is not the same one. LOL.

I once blacklisted a lawyer because he made fun of me for saying 'fixin to'...as in "I'm fixin' to go to lunch, be back in an hour".

He was a new guy in our firm, I left there a couple of months later, and put him on my "never refer anyone to list" simply because of that. LOL

[sweetliberty]

I have another joke that I think is really funny, but it is just politically incorrect and racially suggestive enough to cause a ruckus so I'd better not post it. If anyone would like it, let me know via FReepmail and I will sen it to you.

[KsSunflower]

LOL...this all is true! We're from Kansas and live here again, but spent 2 years in Stone Mountain and Snellville..Atlanta suburbs.

I couldn't wait to come home. I was sick of being called a yankee, sick of the jokes about people from the north, sick of hearing about the south rising again, sick of seeing bumper stickers that said, "American by birth..Southern by the grace of God", sick of hearing stories like one from a mother on my son's ball team where she was living in Chicago and came home so her child wouldn't have a norther state on its birth certificate.....I could go on and on!!!

It is freakin' ridiculous!...as I said to them, "We won the stinkin' war and don't sit around talking about it!"

Apparently they have an exaggerated sense of importance because the people in the north could care less about the Mason-Dixon line...get over it!