[Mr. Bungle]

While we're at it, let's treat the First Amendment like the Second:

• Political ads must be read at a rate no more than 1 word per second. Speed readers and fast talkers (referred to as fully automatic) will hereby be prohibited from engaging in civilian political speech. They will be reserved for government and law enforcement use only.

• 'High-capacity' words that might mean a lot, like 'epistemology', 'Constitution' or 'macroeconomics' will be prohibited from political speech. No word used in a political advertisement by a civilian may contain more than 10 letters. Words and ideas such 'racism', 'hate', 'Enron' and 'Marxism' fall under the capacity limit, and are thus permissible for civilian use.

• Words and phrases describing entities, such that can be described by acronyms, thus collapsable and easy to conceal, will be prohibited from use in civilian political speech. These include acronyms such as CFR, GAO, FBI, IRS, DEA, CIA, ATF, POTUS, FLOTUS, SCOTUS, and BOHICA. Words that can apply to a large group with a single usage must not be manually truncated below a certain length. "Sawed-off" words such "gub'mint", "libs", and "pols" will be prohibited from use in the political speech of civilians.

• Political speech and ideas sent from one private individual to another via any medium (mail or other carrier) must be accompanied by an FBI background check of the person receiving the political speech and ideas in question. Failure to meet acceptible standards for posession of that speech will result in the prohibition of the recipient from receiving any further political speech, until such time as posession of that speech or idea is approved by the Federal Government.

• Political speech in one state may not be freely transported to another state. Speech must be sent via a federally registered speech licensee (FSL). However, political speech mentioning the FSL, if employing the acronym and thus easily concealed by civilians, is banned.

• Some small words, which are small enough to be used by any civilian, in some states will require a license to use. Words such as "vote", "recall", or "impeach."

[Joe 6-pack]

"In Massachusetts, golfers would have to have a license to buy balls."

Seems to me this is pretty much already a fact...

[Balata]

Anyone possessing more than one club would be labeled a "golf-nut" who owned an "arsenal" of clubs.

More than one club.LOL!

Do you know how many drivers and putters us 'golf-nuts' own?

[Travis McGee]

bttt

[knowtherules]

Golf clubs don't kill people, but Kennedy relatives probably did.

[ctdonath2]

When people invite me to go golfing, I ask if I can bring my shotgun so we can play "skeet golf". When someone agrees, I'll go.

Until then, golf is just a misuse of a perfectly good rifle range.

[Tijeras_Slim]

bump for later

[peabers]

What a stupid analogy.

[Ditter]

Golf clubs are dangerous. Didn't that Skakel guy kill Martha Moxley with a golf club? They should be banned.

[oyez]

scream for a ban on Big Bertha drivers

Those super driver are a plot to increase the volume of sales for balls. The longer the drive the bigger the mistake and deeper into the woods. I hate to play behind guys with those longer clubs. They just loose their balls.

[PatrioticAmerican]

When people ask me if I shoot golf, I say, "Sure. But they get REALLY hard to hit at 600 yards." ;>

[Byron_the_Aussie]

Handy conversation piece for anti-gun or gun neutral golfing friends.

[FreedomPoster]

Nice post. If the Greens get their way, I imagine they would be all over this list as a starting point for legislation. They generally don't like golf from what I can tell. Too many lawn chemicals, disrupts the local ecology, that kind of crapola.

Golf courses do often ruin what would be a perfect range area, I will concur with that.