STAR WARS Episode 2: The Romantic Side Of Intergalactic Intrigue

April 30, 2002 | Isaiah Flair

[MrConfettiMan]

The fact remains that Episode One stunk like dead fish in the sun.

There's nothing the least bit factual about a subjective opinion of a movie.

One man's garbage is another's garden. Nothing personal, Ronin. Just my two cents.

[Good Tidings Of Great Joy]

The Lord of the Spider-Titanic?

[boris]

-It was impossible to get involved with the young boy because you knew he was gonna be D.V. I bet the same is true with this one.

-Enormous plot holes. I don't mean like "battle robots" that fall apart at the slightest touch; I mean like the combined intellect of the Ascended Masters of Jedi-dom telling Obi-Wan (Merlyn) not to train Anakin. "He bad news, bad juju, no train, no way, no sir!" they intone.

"Nyah, I'm a-gonna train him anyhow!" is Merlyn's response. Uh huh.

-A bunch of strangers show up. "Hi, were from outer space. Mind if we take your kid about 20 light-years thata way?"

"Sure. We'll make more [me and the metachlorians, or whatever they're called]." Anakin is evidently the result of immaculate conception and why isn't he a she, since parthenogenisis always results in females?

-If the meta-whatsiz control the force, why not culture them, centrifuge to concentrate, and inject 'em, just like athletes who "load up" with their own blood cells? Instant Force in a hypodermic.

Etc.

What a bore.

--Boris
And P.S. what's with the kid building C3PO? A big surprise there. One would expect the robot to be devoted to Darth Vader later in the story...

[Bob J]

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[Snuffington]

The Lord of the Spider-Titanic?

No no... the CLONED Lord of the Spider-Titanic.

[lowbridge]

bump

[ArGee]

Second, I want the science to hold together. If it's a space epic, I don't want to "hear" the phaser beams or explosions. I also don't want to see space "fighters" zipping around like hyperactive mosquitos in total violation of the known rules of physics.

They did that. You can still view the crater in Hollywood made by "2001: A Space Odessy" when it bombed.

Shalom.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Oh yeah. Spidey rules!

[Illbay]

What I can't figure out is, Amidala is, what, about ten or twelve years (or more) older than Anakin, right?

So when they meet again years later, and Anakin gets the hots for her, well, she's like in her mid-30s and he's in his young twenties, not so? So what is she, a "queen", doing unmarried all this time? Does she have a Q.E.I complex or something?

I guess it's possible, but kind of "implausible" IMO. Also, FWIW, Portman has only aged a few years, so she comes off as the same age as he is, which is also kind of dumb.

'Course, I guess this being SF you can fix it all with "time compression from traveling at near-light speed" or whatever.

[Caipirabob]

Yeah, I did, then I thought of the size of Hillary's backside.

That's no moon....

Heck, it's big enough to sustain it's own indigenous population of Ewoks.

[Charles Martel]

If the meta-whatsiz control the force, why not culture them, centrifuge to concentrate, and inject 'em, just like athletes who "load up" with their own blood cells? Instant Force in a hypodermic.

Sure, why not? It worked in "Plato's Stepchildren"...

[joebuck]

Actually, I thought Blade Runner was a great SciFi movie. A great movie period. I watched it again not long ago and was suprised at how well it holds up over time. (unlike the original Star Wars which now looks very dated and cartoonish.)To really appriciate Blade Runner, watch the horrid movie "AI", which tries to take on the same theme and ends up being a total snooze fest. My criteria for a good movie, is one which keeps you thinking about it long after it's over. Blade Runner is such a movie. To this day, I still am not sure whether the Harrison Ford character is the good guy or the bad guy in that flick.

[k2blader]

Uh oh... I found "The Phantom Menace" better than "Attack of the Clones"....

[kidd]

I'm in agreement with everything you said.

2001 - best science fiction ever put on the big screen
Matrix - good concept, great cinemography, but a little "plastic"

Other "Almosts":
Andromeda Strain - tends to drag at times, otherwise ok
Terminator 2 - good plot, but "liquid metal" concept hard to buy in to.
Back to the Future - more of a comedy than Sci Fi. Nevertheless a lot of fun

[Wm Bach]

Well, there was "Flesh Gordon..."

And I thought I was the only one to have seen that particular offering.

Who can forget those infamous lines: "Good lord, Flesh! Dykes!!!"

[Billthedrill]

Aw, these people don't know cultcha when they see it - if you didn't scream with laughter when you saw the "raping robots" you have no soul...

[Free Vulcan]

The problem with Episode I mostly was too much Jar Jar and not enough Menace. It was a cutsie directionless romp, not the setup for the great coming battle between Good and Evil.

[Polonius]

I found "The Phantom Menace" better than "Attack of the Clones"

Now you're scaring me.

[k2blader]

*LOL*

Well... still wondering why Lucas couldn't have paid the AOTC scriptwriters a tad more. Guess I expected too much what with the 3-year wait. Sigh...

:-)