[Founding Father]

Dear Wayward Son, David Wells had his front teeth knocked out in a NYC bar by someone half his size. Your Loving Father---P.S. Son, stay out of NYC bars, because apparently, no matter how small the drinkers are, they can knock the sh*t of you there.

[Prodigal Son]

Dear Wayward Son, David Wells had his front teeth knocked out in a NYC bar by someone half his size.

Wow. I bet that was embarrassing.