Despite equality, women today still prefer gentlemen

The UK Telegraph ^ | 9-20-02 | By Sarah Womack Social Affairs Correspondent

[RepubMommy]

Someone's head is sadly disconnected. Complimenting a woman, especially in America, on her appearance, can get you fired and hauled into court on sexual harassment charges.

Absolutely true. Without going into details, I know of a professional who is getting sued for just that becuase he pulled on a ponytail in what he thought was a friendly manner.

[hosepipe]

"Despite equality, women today still prefer gentlemen"
There's something wrong with that statement (Hmmm..thinking).

"I stood Among them, but not of them; in a shroud Of thoughts which were not their thoughts"
.Lord Byron

[shaggy eel]

,,, from the outset, manners are a good indicator. Beyond that, the survey doesn't deal with anything more in depth than that, from my understanding of this article.

[RepubMommy]

Now, contrast him to Clinton. Shall I?

No, please don't I am going to bed soon and don't need potential nightmares.

[Conservababe]

from the outset, manners are a good indicator. Beyond that, the survey doesn't deal with anything more in depth than that, from my understanding of this article.

Tis true of the article.

I will just leave you with the advice my grandmother gave to me many years ago of finding a good man ie gentleman.

You must court him through four seasons. You must observe how he treats his mother and copes with a flat tire in the rain. LOL

[shaggy eel]

,,, my Mum died when I was 14. I change a tyre a lot quicker in the rain so I don't have to draw on my extended vocabulary. I hope I'm living up to my wife's expectations - she's worth it.

[Conservababe]

I'm sure you are, since she must be a lady, and chose you.

[Intolerant in NJ]

A good cinematic example of a gentleman deliberately insulting someone......another is from an old film I saw long ago which has a scene at a social gathering when one insistent man continues to badger another for information which the second doesn't want to discuss; after trying to put his abrasive companion off politely for several minutes, the second finally confronts him by saying "sorry, you force me to be rude..." and proceeding to tell him how offensive his behavior is. Can't remember the name of the movie or even who the actors were, but I'll never forget the line - seems like the perfect way to begin the putdown of anyone whose boorish, irritating behavior has finally gone too far......

[shaggy eel]

,,, thank you.

[VermiciousKnid]

Yes, but you're a dying breed. Unfortunately, a majority of people today -- male and female -- are so ill-raised that they generally misinterpret politeness for weakness.

I certainly hope you are wrong about this....For what it's worth, I myself wouldn't even SPEAK to a man who wasn't polite and gentlemanly, and my husband and I are raising our boys to be the same way. If a girl is stupid enough to misinterpret politeness for weakness...well...then I, for one, wouldn't want her around anyway.

Regards,

[Conservababe]

My favorite is Sir Winston Churchill's reply to a woman seated next to him at a dinner party. She said "sir, you are drunk". He said "I may be drunk, Miss, but tomorrow I will be sober, but you will still be ugly".

[Romulus]

Working out the difference between chivalry and sexism may be a minefield for men,...

Chivalry is rooted in the desire to serve; sexism in the desire to be serviced. C'est tout.

Once that distinction is grasped, it all comes down to the man's will and ability to be honest to himself about his motives.

[uglybiker]

The British gentleman is on the verge of a renaissance."

If that is true, then so is the British dental industry.

[HitmanLV]

I agree, to a large extent.

The problem comes when "gentlemanly" behavior becomes the dominant trait in a man. The result is, to put it bluntly, a less-than-masculine male. So there is no wonder why women would find a less-than-masculine male unappealing.

For me, and it took quite a while, it became clear that gentlemanly traits are both proper and appealing to women, so long that it does not completely define the man. Creating a balance where one is gentlemanly when appropriate, more dominant and assured when appropriate, and more colloquially "macho" when appropriate, is a great formula for being appealing to women. It also assures that a smart man will not be taken advantage of (for example. being a mover, bank, personal chauffer, etc.).

As the lovely "older woman" in my life taught me years ago (ah, I'm getting misty eyed here!), a woman wants a gentleman to hold the door for her, and a gentleman to pour the wine for her, but when she grants the 'green light,' she doesn't want a gentleman to make witty conversation, twiddling his thumbs, or lacking the confidence to romance her in, lets say, her desired and more base ways.

This is her avice, not mine!!! But I endorse it!

So be a gentleman, I think. But don't be a doormat. And when the lady wants you to cross homeplate, don't be a 'gentleman' standing before her and keep on insisting 'please, after you....."

Just cross home plate, Einstein. You will both be glad you did.

Again, as a disclaimer, be sure she want's you to cross home plate. Leave no room for misunderstanding. Always respect a woman's decisions.

[MadIvan]

He has a few children. I dare say that contradicts the idea that he's a poofter.

Regards, Ivan

[uglybiker]

Just cross home plate, Einstein. You will both be glad you did.

I hate it when you're heading for home and she decides to change the game to football where she's Lucy and you're Charlie Brown.

[singletrack]

This lost art of holding the door for ladies is one of the things I'm REALLY stressing to my young sons.Your point " that the gentleman knows who he is" is hard for a 10 and 13 year old to understand, but is vital. I try to teach the m that the woman should be able to pass through the door without thought or effort, as if you are invisible. Then if they treat you as invisible, you know the score on that one.Treat the moment as second nature, Steve Mcqueen or Sean Connery comes to mind.We flub this art sometimes and I've asked some of the ladies if they would mind trying again for practice.I try to ask an equal amount of nice old ladies (who are usually delighted) and stunning young women ( who are sometimes confused but I'm delighted).I'm trying to get them to see all women as equally deserving of respect.Don't ignore the old and don't fear the pretty.Its a lost art, along with long ski's, stickshifts and DOS.

[HitmanLV]

Pally, baseball is my game! I understand what you are saying and have been there myself - I never cared for football much, myself! :-)

[guitfiddlist]

A good cinematic example of a gentleman deliberately insulting someone......another is from an old film I saw long ago which has a scene at a social gathering when one insistent man continues to badger another for information which the second doesn't want to discuss

I think I saw that movie, another Brit product. Recalling that skit: "You and your wife, eh? Say no more, say no more, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, eh? Say no more, say no more..."

And recalling an appropriate Churchillism: "These are the things up with which, we will not put!"