Posted on 12/06/2002 7:20:23 PM PST by dts32041
Don't Ask Me Why, But ... (3) Norman Liebmann Monday Dec. 2, 2002 Don't ask me why, but now that he is discredited and out of office, Robert Torricelli, more than ever, is a symbol of the Democrat Party. Don't ask me why, but it's only a matter of time until peacenik do-gooder Shimon Peres demands the Knesset set aside a day to celebrate Yasser Arafat's bar mitzvah.
Don't ask me why, but Bush has begun to resemble a real President since he quit flooding the American consciousness with the word "compassionate."
Don't ask me why, but the blacks seem to do everything along strictly racial lines - except marry.
Don't ask me why, but feminists will soon be demanding restaurants make available Mens Rooms that are for Ladies Only.
Don't ask me why, but the world never truly had a right to call itself civilized until the invention of Kleenex.
Don't ask me why, but no one has yet convinced me that Elian Gonzalez and Robert Reich are not the same person - or at least share the same wardrobe.
Don't ask me why, but there are no more real democrats in the Democratic Party than there are real penitents in a penitentiary.
Don't ask me why, but there's always room on Yasser Arafat's face for more ugly stubble.
Don't ask my why, but the Civil Rights movement doesn't seem to be making any freer as much as it's clogging up America's spiritual and intellectual plumbing.
Don't ask me why, but if tax is not a four letter word it didn't miss by much.
Don't ask me why, but Vermont bookstores will be clearing room on their shelves for a bestseller called, The Manly Art of Crocheting.
Don't ask me why, but stardom is nature's way of rewarding entertainers who are not afraid to go before thousands of people and stink.
Don't ask me why, but humility, which is found by whites to be an admirable characteristic in other whites, is found by blacks to be anathema in other blacks.
Don't ask me why, but the government will be bragging how much money they saved the taxpayers by not having to make Social Security payments to the Lindbergh baby who would have been 70 years old this year.
Don't ask me why, but it is unremarkable that Ancient Egyptians worshiped cats, but not unremarkable that cats did not worship Ancient Egyptians.
Don't ask me why, but the fact that both the Democrats and the Republicans are so ardently in favor of free trade confirms there is something pretty damned wrong with it.
Don't ask me why, but Arab music sounds like banjos in heat.
Don't ask me why, but I believe that Hillary Clinton is her own older and uglier sister.
Don't ask me why, but the media believes it has an obligation to inform the public of everything it thinks the public doesn't have a right to know.
Don't ask me why, but after they pass on, Democrats come back to Earth as parking meters.
Don't ask me why, but this holiday season Bill Clinton will receive a visit from the Spirit of Erections Past.
Don't ask me why, but all university graduates should get lost in the woods at least once a year in order to appreciate just how overrated their college education is.
Don't ask me why, but I can't tell whether Jesse Jackson is calling for unity or uppity.
Don't ask me why, but more social diseases became incurable during Bill Clinton's term in office than during any previous Administration.
Don't ask me why, but Trent Lott may never have written a book, but nobody more than he deserves the nickname Ol' Paperback.
Don't ask me why, but the more channels they put on television, the fewer programs there are to choose from among them.
Don't ask my why, but it is remarkable that there was no miscegenation among the animals aboard Noah's Ark considering how easy it is to fall in love on a romantic cruise - especially for minks.
Don't ask me why, but the only things welfare recipients seem to do well without - are essentials.
Not so. For centuries it has been the mark of a gentleman to blow
his nose into a piece of cloth and carry it around with him all day.
Don't ask me why, but I think SNL might have an audience consisting of more than two frogs and a chicken if they fired their "writers" and hired Norm!
Love ya, Norm!
Thanx, dts32041 .............FRegards
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