Posted on 12/25/2002 8:47:17 AM PST by PJ-Comix
FOOOOOLED YA!
I bet you thought I was really going to run for president. Yeah, it would have been fun to let 'er rip and become the JACKASS of politics. However, the big problem was money. It takes BIG BUCKS nowadays to make a run for the White House. I would have to raise something like a million dollars per week. And the only way to raise that kind of dough is to work the phones around the clock.
Unfortunately I no longer have that DNC calling card to make those freebie phone solicitation calls. Instead I would have to run up my own damn phone bill to make those calls. Plus it would be like tapping into a dry well. The Clintons and their money man, Terry McAuliffe, are sucking up all the money out there for a Hillary run in 2004.
So now the NEW Al Gore is more free than ever to let 'er rip…..but only in these movie reviews.
FREE AT LAST!
FREE AT LAST!
THANK GOD ALMIGHTY!
I'M FREE AT LAST!
The preceding is Trent Lott's favorite speech. At least that was what he was claiming during his Apology TOUR which even included an endorsement of Affirmative Action.
Sheesh! Talk about pandering! Was there ever a more pathetic sight than Trent begging to be allowed to remain as Senate Majority Leader? And just how clueless does one have to be to tell Strom Thurmond at his 100th birthday party that the country would have been better off if he had won the presidency as the Dixiecrat candidate in 1948? Trent later came up with the lame excuse that he was just trying to cheer up Thurmond. Oh, come on! Did you see Thurmond at that birthday party? I don't think he even remembers 1948 much less even yesterday. All Trent ended up doing was getting his ass kick out of the Majority Leader's job while making himself a laughingstock in an act of public self-humiliation.
However, as the old Chinese saying goes, never wish for something because you might get what you wish for. Well, the Democrats pushed TOO HARD for the removal of Trent as Majority Leader. If they had just held their blood lust in check and allowed Trent to remain in that spot, he would have done ANYTHING to prove that he's not a racist. Yeah, we already had Trent in the palms of our hands before due to the really HOT stuff in his FBI file that Hillary let me take a peek at. So now we have gotten what we wished for: Trent Lott is out as Majority Leader and Bill Frist is slated to take over that spot. Unfortunately we can't control Frist because he came into public life (1994) too late for that coke-snorting kleptomaniac who ran Clinton White House security, Craig Livingstone, to obtain an FBI file on him.
Remember Craig Livingstone? That KFC munching fatboy is now driving a limo shuttling the bigshots of DC around town. At one time Craig actually dreamed he could be one of those bigshots. He actually swallowed the bait that if he just kept his mouth shut during the Congressional Filegate hearings, he would get a job as a bigshot Hollywood producer.
As soon as Craig gave his non-testimony (including the hilarious contention that he had no clue who hired him to head White House personnel security) the Clintons pulled the rug from under him. There was nothing Livingsone could do. If he ever later contradicted his earlier testimony he would be up on perjury charges.
It must kill Livingstone to see his former boss (who hired him), Hillary, get MILLIONS of bucks as an advance to write a non-book while he could have made some buku bucks with a book detailing his TRUE activities in the White House digging up dirt on political opponents of St. Hillary and Co.. The trouble is, the moment Livingstone ever makes truthful revelations about his Filegate activities he will be up on perjury charges which is why he is now sulking angrily in the drivers seat of a limo. Perhaps Craig should try some Prozium to remove those feelings of anger that he is now just a fatboy loser shuttling celebs around town because he got rooked out of that Hollywood producer's job by the Clintons. Yes, Craig, take that Prozium. It will remove your anger as well as all your other feelings….which brings us to the premise of Equilibrium—If human feelings are removed from people such as Fatboy Livingstone, then there will be no more wars.
Oh, you haven't even heard of this movie? Welcome to the club. Most other people haven't heard of Equilibrium either. And I say it is a good thing because Equilibrium is a DANGEROUS rightwing movie. God Bless Dimension Films for doing everything it can to suppress its own movie. Equilibrium is nothing but a bunch of thinly disguised rightwing propaganda. Perhaps Dimension Films did not realize what a dangerous movie Equilibrium is until the execs actually saw the finished product.
Fortunately, Dimension Films has been very effective in keeping Equilibrium from being seen by the general public. Look in your local newspaper and you will probably draw a blank as to its venue. With any luck, by the time you read this review, Dimension Films will have ensured that Equilibrium has been removed from all movie theaters.
The reason why Equilibrium is so dangerous is because of its disturbing anti-socialist message wrapped up in a film containing great entertainment. Equilibrium is sort of a composite of 1984, Fahrenheit 451, The Matrix, and even a dash of that famous Apple Computer Superbowl commercial introducing the MacIntosh. However, the sum ends up GREATER than the parts.
The time is the near future following a Third World War. In order to prevent another war, society is organized into an entity called "Libria" where almost everybody has their human feelings removed via regular doses of a drug called Prozium. The few people (most living outside the cities in the "Nethers") not taking Prozium to repress their feelings are hunted down and destroyed for committing "Sense Crimes."
As the person who runs their Great Society, "Father," constantly tells the citizens of Libria on giant screens, it is human feelings that cause wars. Remove human feelings through the use of Prozium and the causes of war are eradicated in the new Great Society. There, I've used that term again. And so does "Father" on the big screen who is constantly extolling the virtues of the "Great Society."
This is a direct slam against the progressive policies of Lyndon B. Johnson's Great Society. Sure, Johnson suffered from a big PR problem for many years but nowadays many good liberals are taking a second look at Johnson and the Great Society. We had it all in our hands back then…Tons of new government programs with oodles of cash pouring in for funding. But this wonderful expansion of government was soon buried under the quagmire of the Vietnam War thanks to Lyndon Johnson and the Best and the Brightest folks. Only recently, putting aside Vietnam, have we progressives come around to appreciating our Camelot which was the Great Society. And now comes a film to mock the Great Society by expropriating its name for cheap entertainment.
The front line of this Great Society of Libria is the Clericks who are a small elite group of warriors dedicated to hunting down and destroying those guilty of Sense Crimes. The best of the Clericks is Clerick John Preston as portrayed by Christian Bale.
The chief weapon of Clerick Preston is his expertise in the art of Gun-Kata which is like a combination of martial arts and gun slinging. Gun-Kata as performed by Clerick Preston has to be seen to be believed. Take one Clerick Preston armed only with a couple of semi-automatic pistols and put him up against 50 men with machine guns, and the latter haven't got the slightest chance. Using Gun-Kata which incorporates 360 degree martial arts movements, Clerick Preston can dodge his opponents' bullets while simultaneously firing away with his pistols. You will be treated to the most awesome display of martial arts and gunplay yet seen on the screen.
The Gun-Kata alone is worth the price of admission. Too bad it had to be wasted in this rightwing propaganda. However, even as generally dangerous propaganda, Equilibrium does have its flaws.
First of all, Clerick Preston's new partner, Clerick Brandt (Taye Diggs), is over-ambitious which is reflected in his emotions despite the fact he is supposed to be taking Prozium to suppress those very feelings. One of the top leaders (actually the REAL leader) of Libria, Dupont (Angus MacFadden) acts almost as psychotic as Mrs. Heinz, the nutty wife of John Kerry. Let's see. Libria makes everybody take Prozium to get rid of their feelings in order to prevent war yet one of the Librium bigshots acts like he wants desperately to hit a button to set off the nukes. It doesn't make much sense to keep society subdued with Prozium while one of the guys in Libria who can actually set off a war is almost as nutty as Craig Livingstone deprived of his KFC bucket.
One strange thing about this movie that stretches credibility is Preston's first partner, who in an act of Sense Crime, swipes a book of poems by Yeats. Oh, come on! Let's get real here. If a guy is going to risk committing a Sense Crime, he would definitely steal a copy of a forbidden Playboy Magazine, possibly featuring Petra Verkaik. And speaking of Petra, what was with the character of Mary O'Brian in this movie? Ms O'Brian, as a Sense Crime perpetrator got Clerick Preston all hot and horny despite the fact she is a plain Jane wallflower. It would have been much better if this Sense Crime perpetrator was portrayed by Petra Verkaik and right in the middle of her interrogation by Clerick Preston, she rips open her blouse to expose her perfectly shaped massive mammaries. I don't care how much Prozium Clerick Preston is taking, that sight alone is enough to cause him to get a prohibited Schwing Alert.
Although Equilibrium is full of dangerous rightwing propaganda I can give it an honest evaluation as a work of art since, thanks to the suppression of this movie by Dimension Films you will probably never be able to see it. Therefore on my Chad Rating Scale of one to ten chads with ten chads being best….I give Equilibrium eight chads.
This is the NEW Al Gore, freshly liberated from the phone call fund-raising drudgery and hoping to get Petra's phone number. SCHWING!!!
I predict that despite the death sentence given to Equilibrium by its own distributor that this film will live on in a way as a video game. Gun-Kata is just too incredible NOT to become part of a video game.
It's a little hard to explain but it incorporates martial arts with guns. The practitioner is able to determine the angle from which his opponents will fire their weapons and he makes the moves that can both dodge the line of fire while firing back accurately. This sounds a little dry and technical but when you actually SEE it, it is the most AWESOME display of martial arts yet seen on the screen. Check out the trailer.
They had a display of Gun-Kata right at the beginning of Equilibrium and it took my breath away. Even though they purposely killed this film, I predict that Gun-Kata will definitely return as a fabulously successful video game. No way they can avoid it.
It was really a pretty good movie. There were some plot holes but that Gun-Kata bit alone is worth seeing this movie. I don't think we've seen the last of Gun-Kata.
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