Posted on 01/07/2003 9:31:35 PM PST by TLBSHOW
Yo, Muhammad, it was a joke!
Hey, did you hear the one about Muhammad and …?
No? Me neither. And even if I did hear a good Muhammad joke, you can bet I wouldn't tell it. Not in an e-mail, not in a column, not no way, not no how. Why?
Because if you poke fun at the prophet of Islam -or even suggest anything that remotely smacks of irreverence -you will live (maybe) to regret it. Already, I feel the rumbling of thousands of creatively worded hate mails involving the word "donkey" as they thunder along my computer's routers.
Mr. Sulu, activate the insult shields.
So it goes in post-9-11 America, where Muslims have become the new approved victim class. Here's how the knee-jerk drill goes: A journalist writes or otherwise depicts Muslims or their Prophet Muhammad in some way other than soft-focus, peach-toned Hallmark words or images, and thousands of American Muslims become like a battalion of whitewashers unleashed on urban graffiti.
Leading the charge is the special interest group CAIR (Council on American-Islamic Relations), which runs a Muslim news Web site and organizes letter-writing and e-mail campaigns. A recent "fatwa" against political cartoonist Doug Marlette produced thousands of e-mails, many of them threatening to varying degrees. At one end of the spectrum were overt threats of death and mutilation; at the other were attached viruses intended to sabotage Marlette's computer and, with any luck, his career.
Marlette's offense? A joke. A cartoon. An image of a man dressed in Middle Eastern garb driving a Ryder truck with a nuke in back with the caption: "What Would Mohammed Drive?" If you don't get it, go back to sleep.
Marlette's home paper, the Tallahassee Democrat, never ran the cartoon in its print edition and, under pressure from CAIR, quickly removed it from the newspaper's Web site. So much for free speech. And so much for desired effect because immediately thereafter Marlette drew another cartoon in response to CAIR's onslaught. This one shows the Statue of Liberty wearing a burqa and balancing a Free Speech tablet on her hip. Asking a cartoonist to be nice is like asking a pit bull to be lap dog.
Marlette also wrote an eloquent non-apology in response to CAIR's demand for one, whereupon a few Muslims have revealed themselves to have a sense of humor after all. In recent days, Marlette says he's heard from several Muslims who congratulated him on the cartoon and apologized on behalf of their fellow humor-challenged, overly sensitive brethren.
Meanwhile, another victim has been added to the CAIR hit list -Tallahassee Democrat political columnist Bill Cotterell, who got trapped in an e-mail exchange with an angry Muslim woman. His offense, for which he has been suspended for a week without pay, was to fire back in his own angry and characteristically colorful language.
Cotterell criticized Arab nations for their failure to adjust to the Israel's existence, saying: "OK, they can squat around the camel-dung fire and grumble about it, or they can put their bottoms in the air five times a day and pray for deliverance; that's their business. And I don't give a damn if Israel kills a few in collateral damage while defending itself."
I'm sure Cotterell would rather those words not get repeated. He has apologized and declined my offer to speak up on his behalf. Too bad, Bill, it's a free world, and I choose to, anyway. Cotterell's remarks were clearly in bad taste, which is of course why some people find them funny. And they were intemperate. Sometimes that happens when people threaten and insult you, as this woman did Cotterell.
But keep in mind, it was also an e-mail exchange. All of us write things in e-mails -or we used to -that we don't intend to share with the world. The Democrat's decision to suspend Cotterell and to withdraw Marlette's cartoon frankly smacks of caving in to special interests at the expense of free speech. Censorship by intimidation.
Meanwhile, CAIR is shooting itself in the foot while accomplishing a reverse job of public relations. First, Marlette's cartoon got many times the exposure it would have had without CAIR's attacks. Second, few traits are more valued or uniquely American than the ability to laugh at oneself. If the self-appointed defenders of Islam would lighten up a bit, they might find themselves less often as the punch line.
Hey did you hear the one about Moses and Jesus? Oh you did? Darn.
WorldNetDaily.com: "MURRAY'S MOUTH HAS CHALLENGERS LINING UP" by Joseph Farah (ARTICLE SNIPPET: "WASHINGTON - Sen. Patty Murray's safe Washington state seat isn't looking so safe any more. Following her remarks two weeks ago praising Osama bin Laden's generosity and criticizing the United States for its foreign aid budget and failing to work hard enough to make friends in the Third World, potential challengers are getting easier to find.") (010303)
THE LEDGER.com: "REPORTER'S E-MAIL DRAWS SUSPENSION" (ARTICLE SNIPPET: "Political writer and columnist Bill Cotterell, in an e-mail exchange, wrote "Except for Jordan and Egypt, no Arab nation has a peace treaty with Israel. They've had 54 years to get over it. They choose not to." The Washington-based Council on American-Islamic Relations alerted its members, calling the remarks anti-Muslim and anti-Arab.") (010303)
I know that he wants me bad…I know that he wants me bad
I'm only 8 years old…he's still got it, I'm told
In just one year I'm gonna be his
Although I still am flat...he'll call me pussy cat
That I'm too young is nobody's biz
I will be Mohammed's girl…I will be Mohammed's girl
That is what I really want to be
When I am Mohammed's girl…I am Mohammed's girl
I know he will take good care of me
All of his wives are hags…they've turned into old bags
I am so fresh and very nubile
On me he's had his eye…he is my kind of guy
I'll be the next one he will defile
I will be Mohammed's girl…I will be Mohammed's girl
That is what I really want to be
When I am Mohammed's girl…I am Mohammed's girl
I know he will take good care of me
Question: How do you tell the difference between Mohammad and a drunken goat?
Answer: By questioning the goat.
To the terrorist scum, please take note
There are things I will not sugar coat
This is not a low blow
I just want all to know
That Mohammed's sixth wife was a goat
It's not about respect for others' faiths, or even for one's own. It's about having enough humility not to take oneself so seriously that the comments of others, however intended, abrade one's civility. If Muslims possessed that degree of humility, Marlette's cartoons and Cotterell's E-mail would have been ignored as being badly off-target.
Of course, Muslims go a lot further than "civility abrasion." If they had the power to impose shari'a law here, they would -- and Doug Marlette and Bill Cotterell would be in danger of their lives.
Watch your back. Remember that Islam teaches that a Muslim has no moral duties toward a non-Muslim, that a non-Muslim has no rights a Muslim is bound to respect. Outwardly they may smile. Inwardly...no man can say.
Freedom, Wealth, and Peace,
Francis W. Porretto
Visit The Palace Of Reason:
http://palaceofreason.com
Well worth repeating--a very big bumperoo!
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