'Clean Urine' Bill Passes (in Arkansas, of course)

Reuters ^ | 1-28-2003

[Cagey]

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (Reuters) - Something smells funny in the Arkansas drug-testing business, and a state legislator thinks it might be the urine.

Jay Martin, a freshman state representative, won passage through the Arkansas House of Representatives last week of his measure that will make it illegal to sell or use urine to falsify a drug or alcohol screening test.

Martin said he is confident the first bill he ever sponsored will become state law.

Martin said he was urged to introduce the "clean urine" bill by a local drug-testing company that complained of widespread trafficking in urine untainted by drugs. Many of the sales in the market are made over the Internet, he said.

Maximum penalties for violating the law will be up to 90 days in jail and a $500 fine.

"As a freshman I'm going to get razzed anyway, but this bill just gave them added reason," Martin said on Monday of his fellow representatives.

Indeed they did. When Martin took to the Arkansas House floor on Friday to explain his bill, he was greeted by a chorus of hiss-like noises from many of the other 99 members.

As the first vote was taken, scores of members hit the "P" button -- signifying present -- rather than the buttons to vote "yes" or "no."

When the guffaws subsided, a second vote was taken and the legislative body passed the clean urine bill with only one dissenting vote, which came from a lawmaker who complained the bill was an invasion of privacy.

Martin said South Carolina and other states had recently enacted similar legislation. He added that enforcement of the laws to thwart the use of drug-free urine has been difficult.

One typical Internet-based company offering clean urine boasts that its samples are free of illegal drugs, alcohol and nicotine and pre-screened for medical conditions.

A deluxe kit that includes four ounces (119 ml) of urine, an odor-proof transport system, chemical heating pads and gloves sells for $49.95.

The bill is headed to the Arkansas senate, where action is expected soon.

[OXENinFLA]

So how would they check?

[Enterprise]

Reminds me of that old happy song from Arkansas, "Urine the money."

[SandfleaCSC]

Tax dollars at work again.

[Xenalyte]

I swear, some people will stop at NOTHING to pass a test. (Like one couldn't just quit for awhile.)

Seems like substituting someone else's sample would be more trouble than it's worth, given that you're frisked and monitored during alleged sample-providing.

[weikel]

Logical considerations don't enter into many legislative decisions.

[Lexington Green]

Silly drug warriors and their silly laws... all your fluids are belong to us

[henderson field]

Yes, "all your fluids are belong to us," said the Commissar or Urine.

[HELLRAISER II]

They will make everybody register their urine so that they would be able to track the perp. The previous statement just goes to show you how stupid this is, but just because it's stupid doesn't mean they won't try it.

[Wolfie]

That's why there's:

The Urinator!

[sweetliberty]

Don't these people have anything worthwhile to do with their time?

..

PING!

[Liberal Classic]

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

[Desecrated]

Doesn't matter. People will still find ways around it. I did.

Let's just set up cameras in everyone's home and then their would be no drug problem at all and everything will be prefect.

[Wolfie]

Don't laugh. Some guy in North Carolina (I think) was busted for selling urine.

[Desecrated]

Oh my. Grammar surrenders.

[Free the USA]

http://www.freerepublic.com/perl/bump-list

[blackdog]

Aint that a pisser?

[Arkinsaw]

Don't these people have anything worthwhile to do with their time?

The Arkansas General Assembly? HAHAHAHAHA. Um....no.

[steve-b]

As a freshman I'm going to get razzed anyway, but this bill just gave them added reason

No reason to get pissy about it.

[Diddle E. Squat]

Tax dollars at work again.

How so? It just makes lying and cheating on a drug test via substituted urine a crime. It doesn't mandate any enforcement techniques or other costs.

Why the upset? Are you in favor of allowing people to lie and cheat on a drug test?