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It may be Justice on the father's side but I can't help but feel horribly for the poor child.. can you imagine the person you thought was your father and thought loved you unconditionally decides, "oh wait, I changed my mind." A father is more than just a sperm donor. This story tears me in two directions because I can see his side of it but I still can't see hurting a child that you thought was yours so long and developed a love for like your own as badly as this must hurt this boy. I think a real man would've continued to be the father every child needs. Maybe it's just the mother in me talking.

"I think a real man would've continued to be the father every child needs. Maybe it's just the mother in me talking."

Yeah, you have to wonder if he ever really bonded with his son. I go to visit my sister and I fall head over heels in love with my nephew and niece every time (they live about 1000 miles away). I cannot imagine truly bonding with your own child and loving them and then going "Whoops! Sorry, you're not really mine. I'm not your Dad after all. See ya."

But I can imagine being really, really angry after finding out your wife deceived you at that level. Maybe he'll come back to his senses after he gets past the anger stage.

>>It may be Justice on the father's side but I can't help but feel horribly for the poor child.. can you imagine the person you thought was your father and thought loved you unconditionally decides, "oh wait, I changed my mind." A father is more than just a sperm donor. This story tears me in two directions because I can see his side of it but I still can't see hurting a child that you thought was yours so long and developed a love for like your own as badly as this must hurt this boy. I think a real man would've continued to be the father every child needs. Maybe it's just the mother in me talking.<<

I've never been involved in one of these cases, but as I read more and more about them they seem to be a little different. They are almost always divorce cases. The family is going to be split. Guaranteed. Mom goes off with new husband, and the biological father in many cases. The ex husband and payer of child support is on the hook and then figures out that his wife had been cheating on him during the marriage and the child may not be his.

By now, in fact, he is not the father, he does not have custody, and even if he wanted vistations are either nasty or non existant. He has been cut out of the child's life by the mother. The only part of fatherhood he retains is that of a bill payer.

So when he finds out that he has been cheated in marriage and cheated in fatherhood, then he is cheated by the courts when they force him to continue to pay for a fraud that the mother committed.

She may now have an intact family, a steady source of outside income from a fraud, and living better than her ex. If he is lucky enough to find a good woman, (and honeygr1 from your empathetic post I know you are a good one!), his new family gets to have him work 2 jobs, new wife has to work and they live in fear that he will have to go back to court because if he makes anything, his ex will ask for more. What is fair about that?

Answer. Paternity needs to be established at birth using testing. Parties will be informed and make their own decisions based on facts. 30% of the fathers today aren't. That was from a study of blood records that shocked the people doing the study. That also correlates pretty well to a source in the psych community that says that 50% of women will be unfaithful during their marriage. He did not have a figure on guys, sorry.

Bottom line, fraud should never be sanctioned by the government. If the children suffer, blame the mother and the real father. The cuckholded husband and the child born outside of the vows, are the victims. As far as I'm concerned, when it comes to them, I believe they should decide what the penalty is, not the suspects. Suspects always minimize their crimes.

DK