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Quotes on French
various quotes ^ | 4/14/03 | various quotes

Posted on 04/14/2003 7:16:30 PM PDT by freedom44

I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." - George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." - Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." - Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right." - Bob Dole

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." - Regis Philbin

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" - Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." - David Letterman

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people." - Conan O'Brien

"War without France would be like...uh...World War II." - Carrot Top

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will to fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?" - Dennis Miller

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us." - John F. Kennedy


TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: antifrenchhumor
add your own.
1 posted on 04/14/2003 7:16:30 PM PDT by freedom44
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To: freedom44
Quotes about the French
2 posted on 04/14/2003 7:19:35 PM PDT by SMEDLEYBUTLER
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To: All
We Replaced Patrick Leahy's Brains With Folger's Crystals. Let's See If Anyone Notices!

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3 posted on 04/14/2003 7:20:05 PM PDT by Support Free Republic (Your support keeps Free Republic going strong!)
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To: SMEDLEYBUTLER
Thanks for the bookmark! :)!
4 posted on 04/14/2003 7:20:36 PM PDT by freedom44
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To: freedom44
Yet another opportunity to post this:
5 posted on 04/14/2003 7:21:21 PM PDT by annyokie (provacative yet educational reading alert)
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To: freedom44
How do you break a Frenchman's finger? Punch him in the nose.

Why do the french have big fingers?

They have big noses.

How do you sink a French battleship?

Put it in the water
6 posted on 04/14/2003 7:23:51 PM PDT by TFMcGuire (Either you're an American or a liberal!)
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To: freedom44
FRENCH Mark Twain


In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.
- Innocents Abroad

The objects of which Paris folks are fond--literature, art, medicine and adultery.
- The Corpse speech, 1879

France has neither winter nor summer nor morals--apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
- Mark Twain's Notebook

There is nothing lower than the human race except the French.
- quoted by Carl Dolmetsch, Our Famous Guest

It has always been a marvel to me--that French language; it has always been a puzzle to me. How beautiful that language is! How expressive it seems to be! How full of grace it is! And when it comes from lips like those [of Sarah Bernhardt], how eloquent and how limpid it is! And, oh, I am always deceived--I always think I am going to understand it.
- Mark Twain, a Biography

M. de Lamester's new French dictionary just issued in Paris defines virtue as: "A woman who has only one lover and don't steal."
- quoted in A Bibliography of Mark Twain, Merle Johnson

I like to look at a Russian or a German or an Italian--I even like to look at a Frenchman if I ever have the luck to catch him engaged in anything that ain't delicate.
- Extract from Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven

It is human to like to be praised; one can even notice it in the French.
- "What Paul Bourget Thinks of Us"

In certain public indecencies the difference between a dog & a Frenchman is not perceptible.
- Notebook #17, October 1878 - February 1879

It appears that at last census that every man in France over 16 years of age & under 116, has at least 1 wife to whom he has never been married. French novels, talk, drama & newspaper bring daily & overwhelming proofs that the most of the married ladies have paramours. This makes a good deal of what we call crime, and the French call sociability.
- Notebook #18, Feb.- Sept. 1879

France has usually been governed by prostitutes.
- Notebook #18, Feb.- Sept. 1879

French are the connecting link between man & the monkey.
- Notebook #18, Feb.- Sept. 1879

Trivial Americans go to Paris when they die.
- Notebook #18, Feb.- Sept. 1879

It is the language for lying compliment, for illicit love & for the conveying of exquisitely nice shades of meaning in bright graceful & trivial conversations--the conveying, especially of double-meanings, a decent & indecent one so blended as--nudity thinly veiled, but gauzily & lovelily.
- Notebook #18, Feb.- Sept. 1879

A Frenchman's home is where another man's wife is.
- Notebook #18, Feb.- Sept. 1879

An isolated & helpless young girl is perfectly safe from insult by a Frenchman, if he is dead.
- Notebook #20, Jan. 1882 - Feb. 1883

A dead Frenchman has many good qualities, many things to recommend him; many attractions--even innocencies. Why cannot we have more of these?
- Notebook #20, Jan. 1882 - Feb. 1883
7 posted on 04/14/2003 7:24:04 PM PDT by HuntsvilleTxVeteran ( clinton is a raping traitor!)
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To: freedom44

I spit in your direction!

8 posted on 04/14/2003 7:25:35 PM PDT by SirChas
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To: freedom44
Quotes on Franch

.What the fruks a Franch?;-)

9 posted on 04/14/2003 7:28:16 PM PDT by StriperSniper (Frogs are for gigging)
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To: freedom44
"War without France would be like...uh...World War II." - Carrot Top

I hate this annoying red headed nerd and his AT&T commercials but this quote made me LOL.

10 posted on 04/14/2003 7:28:39 PM PDT by Burkeman1 (B)
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To: freedom44
On another note. Just when did the French become castrates? I think they got one cut off in the Franco-Prussian war of 1871- the other they lost in WWI.
11 posted on 04/14/2003 7:31:44 PM PDT by Burkeman1 (B)
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To: Burkeman1
How true that is.
12 posted on 04/14/2003 7:33:07 PM PDT by SirChas (110151040115157155041)
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To: freedom44
One day, an American, an Englishman and a Frenchman were walking along the beach. Suddently the American stubs his toe on an old antique oil lamp, picks it up and rubs it to see if it says anything. Suddenly a giant genie appears and tells the three "THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR RELEASING ME FROM MY PRISON, I SHALL GRANT EACH OF YOU ONE WISH OF WHAT EVER YOU DESIRE". The American, not wasting any time says "I want to be the wealthiest man on earth with dozens of beautiful women in a harem to surround me until I die". POOF. His dream comes true and he has a harem of a dozen beautiful women and he's worth billions.
The Englishman starts to speak when suddenly and rudely the Frenchman darts in front of him and says," it is my turn because my nation has suffered so much". He goes on, "I want a wall, so strong and thick to prevent anyone from these other evil nations of the world to visit or invade my beeeutifool homeland of France ever again". POOF, he is zapped into Paris and a large wall appears around France.
Finally, the Brit is asked by the genie, "what is it you desire English???" The Englishman thinks and says, "may I ask one question before I request my wish?". "Of course" replies the genie. The Brit says, "tell me about this wall please", in a polite manner. The genie says, "it is 150 feet high and 30 feet thick and impenetrable to any known weapon or explosive of mankind".

The Englishman pauses then says "fill it full of water".

V


13 posted on 04/14/2003 7:34:16 PM PDT by Beck_isright ("QUAGMIRE" - French word for "unable to find anyone to surrender to")
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To: SirChas
I spit in your direction!

I pisse in his direction.

14 posted on 04/14/2003 7:34:18 PM PDT by jackbill
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To: Burkeman1
One of my favorites



15 posted on 04/14/2003 7:35:18 PM PDT by ThreePuttinDude (The only thing worse than a Frenchman, is a Frenchman from Canada)
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To: freedom44
"If it weren't for the US, right now the French would be goose-stepping around Paris and eating spetzel three times a day."

-- Jay Severin, talk host on WTKK, 96.9 FM, Boston

16 posted on 04/14/2003 7:35:40 PM PDT by pabianice
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To: freedom44

17 posted on 04/14/2003 7:37:57 PM PDT by Leisler
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To: freedom44
AMERICAN: "Do you speak German ?"

FRENCHMAN: "No."

AMERICAN: "You're welcome."

18 posted on 04/14/2003 7:38:00 PM PDT by ChadGore (289,233,354 people did not protest the war.)
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To: freedom44
France:

Sung to the Tune War

France What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing! Uh-huh, yeah
France, hoah, yeah!
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing! Say it again y'all!
France, hoah, good God!
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing! Listen to me.
France, I despise.

19 posted on 04/14/2003 7:39:34 PM PDT by tophat9000
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To: freedom44
Quotes on Franch

Franch? We was bought from the Franch & I don't like it. I wish we was bought from some good country like the Anglish. We are havin' our bicentennial freedom from the Franch down here in Louisiana. It was back in 1803 that we was Franch but we got bought & now we're 'merican! It's good we ain't Franch no more.

20 posted on 04/14/2003 7:43:28 PM PDT by jrushing
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To: freedom44
"Oooh la la! French Ma Ma! 40 kids and no pa pa."
21 posted on 04/14/2003 7:57:07 PM PDT by lilylangtree
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To: lilylangtree
bump
22 posted on 04/14/2003 8:17:10 PM PDT by scooby321
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To: Beck_isright
This line must be added

After all they are Frogs..

23 posted on 04/14/2003 9:21:46 PM PDT by TAP ONLINE
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To: freedom44
"France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper." - Billy Wilder

"In Marseilles the make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel" - Mark Twain
24 posted on 04/14/2003 9:31:27 PM PDT by T Minus Four
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To: freedom44
Here's a good one:


"I have tried to lift France out of the mud. But she will return to her errors and vomitings. I cannot prevent the French from being French." - Charles de Gaulle (Quoted in Time 8 Dec 67)


25 posted on 04/14/2003 9:52:58 PM PDT by T Minus Four
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To: ThreePuttinDude

26 posted on 04/14/2003 9:59:17 PM PDT by gortklattu
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To: freedom44
"I just love the French. They taste just like chicken."
       -- Hannibal Lecter
27 posted on 04/14/2003 10:45:32 PM PDT by polemikos
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To: freedom44
French Quotes
28 posted on 04/14/2003 11:26:24 PM PDT by The Californian
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