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PARIS (AFP) — A top US diplomat said Wednesday he regretted the French-bashing that took place in the United States over France's refusal to join the US-led war in Iraq. Nicholas Burns, number three in the US State Department, called a decision to rename French fries as freedom fries in the US Congress foolish and he welcomed a new closeness between France and the United States. "I surely hope that those Americans who renamed French fries into freedom fries, and those Americans who poured perfectly good French wines down American drains, I hope that they realise what foolishness that was,"...

As Les Rosbifs and The Frogs scrum down for tomorrow's Rugby World Cup semi-final, Alex Clarke and Jules Eden remind us of the infuriating habits of our cousins across the Channel. 1. Because they're losers Rugby matches played by England against France since 1906: 89. We've won 47; they've won 35. Draws: 7. 2. Because they're aggressive Wars fought against France since 1066: 35. We've won 23; they've won 11. Mutual defeats: 1 (American War of Independence). 3. Because of Napoleon 200 French streets, monuments and institutions commemorate the era of Napoleon, the inventor of totalitarian dictatorship. 4. And because...

-- New Car I just got my new Lexus RX400H and returned to the dealer the next day complaining that I couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated "Watch this"! He said "Nelson"! The Radio replied "Ricky or Willie?" "Willie" He continued. And "On The Road Again" came from the speakers. I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say "Beethoven" I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said "Beatles" I'd get one of their awesome songs. One day, a couple ran a red light...

Click on the link to observe these elite French troops in action.

***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. Though you may critisize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. Last update: May 4, 2005. - Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French...

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." General George S. Patton. ................................................. Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." Norman Schwartzkopf. ............................................................ ......... "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." Marge Simpson ............................................................ ......... "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" Jacques Chirac, President of France "Well as far as France is concerned, you're right." Rush Limbaugh, ............................................................ ......... "The only time France wants others to go to war is when the German Army is...

FIVE JOKES November 13, 2005 We turn to France, whose decision to stay out of the Iraq war is starting to make more sense. After all, why go all the way to the Mideast when you can fight Muslims in your very own suburbs? — JON STEWART The streets of the suburb of Clichy-sous-Bois have been filled with angry, mostly unemployed Arab and African immigrants setting fire to hundreds of cars. Their message: We're mad as hell, and we're not going to let you park here anymore. — STEWART Night after night of rioting and looting and burning cars, but...

Eighty-six percent of people in Britain aged 18 to 30 think the French deserve "a popular negative stereotype," suggests an opinion poll conducted for an Anglo-French art show in London. That compares to 27 percent of like-aged people in France who felt the British held a negative stereotype of their nation, according to the survey. The informal poll of 500 people in London, and as many in Paris, was commissioned by the organisers of an Entente Cordiale art show that opened in west London over the weekend. No margin of error was disclosed. "British people should face up to the...

Sacre Cordon Bleu! What Would Jesus Bet? Sunday, October 09, 2005 By Scott Norvell AFP reports that the Subway sandwich shop chain has apologized for an ad campaign poking fun at French cowardice after some Francophiles in America complained that it was disrespectful. The ad featured a cordon bleu chicken sandwich with the words, "France and chicken, somehow it just goes together." A photo of a chicken dressed like Napoleon accompanied the advertisement. A spokesman for Subway said the campaign was meant to champion French cuisine. The ads were removed once company execs realized that people were offended, he said....

Two years after relations between the US and France soured over the Iraq war, French-bashing in America appears alive and well in light of a recent ad campaign by a fast-food chain linking France and cowardice. The ad by the Subway chain touted a cordon bleu chicken sandwich with the words “France and chicken, somehow it just goes together”. A photo of a chicken dressed like Napoleon accompanied the advertisement. Subway ran the ads in about 10 US states for nearly a month and pulled them in September following an outcry by members of the French expatriate community and other...

Alert Level Raised In France AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate." The raise was precipitated by the recent fire which destroyed one of France's white flag factories, disabling their military.

This is too good to pass up. Do a Google search for "French Military Victories" and hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button.

After over 2 years of strongly opposing the war in Iraq the French finally gave in and released a small amount of troops to assist with the rebuilding of Iraq. This is a clip of their arrival today.

CONDI OFFERS TO GIVE FRANCE MICHAEL MOORE Gift of Filmmaker Seen as Olive Branch In a major foreign policy speech in Paris today, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice extended an olive branch to the French by offering to give them the filmmaker Michael Moore. “We hope you will put aside past differences to work for peace and stability in the Middle East,” Dr. Rice told her audience at the Institute of Political Studies. “And in exchange, we will give you Michael Moore.” In addition to the handover of Michael Moore, Dr. Rice offered to change the name of “Freedom Fries”...

----- Original Message ----- Subject: U. S. Marine The Euro-Train was quite crowded, so the U. S. Marine walked its entire length looking for a seat, only to find that the last seat left was taken by a well-dressed middle-aged French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?" The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat." The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very...

Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United States when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!" "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from...

I know this is a really, really bad joke: Q: Have you heard the latest Olympic results? A: The French won all 3 medals in the 100 meter retreat! Thank you very much. I'll be here all week and please try the veal.

The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport. "You 'ave been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously. "Zen, you should know enough to 'ave your passport ready for inspection." The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. You Americans alwayz 'ave to show your passports on arrival in France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at...

France's U.S. Embassy blasted Gov. Bill Owens on Monday for "unfortunate and ill-informed" jokes about the French. Keynoting Saturday at the Michigan Republican Party Convention, Owens quipped, "You know why they planted those big trees along the boulevard in Paris? So the invading armies could march in the shade." And, he continued, "You know why the new French navy has glass-bottom boats? So it can see the old French navy." C'est dommage, responded Nathalie Loiseau of the French Embassy in Washington. She admonished Colorado's two-term governor for "uselessly practicing French bashing for the purpose of playing politics." Owens delivered his...