Keyword: antifrenchhumor

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  • US diplomat regrets freedom fries and French-bashing

    11/01/2007 2:04:49 AM PDT · by Republicain · 30 replies · 200+ views
    PARIS (AFP) — A top US diplomat said Wednesday he regretted the French-bashing that took place in the United States over France's refusal to join the US-led war in Iraq. Nicholas Burns, number three in the US State Department, called a decision to rename French fries as freedom fries in the US Congress foolish and he welcomed a new closeness between France and the United States. "I surely hope that those Americans who renamed French fries into freedom fries, and those Americans who poured perfectly good French wines down American drains, I hope that they realise what foolishness that was,"...
  • 30 reasons why we [Brits] hate the French

    10/11/2007 6:11:25 PM PDT · by Aristotelian · 50 replies · 2,213+ views
    London Telegraph ^ | 12/10/2007 | Alex Clarke and Jules Eden
    As Les Rosbifs and The Frogs scrum down for tomorrow's Rugby World Cup semi-final, Alex Clarke and Jules Eden remind us of the infuriating habits of our cousins across the Channel. 1. Because they're losers Rugby matches played by England against France since 1906: 89. We've won 47; they've won 35. Draws: 7. 2. Because they're aggressive Wars fought against France since 1066: 35. We've won 23; they've won 11. Mutual defeats: 1 (American War of Independence). 3. Because of Napoleon 200 French streets, monuments and institutions commemorate the era of Napoleon, the inventor of totalitarian dictatorship. 4. And because...
  • My New Car

    07/28/2006 5:24:13 PM PDT · by vigilante2 · 2 replies · 491+ views
    -- New Car I just got my new Lexus RX400H and returned to the dealer the next day complaining that I couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated "Watch this"! He said "Nelson"! The Radio replied "Ricky or Willie?" "Willie" He continued. And "On The Road Again" came from the speakers. I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say "Beethoven" I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said "Beatles" I'd get one of their awesome songs. One day, a couple ran a red light...
  • French Counterterrorist Training [HUMOR]

    01/28/2006 11:01:19 AM PST · by Slings and Arrows · 2 replies · 434+ views ^ | ??? | ???
    Click on the link to observe these elite French troops in action.
  • French military victories? Perish the thought! (Humor)

    12/10/2005 4:54:14 PM PST · by Ultra Sonic 007 · 10 replies · 757+ views
    Albino Black Sheep ^ | Last update: 5/04/2005
    ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. Though you may critisize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. Last update: May 4, 2005. - Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French...

    11/23/2005 2:06:55 AM PST · by Cincinna · 41 replies · 18,942+ views
    self | self
    "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." General George S. Patton. ................................................. Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." Norman Schwartzkopf. ............................................................ ......... "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." Marge Simpson ............................................................ ......... "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" Jacques Chirac, President of France "Well as far as France is concerned, you're right." Rush Limbaugh, ............................................................ ......... "The only time France wants others to go to war is when the German Army is...
  • FIVE JOKES about French Riots.

    11/13/2005 8:42:36 AM PST · by Pikamax · 156 replies · 4,506+ views
    LATIMES ^ | 11/13/05 | various
    FIVE JOKES November 13, 2005 We turn to France, whose decision to stay out of the Iraq war is starting to make more sense. After all, why go all the way to the Mideast when you can fight Muslims in your very own suburbs? — JON STEWART The streets of the suburb of Clichy-sous-Bois have been filled with angry, mostly unemployed Arab and African immigrants setting fire to hundreds of cars. Their message: We're mad as hell, and we're not going to let you park here anymore. — STEWART Night after night of rioting and looting and burning cars, but...
  • Britons think French deserve their 'negative stereotype': poll

    10/31/2005 12:08:14 PM PST · by West Coast Conservative · 49 replies · 1,182+ views
    AFP ^ | October 31, 2005
    Eighty-six percent of people in Britain aged 18 to 30 think the French deserve "a popular negative stereotype," suggests an opinion poll conducted for an Anglo-French art show in London. That compares to 27 percent of like-aged people in France who felt the British held a negative stereotype of their nation, according to the survey. The informal poll of 500 people in London, and as many in Paris, was commissioned by the organisers of an Entente Cordiale art show that opened in west London over the weekend. No margin of error was disclosed. "British people should face up to the...
  • Sacre Cordon Bleu! (Subway ad upsets French, pulled from air )

    10/10/2005 5:28:05 PM PDT · by lowbridge · 31 replies · 941+ views
    Fox News ^ | 10/9/05 | Scott Norvell
    Sacre Cordon Bleu! What Would Jesus Bet? Sunday, October 09, 2005 By Scott Norvell AFP reports that the Subway sandwich shop chain has apologized for an ad campaign poking fun at French cowardice after some Francophiles in America complained that it was disrespectful. The ad featured a cordon bleu chicken sandwich with the words, "France and chicken, somehow it just goes together." A photo of a chicken dressed like Napoleon accompanied the advertisement. A spokesman for Subway said the campaign was meant to champion French cuisine. The ads were removed once company execs realized that people were offended, he said....
  • French bashing alive and well in parts of America

    10/10/2005 10:41:11 AM PDT · by BulletBobCo · 83 replies · 1,996+ views
    Daily Times ^ | October 09, 2005
    Two years after relations between the US and France soured over the Iraq war, French-bashing in America appears alive and well in light of a recent ad campaign by a fast-food chain linking France and cowardice. The ad by the Subway chain touted a cordon bleu chicken sandwich with the words “France and chicken, somehow it just goes together”. A photo of a chicken dressed like Napoleon accompanied the advertisement. Subway ran the ads in about 10 US states for nearly a month and pulled them in September following an outcry by members of the French expatriate community and other...
  • Alert Level Raised In France (HUMOR)

    07/22/2005 10:26:09 AM PDT · by steve-b · 10 replies · 864+ views
    Alert Level Raised In France AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate." The raise was precipitated by the recent fire which destroyed one of France's white flag factories, disabling their military.
  • (Vanity)Google "French Military Victories)

    06/03/2005 6:07:09 AM PDT · by deaconjim · 7 replies · 1,013+ views
    6/03/05 | deaconjim
    This is too good to pass up. Do a Google search for "French Military Victories" and hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button.
  • French Troops Arrive in Iraq

    05/18/2005 12:05:50 PM PDT · by ma bell · 57 replies · 2,736+ views
    After over 2 years of strongly opposing the war in Iraq the French finally gave in and released a small amount of troops to assist with the rebuilding of Iraq. This is a clip of their arrival today.
  • CONDI OFFERS TO GIVE FRANCE MICHAEL MOORE - Gift of Filmmaker Seen as Olive Branch

    02/13/2005 5:07:41 PM PST · by Sub-Driver · 13 replies · 910+ views
    CONDI OFFERS TO GIVE FRANCE MICHAEL MOORE Gift of Filmmaker Seen as Olive Branch In a major foreign policy speech in Paris today, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice extended an olive branch to the French by offering to give them the filmmaker Michael Moore. “We hope you will put aside past differences to work for peace and stability in the Middle East,” Dr. Rice told her audience at the Institute of Political Studies. “And in exchange, we will give you Michael Moore.” In addition to the handover of Michael Moore, Dr. Rice offered to change the name of “Freedom Fries”...
  • Trips to the E.U.

    12/19/2004 3:43:05 AM PST · by M. Espinola · 4 replies · 483+ views
  • French Joke

    10/05/2004 12:59:35 PM PDT · by MNnice · 88 replies · 3,641+ views
    e-mail from a marine | 10-05-04 | MNnice
    ----- Original Message ----- Subject: U. S. Marine The Euro-Train was quite crowded, so the U. S. Marine walked its entire length looking for a seat, only to find that the last seat left was taken by a well-dressed middle-aged French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?" The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat." The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very...
  • Irish vs. French

    09/15/2004 7:00:30 PM PDT · by Michael121 · 8 replies · 727+ views
    not me
    Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United States when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!" "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from...
  • Warning: Very, Very Bad Joke

    08/21/2004 10:07:12 AM PDT · by Brainhose · 30 replies · 745+ views
    Lake Victoria | Today | Brainhose
    I know this is a really, really bad joke: Q: Have you heard the latest Olympic results? A: The French won all 3 medals in the 100 meter retreat! Thank you very much. I'll be here all week and please try the veal.
  • A Joke for today...

    06/05/2004 10:23:11 AM PDT · by CTGOPPER · 27 replies · 275+ views
    The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport. "You 'ave been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously. "Zen, you should know enough to 'ave your passport ready for inspection." The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. You Americans alwayz 'ave to show your passports on arrival in France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at...
  • Owens' Jokes Get Gonged: Remarks at Mich. event offend Francophiles, embassy officials

    05/25/2004 12:12:37 PM PDT · by quidnunc · 48 replies · 263+ views
    The Denver Post ^ | May 25, 2004 | Susan Greene
    France's U.S. Embassy blasted Gov. Bill Owens on Monday for "unfortunate and ill-informed" jokes about the French. Keynoting Saturday at the Michigan Republican Party Convention, Owens quipped, "You know why they planted those big trees along the boulevard in Paris? So the invading armies could march in the shade." And, he continued, "You know why the new French navy has glass-bottom boats? So it can see the old French navy." C'est dommage, responded Nathalie Loiseau of the French Embassy in Washington. She admonished Colorado's two-term governor for "uselessly practicing French bashing for the purpose of playing politics." Owens delivered his...
  • Gazpacho-eating surrender monkeys take France's crown

    03/28/2004 9:17:44 AM PST · by Chi-townChief · 14 replies · 149+ views
    Star Newspapers (Chicago) ^ | Sunday, March 28, 2004 | Michael J. Bowers
    Since 1940 the word "France" has been synonymous among many detractors with "surrender." But now, in a blitzkrieg strike, Spain has wrested away the crown of unmanliness. Who knew the gazpacho-eaters had it in them? The French at least held out for nine days against the Third Reich. The Germans began their killing blow on June 5, the morning after the fall of Dunkirk. They attacked along a 400-mile front, deploying 143 divisions against 65. A few French units fought bravely, but the nation had no heart for the fight. On June 14 their leaders had fled, and the hooked...

    03/26/2004 8:48:57 AM PST · by areafiftyone · 10 replies · 140+ views
  • V A N I T Y - THe French Learn from America's DHS

    03/23/2004 12:38:06 PM PST · by Trident/Delta · 5 replies · 172+ views
    The fevered brow of the encasement of the pea-sized brain | This very day | Trident/Delta
    The French Government, taking a page from our own DHS has established internal threat levels. Unlike the US the French only have four such levels. They are, from low to high, "RUN,""HIDE,""SURRENDER"and finally "COLLABORATE." On Saturday, in light of the Madrid bombing, France has raised its terror alert level from "RUN" to "HIDE." Semper Fi
  • "French Intelligence" with Jacques Chirac CARTOON by Linda Eddy

    03/17/2004 9:39:05 AM PST · by IPWGOP · 33 replies · 279+ views ^ | 3/17/2004 | IPWGOP
  • First French Troops Surrender In Haiti

    03/02/2004 4:25:53 AM PST · by Sub-Driver · 25 replies · 290+ views
    First French Troops Surrender In Haiti - March 1st 2004 After spending at least five minutes in action in Haiti, it has been reported that the first group of French troops have surrendered, when an elderly local woman approached them in an “almost menacing manner.” It is believed they are currently being held hostage, having to endure stories about how much life was better in the old days, and being force fed home cooked cakes. The French Government has so far been unable to contact the woman holding their troops, but insists it will use only their bravest diplomats to...
  • FRENCH MARS PROBE SURRENDERS - Robotic Arm Extends White Flag

    01/27/2004 6:00:34 AM PST · by Sub-Driver · 6 replies · 97+ views
    FRENCH MARS PROBE SURRENDERS Robotic Arm Extends White Flag The French space program took a significant step backward today as the European Space Agency announced that a much-heralded French Mars probe surrendered just moments after landing on the red planet. The probe, which had been expected to travel extensively across the surface of Mars to collect and analyze rock samples, stunned the French nation by surrendering only eight seconds into its mission. As millions of astonished Frenchmen watched on national TV, the probe extended a robotic arm -- designed to scoop up rocks from the surface of Mars – and...
  • Apart from Iraq, what on Earth did the French do?

    01/14/2004 5:23:23 PM PST · by Fox on the Run · 87 replies · 236+ views
    Yes, it's me the naive Aussie again. The last message from my last post on imperial measurements said "the french developed the metric system, and that in and of itself is reason enough not to use it" This question probably sounds very naive, but what did the French do except disagree with Bush over Iraq? After all, Jefferson's ideas of a free, liberal, independent America were derived almost entirely from French liberalism (Voltaire, Montesquieu) Washington's men were supported big time by the French(and to a lesser extent, by the Spaniards). In fact, many historians believe Washington couldn't have beaten the...
  • France to ban "symbols of stereotyping", introduce customer service

    12/19/2003 5:11:54 AM PST · by Sub-Driver · 7 replies · 158+ views
    France to ban "symbols of stereotyping", introduce customer service 17 Dec 2003 by Malcolm Drury In a radical plan to force a sweeping change to his nation's image, French President Jacques Chirac has announced that as of January 1st next year a number of symbols of what he called a "false stereotype of France and its people" will be outlawed. The announcement came on the heels of his declared support for a law that would ban the wearing by Muslim girls in French schools of headscarves, as well as the wearing of Jewish skull-caps, large Christian crosses, Druid robes, and...
  • Satire: The French Report on Saddam's Arrest

    12/17/2003 1:17:39 AM PST · by kattracks · 4 replies · 109+ views ^ | 12/17/03 | Judith Weizner
    This morning Paul Bremer, head of the Coalition Provisional Authority in Iraq, announced that Saddam Hussein, the subject of one of the most intense manhunts in history, had been taken captive by American soldiers. Mr. Bremer's announcement was characteristically terse, illustrating once more the arrogance of the Bush administration. "Ladies and gentlemen, we got him," is how Bremer made the most momentous announcement since the arrival of the 2003 nouveau Beaujolais. Mr. Hussein, whom the American media have often caricatured as a dictator, was arrested as he hid in a ventilated earthen bunker in a farm compound in Adwar, a...
  • PENTAGON REGRETS ‘FRANCE SUCKS’ MEMO - Timing 'Unfortunate,' Wolfowitz Says

    12/12/2003 3:48:01 AM PST · by Sub-Driver · 35 replies · 923+ views
    PENTAGON REGRETS ‘FRANCE SUCKS’ MEMO Timing 'Unfortunate,' Wolfowitz Says The Pentagon said today that it regretted releasing a memo indicating that France sucks just hours before the U.S. was to ask the French to forgive billions in Iraqi debt. "The timing of the memo was unfortunate," said Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, who authored the memo. "We should have released the memo after the French agreed to forgive the debt." In concluding his mea culpa, Mr. Wolfowitz said, "Our timing, much like France itself, sucks." The Wolfowitz memo, which was entitled "France: Why It Sucks," was the talk of diplomatic...
  • Mars Comes Within 34.6 Million Miles of Earth, France Surrenders

    09/03/2003 4:24:58 AM PDT · by Sub-Driver · 25 replies · 272+ views
    Mars Comes Within 34.6 Million Miles of Earth, France Surrenders By Mark Fisher PARIS — The planet Mars is closer to Earth than it's been in 60,000 years, prompting speculation that a Martian invasion is imminent. While the US dismisses the notion, the UN is calling for a resolution barring Martian forces from landing on Earth. A second resolution restricting "all Martian spacecraft and personnel" to US and British soil was gaining momentum. France's President, Jacques Chirac, fearing extraterrestrial occupancy as unavoidable, ordered the French space agency Centre National d'Etudes Spatiales to launch six Ariane 5 rockets, carrying satellites armed...
  • Time to stop bashing French

    07/11/2003 6:27:53 AM PDT · by schaketo · 150 replies · 280+ views
    Philadelphia Inquirer ^ | July 11, 2003 | Froma Harrop
    It's been fun, but isn't it time to stop bashing the French? The gleeful stomping on all things from France has progressed from the moronic to the pathetic. First, there was the dimwit stuff, like renaming french fries "freedom fries" in congressional cafeterias. Now we have student-exchange programs unable to find American homes willing to take in French students over the summer. That's depressing. Like a chronic ailment, Francophobia flares now and then, especially when France tries to frustrate the United States on the world stage. The source of today's friction is, of course, the war in Iraq. A walk...
  • France Declares War on Terrorism

    07/07/2003 3:14:00 AM PDT · by Schnucki · 9 replies · 208+ views
    The Door Magazine ^ | July | David P. Owen
    WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Pentagon announced plans today to deploy crack teams of French existentialists throughout the Middle East in an effort to destroy the morale of radical Islamists by persuading them that, after all, there is no God. Led by a shifty-eyed Gaulois-puffing Parisian named Jean-Paul Angst, the feared Sartre Brigade, known popularly as “Deconstructionist Warriors,” will parachute into the region, insinuate themselves into the local milieu and spread existential anomie and a “jihad of jadedness” in the heart of the Islamist breeding ground, the Pentagon said. Hardened by years of hard-fought intellectual warfare in dark little bistros on...
  • Funny French Joke from Leno

    07/02/2003 8:48:58 PM PDT · by mlmr · 3 replies · 177+ views
    Newsmax Joke link ^ | 7.2.03 | Leno
    They say over in France the wine region over there is going through an incredible heat wave, destroying all the crops. The crops are ruined and this has devastated the French economy. Proving once again: Prayer works.
  • Caption this Photo! [Bush shakes hands with "Le Worm" Chirac]

    06/01/2003 3:50:40 PM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 16 replies · 230+ views ^ | 6/1/03 | UNK
  • CHIRAC CALLS FOR AN END TO FRENCH JOKES - Bush Blasts Proposal as 'Premature'

    05/30/2003 7:31:52 AM PDT · by Sub-Driver · 39 replies · 302+ views
    CHIRAC CALLS FOR AN END TO FRENCH JOKES Bush Blasts Proposal as 'Premature' French President Jacques Chirac today called for an "immediate cessation" of jokes about France now that the active combat phase in Iraq had concluded. In an impassioned speech to the United Nations Security Council, Mr. Chirac said that if the time had come to lift sanctions against Iraq, ""then it is also time to stop calling the French 'cheese-eating surrender monkeys.'"" In addition, Mr. Chirac asked the U.S. to reverse its decision to rename French fries ""Freedom Fries,"" arguing that the derisive renaming of that popular delicacy...
  • French Bashing to Become an Olympic Sport

    05/20/2003 2:47:11 PM PDT · by Lando Lincoln · 5 replies · 165+ views
    The Iconoclast ^ | May 19, 2003 | William Grim
    FRENCH-BASHING TO BECOME AN OLYMPIC SPORT GENEVA -- At its annual meeting, the International Olympic Committee has decided to add French-Bashing to its roster of medal sports in both the Summer and Winter Games. "We thought it was about time," said Jesus de Manuel y Corazon, Chairman of the IOC and the 1968 European French-Bashing Champion. "Everbody hates those little lying, cowardly, collaborating, garlic-eating, never-bathing, nose-picking French bastards. It's time that French-Bashing was recognized for the truly international sport that it is -- one, I might add, that is much more popular than soccer." In Summer French-Bashing, the Basher runs...
  • On French Jokes

    05/20/2003 12:06:46 PM PDT · by presidio9 · 21 replies · 153+ views
    The Wall Street Journal ^ | Tuesday, May 20, 2003
    <p>Is the French government taking advice from Sidney Blumenthal? We ask that question after last week's news that our erstwhile ally has formally protested to the U.S. government against what it claims is a concerted "disinformation" campaign against France.</p> <p>Readers may recall that Mr. Blumenthal was the sharpie who reinforced Hillary Clinton's belief in what she famously called the "vast right-wing conspiracy." Jacques Chirac's government is now in thrall to a similar victimology that it is being punished by a U.S. government campaign to spread lies to convince Americans that the French don't like us.</p>
  • Bush Plans to Cut French Cheese

    05/19/2003 6:01:44 AM PDT · by goliath · 198+ views ^ | Bill Mar
    Bush Plans to Cut French CheeseBy Bill Mar Headline News  This pie chart shows the relative sizes of the major categories of federal income as proposed in the newest Bush Administration budget. WASHINGTON - The federal budget picture is bad and getting worse, the head of the General Accounting Society said Tuesday, and he urged the Bush Administration to take a longer-term look at its tax-cut and spending proposals.The GAS is the nonpartisan investigative arm of Congress capable of reaching deep inside the bowels of government. Its 320,000 employees handle 2 to 5 requests a week from lawmakers, including reports...
  • France Says It Is Victim Of A Smear Campaign

    05/15/2003 10:21:42 AM PDT · by Cathryn Crawford · 100 replies · 279+ views
    France says it is victim of smear campaign Bush administration disputes charge From Andrea Koppel and John King CNN Washington Bureau Thursday, May 15, 2003 Posted: 12:45 PM EDT (1645 GMT) French Ambassador Jean-David Levitte said the United States is spreading misinformation about the French government. WASHINGTON (CNN) -- France says it is the victim of a smear campaign by the Bush administration, charging some U.S. officials are leaking false stories about alleged French complicity with the Iraqi regime. The Bush administration dismissed the charge. The French government lays out its claim in a letter written by the French ambassador...
  • Fireworks Ban

    05/14/2003 6:26:07 AM PDT · by austinite · 9 replies · 247+ views
    Unknown | Unknown
    Fireworks banned in France PARIS, France -- The French government announced today that it plans to ban fireworks at Euro Disney until further notice following last night's fireworks display that caused more than 1,000 soldiers at a nearby French army garrison to surrender to the Disney authorities
  • French Leaders Mark WWII Anniversary

    05/08/2003 1:25:13 PM PDT · by Shermy · 13 replies · 223+ views
    AP ^ | May 8, 2003
    PARIS - French President Jacques Chirac marked the 58th anniversary of the end of World War II in Europe, laying a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier on Thursday to honor those who died fighting. Chirac was joined at the monument, which is at the foot of the Arc de Triomph, by Prime Minister Jean-Pierre Raffarin, Defense Minister Michele Alliot-Marie and Paris Mayor Bertrand Delanoe. Spectators lined the tree-lined Champs-Elysees boulevard to watch a military parade, as Chirac shook hands with more than 100 veterans who attended the annual ceremony. France lost nearly 600,000 people in the war....
  • Fox and Friends HILARIOUS!! WOW!!!

    05/01/2003 4:54:30 AM PDT · by ConservativeMan55 · 88 replies · 413+ views
    Fox and Friends just had a guy on dressed up like a Frenchman with a phony french accent. He took a sledge hammer to these little yellow heads...and put them in this big pot.... He said he was making weasel stew.... Then he took a sledgehammer to the Dixie Chicks CD..and put it in the pot... Next he got a cover picture of Susan Sarandon and ripped it apart...put it into the pot... Then he got another yellow head...and said it was Chirac..hammered it.... and put it into the pot...Brian Commented its YELLOW!!! Said it looked just like Chirac! Then...

    04/27/2003 8:38:12 AM PDT · by proud American in Canada · 42 replies · 1,161+ views
    The Borowitz Report ^ | April 27, 2003 | Andy Borowitz
    CHIRAC POSES NAKED FOR COVER OF ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY ‘Desperate’ Attempt to Win Back American Fans, Critics Say French President Jacques Chirac startled diplomatic circles today with his decision to pose nude for the cover of Entertainment Weekly magazine. Mr. Chirac, his hands strategically covering key parts of his anatomy, appears buck naked on the magazine cover with controversial phrases and epithets such as “cheese-eating surrender monkey” written on his body in what appears to be a magic marker. Reached at his home in Paris, Mr. Chirac said he took the unusual step of doffing his duds for Entertainment Weekly after...
  • Wes Pruden Makes a Funny

    04/25/2003 6:41:52 PM PDT · by yooper · 6 replies · 122+ views
    The Washington Times | Today | Wes Pruden
    Five reliably Anglo-Saxon surgeons, for example, were discussing their bloody trade. "I prefer to operate on accountants," said the first. "All the parts inside are neatly numbered." "Not at all," said the second, "the best patients are the electricians. Their organs are color-coded."The third surgeon set out his preference for librarians: "Everything inside, you see, is arranged alphabetically. There's no mistaking anything." The fourth surgeon made his case for construction workers. "They're very understanding if you have a few parts left over after the surgery, and they understand if you don't finish when you promised." The last surgeon, whose wisdom...
  • 5 Ways To Punish The French (Scarborough Country)

    04/25/2003 2:19:48 PM PDT · by rvoitier · 6 replies · 146+ views
    MSNBC Transcripts ^ | 4/24/03 | Joey Scarborough
    Joey Scarborough has a good show that I'm now marking down on my 'must see' list nightly.
  • French want abuse to stop

    04/17/2003 9:58:46 AM PDT · by ellery · 157 replies · 271+ views
    The Age (Australia) ^ | April 19 2003 | Nate Guidry and Michael A. Fuoco
    The French ambassador to Washington, Jean-David Levitte, has pleaded for a stop to "French-bashing" by Americans now the war with Iraq is at an end. Singling out prominent businessman and commentator Richard Perle, who is a close friend of US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Mr Levitte said Mr Perle's "French-bashing is not very useful". He said it had triggered a vicious cycle of anti-Americanism back in France and he hoped it could now stop. Mr Levitte's remarks came the day after French President Jacques Chirac telephoned US President George Bush and told him he wanted to play "a pragmatic role"...

    04/14/2003 9:45:54 AM PDT · by socal_parrot · 13 replies · 227+ views
    Iconoclast ^ | 04/14/03 | Marni-Rebecca Malarkey
    French President Jacques Chirac and German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder declared joint victory in Iraq this morning, saying that it was "all part of their plan" to egg President Bush and Prime Minister Blair on "by disagreeing with them." "Ooh, la la," said Chirac's foreign minister, Dominique 'Pass me the Hair Spray' de Villepin. "It eez an old psycholojeecal treek, to, ow you say, do the opposeet of what you mean in ordayre to make zee ozer personne become even more determeened. You see?" Germany's foreign minister, Joschka Fischer, echoed de Villepin's remarks when he said that "ve Germans knew...
  • Quotes on French

    04/14/2003 7:16:30 PM PDT · by freedom44 · 27 replies · 807+ views
    various quotes ^ | 4/14/03 | various quotes
    I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." - George S. Patton "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." - Norman Schwartzkopf "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." - Dwight D. Eisenhower "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." - Jacques Chirac, President of France "As far as France is concerned, you're right." - Bob Dole "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris...
  • A Hard Sell? Book Tells Americans How to Be French

    04/14/2003 6:29:10 PM PDT · by Nachum · 30 replies · 268+ views
    Reuters ^ | Mon April 14, 2003 10:23 AM ET | Reuters
    CHICAGO (Reuters) - It may be as ill-timed as opening a new storefront business in downtown Baghdad -- a book telling Americans how they too can be like the French. But its principal author, chef Robert Arbor, says his "Joie de Vivre: Simple French Style for Everyday Living" is "beyond politics" and will quench a thirst deeper than the current tempest in a demitasse. So does publisher Simon & Schuster, which says the timing may work in the book's favor -- offering closet Francophiles in the United States a guide to pursuing the politically incorrect in the privacy of their...