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FIVE JOKES about French Riots.
LATIMES ^ | 11/13/05 | various

Posted on 11/13/2005 8:42:36 AM PST by Pikamax

FIVE JOKES

November 13, 2005

We turn to France, whose decision to stay out of the Iraq war is starting to make more sense. After all, why go all the way to the Mideast when you can fight Muslims in your very own suburbs?

— JON STEWART

The streets of the suburb of Clichy-sous-Bois have been filled with angry, mostly unemployed Arab and African immigrants setting fire to hundreds of cars. Their message: We're mad as hell, and we're not going to let you park here anymore.

— STEWART

Night after night of rioting and looting and burning cars, but don't worry because the French government is working around the clock to figure out a way to blame it on us.

— DAVID LETTERMAN

The riots in France have been through their second week. No signs of slowing. Now first of all, let me congratulate the French on whatever sporting event they apparently won.

— STEPHEN COLBERT

The situation is really bad — today Chirac announced that the French are pulling out of France.

— JAY LENO

(Excerpt) Read more at latimes.com ...


TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: antifrenchhumor
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1 posted on 11/13/2005 8:42:37 AM PST by Pikamax
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To: Pikamax

"We turn to France, whose decision to stay out of the Iraq war is starting to make more sense. After all, why go all the way to the Mideast when you can fight Muslims in your very own suburbs?" — JON STEWART

The WH needs to remember that a significant majority of those polled get their "news" from Late Night Comedy. Stewart "gets it". How about more of the same?


2 posted on 11/13/2005 8:45:01 AM PST by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: Pikamax

LOL!! Leno's is the best...


3 posted on 11/13/2005 8:45:23 AM PST by wvobiwan (Proud Minuteman Project Volunteer - Secure borders, illegals OUT, no 'guest workers'!)
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To: Fenris6

Stewart DOES NOT get it, he's a flaming liberal ignoramus who only said it for laughs. He's anti-military and anti-Bush to the core, don't be fooled.


4 posted on 11/13/2005 8:46:38 AM PST by wvobiwan (Proud Minuteman Project Volunteer - Secure borders, illegals OUT, no 'guest workers'!)
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To: Pikamax
The streets of the suburb of Clichy-sous-Bois

Locally called Clichy-sur-Jungle.

5 posted on 11/13/2005 8:46:50 AM PST by Lonesome in Massachussets (NY Times headline: Protocols of the Learned Elders of CBS, Fake but Accurate, Experts Say)
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To: Pikamax; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; SandyInSeattle; Darksheare; tiamat; ...
*snort*


6 posted on 11/13/2005 8:48:17 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (Note for visitors at Arafat's grave - first dance, THEN pee.)
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To: Pikamax
"today Chirac announced that the French are pulling out of France." Translation : "Need to stop immigration" (x3) "The problem of immigration is fixed"
7 posted on 11/13/2005 8:51:27 AM PST by Tintin chez les soviets
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To: wvobiwan

I agree with you. The only way Stewart and his ilk will get it is when the battle comes to their neihborhood AND they are personally affected. Anything less than that and it the same old liberal tripe from that group.


8 posted on 11/13/2005 8:52:18 AM PST by Dutch Boy
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To: Pikamax

The joke is on the French. They let all these foreigners in, and now they are PAYING BIG.

Oops, that sounds just like the USA!!! Open borders all the way --- hmmmm, a sign of the future?


9 posted on 11/13/2005 8:53:31 AM PST by EagleUSA
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To: Pikamax

SNL had a pretty good skit during their Weekend Update segment where two Interior Ministry officials got onto live TV and officially surrendered. Then a bunch of little kids starting beating them with loaves of french bread.


10 posted on 11/13/2005 8:53:42 AM PST by mfnorman
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To: Pikamax
Stewart's a dork.


Q: Why do French men have moustaches?
A: To remind them of their mothers.

Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German army as they entered the city in World War II?
A: "Table for 100,000 Messieurs?"

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Chirac. He holds the bulb and all of
Europe revolves around him.

Q: How do you say: "Give me liberty or give me death" in French?
A: I give up.

Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad?
A: A salesman.

Q: What do you get when a grenade is thrown into a French kitchen?
A: Linoleum Blownapart.

Q: Why do French naval ships have glass bottoms?
A: To see all their other ships.

Q: Where is the best place to hide your money?
A: Under a Frenchman's soap.

 

 

 


11 posted on 11/13/2005 8:54:55 AM PST by Lady Jag (Semper Paratus! (always prepared))
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To: Tintin chez les soviets
good one!

Welcome to FR

12 posted on 11/13/2005 8:56:54 AM PST by kstewskis (Happy Veteran's Weekend!)
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To: Lady Jag

Just bought a bumber sticker on line:

"My honor student beat up France."


13 posted on 11/13/2005 8:57:03 AM PST by wvobiwan (Proud Minuteman Project Volunteer - Secure borders, illegals OUT, no 'guest workers'!)
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To: mfnorman

My husband just said the rioting is still going on because the French can't find anyone to surrender to.


14 posted on 11/13/2005 8:58:29 AM PST by KYGrandma (Ky girl who wants to go home)
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To: wvobiwan
Stewart DOES NOT get it, he's a flaming liberal ignoramus who only said it for laughs. He's anti-military and anti-Bush to the core, don't be fooled.

Well duh. It's a freakin' comedy show. And you call him the ignoramus.

15 posted on 11/13/2005 8:58:47 AM PST by Non-Sequitur
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To: Non-Sequitur

Do you read the entire thread or just respond to post out of context?


16 posted on 11/13/2005 9:00:11 AM PST by dpa5923 (Small minds talk about people, normal minds talk about events, great minds talk about ideas.)
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To: Tintin chez les soviets

Nice. Where did these cartoons come from?


17 posted on 11/13/2005 9:00:24 AM PST by Eric in the Ozarks
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To: Pikamax; Fenris6; wvobiwan; Lonesome in Massachussets; Slings and Arrows; ...
News flash: Paris has just been renamed - it is now

Parislamabad!

18 posted on 11/13/2005 9:01:43 AM PST by Enterprise (The modern Democrat Party - a toxic stew of mental illness, cultism, and organized crime.)
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To: Enterprise

I kind of like "Paristine."


19 posted on 11/13/2005 9:04:56 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (Note for visitors at Arafat's grave - first dance, THEN pee.)
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To: wvobiwan
Good bumper sticker!

Here are some more ideas:

 

Insults and Insulting Quotes about France

 

****************************************

 

How can one conceive of a one party system in a country that has over 200 varieties of cheeses? - Charles de Gaulle

 

A small acquaintance with history shows that all governments are selfish, and the French governments more selfish than most - Lord Eccles

 

France was long a despotism tempered by epigrams. - Thomas Carlyle

 

It took no more effort than casting a Frenchman into Hell - Dutch saying

 

Attila, the scourge of God, the French, his brothers - Italian saying

 

France is a country where the money falls apart in your hands and you can't tear the toilet paper - Billy Wilder

 

The French write other than they speak, and speak other than they mean

- German saying

 

The friendship of the French is like their wine, exquisite, but of short duration

- German saying

 

Paris is like a whore, from a distance she seems ravishing, you can't wait until you have her in your arms. Five minutes later you feel empty, disgusted with yourself. You feel tricked. - Henry Miller

 

May the French ulcer love you and the Lord hate you. - Arabian curse

 

They are a short, blue-vested people who carry their own onions when cycling abroad, and have a yard which is 3.37 inches longer than other people's.

- Alan Coren, British humorist

 

He lies like a French bulletin. - Dutch saying

 

When the Frenchman sleeps, the devil rocks him. - French saying (?!)

 

Only a dog or a Frenchman walks after he has eaten. - French saying

 

To speak French means not to have any sense. - French colonial saying

 

French pox and a leather vest wear for life. - German saying

 

They [the French] do everything; they know nothing. - Italian saying

 

The French don't say what they mean; don't read as they write, and don't sing according to the notes. - Italian saying

 

Have the Frenchman for thy friend; not for thy neighbour.

- Nicephorus I, Byzantine emperor

 

The ignorance of French society gives one a rough sense of the infinite.

- Joseph E. Renan, French philologist, religious writer and historian

 

A fighting Frenchman runs away from even a she-goat. - Russian saying

 

The Frenchman's legs are thin, his soul little; he's fickle as the wind. - Russian saying

 

The Italians are wise before the act, the Germans in the act, the French after the act.

- Saying

 

France is a dog-hole.

- William Shakespeare, English playwright and poet, All's Well That Ends Well, c.1603

 

PAUL BOURGET: Life can never be entirely dull to an American. When he has nothing else to do he can always spend a few years trying to discover who his grandfather was.

TWAIN: Right, your Excellency. But I reckon a Frenchman's got a little standby for a dull time too; he can turn in and see if he can find out who his father was.

- Mark Twain, US writer

 

I do not dislike the French from the vulgar antipathy between neighbouring nations, but for their insolent and unfounded airs of superiority.

- Horace Walpole, British letter-writer and memoirist

 

 

 

 

 


20 posted on 11/13/2005 9:05:05 AM PST by Lady Jag (Semper Paratus! (always prepared))
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To: wvobiwan

"Stewart DOES NOT get it, he's a flaming liberal ignoramus"

Bingo

Bump

BTTT

and

Exactly!


21 posted on 11/13/2005 9:05:21 AM PST by BenLurkin (O beautiful for patriot dream - that sees beyond the years)
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To: Non-Sequitur

It seems pretty political to me.


22 posted on 11/13/2005 9:06:32 AM PST by Brilliant
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To: Slings and Arrows

Parislamabad can be the capitol city of Paristine.


23 posted on 11/13/2005 9:08:17 AM PST by Enterprise (The modern Democrat Party - a toxic stew of mental illness, cultism, and organized crime.)
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To: Tintin chez les soviets

Merci pur les bandes dessinées!


24 posted on 11/13/2005 9:09:15 AM PST by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: wvobiwan

"Just bought a bumber sticker on line:"

LOL. Is this a sticker you put on your
bum in England?


25 posted on 11/13/2005 9:10:06 AM PST by righttackle44 (The most dangerous weapon in the world is a Marine with his rifle and the American people behind him)
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To: Pikamax
Night after night of rioting and looting and burning cars, but don't worry because the French government is working around the clock to figure out a way to blame it on us.

That's not a joke; that's a clearheaded assessment.

26 posted on 11/13/2005 9:11:24 AM PST by wizardoz
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To: Enterprise

Ivory Coast protesters

27 posted on 11/13/2005 9:12:05 AM PST by petercooper (The Republican Party: We Suck Less.)
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To: petercooper

28 posted on 11/13/2005 9:13:25 AM PST by petercooper (The Republican Party: We Suck Less.)
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To: Eric in the Ozarks

"Nice. Where did these cartoons come from?"

I find it on a french blog.
http://fdesouche.hautetfort.com/


29 posted on 11/13/2005 9:14:53 AM PST by Tintin chez les soviets
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To: Enterprise
How about


Frenchallabad!



30 posted on 11/13/2005 9:16:39 AM PST by Lady Jag (Semper Paratus! (always prepared))
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To: Enterprise
Parislamabad can be the capitol city of Paristine.

That works - the first county of Eurabia.

31 posted on 11/13/2005 9:17:32 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (Note for visitors at Arafat's grave - first dance, THEN pee.)
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To: Lady Jag
That might be better than:

FRANCISTAN

32 posted on 11/13/2005 9:20:06 AM PST by Enterprise (The modern Democrat Party - a toxic stew of mental illness, cultism, and organized crime.)
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To: Enterprise

Actually is "Chiraquie"


33 posted on 11/13/2005 9:22:30 AM PST by Tintin chez les soviets
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To: All

I had to laugh when the nightly riots started to slow down some..because I knew eventually the daily grind of rioting would seem too much like a real job, and they would tire of it....


34 posted on 11/13/2005 9:23:01 AM PST by uncle fenders
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To: Pikamax

Letterman has got it right.


35 posted on 11/13/2005 9:25:26 AM PST by Christopher Lincoln
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To: Lady Jag

And yet the Democrats were telling us to look to the french to show us the way on Iraq.


36 posted on 11/13/2005 9:26:39 AM PST by mfnorman
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To: Enterprise
Or even


SADDAMISTAN



37 posted on 11/13/2005 9:27:49 AM PST by Lady Jag (Semper Paratus! (always prepared))
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To: Pikamax

Cruel, mean-spirited, and completely unfeeling--I love it!


38 posted on 11/13/2005 9:30:59 AM PST by Uncle Vlad
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To: Lady Jag
More like:

SODOMISTAN

39 posted on 11/13/2005 9:32:57 AM PST by Enterprise (The modern Democrat Party - a toxic stew of mental illness, cultism, and organized crime.)
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To: Lady Jag
Q: Why are all the Boulevard lined with trees?

A: So the German Army could march in the shade.

French Auction Advertisement :

For Sale, 2 Million WWII French rifles, perfect condition, never fired, dropped once.

40 posted on 11/13/2005 9:34:50 AM PST by Wil H
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To: Lady Jag
France is a dog-hole.

- William Shakespeare, English playwright and poet, All's Well That Ends Well, c.1603

Ah, the ever-poetic Bill.

41 posted on 11/13/2005 9:37:36 AM PST by AmishDude (Amishdude, the one and only.)
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To: Tintin chez les soviets
I like your screen name.What do you make of this?
With my limited translation skills I can't tell if it's pro-U.S. or pro-France.
Click pic...

42 posted on 11/13/2005 9:38:24 AM PST by kanawa
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To: mfnorman
And yet the Democrats were telling us to look to the french to show us the way on Iraq.

If, after all we know about France, that is true, then Democrats should, at the very least, be deported.

43 posted on 11/13/2005 9:38:28 AM PST by Lady Jag (Semper Paratus! (always prepared))
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To: dpa5923; Non-Sequitur
Do you read the entire thread or just respond to post out of context?

That's what he always does.

44 posted on 11/13/2005 9:39:22 AM PST by AmishDude (Amishdude, the one and only.)
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To: Pikamax

The 1st & Last are the best.


45 posted on 11/13/2005 9:40:57 AM PST by gitmo (From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.)
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To: Enterprise
That's it!!!


46 posted on 11/13/2005 9:42:24 AM PST by Lady Jag (Semper Paratus! (always prepared))
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To: wvobiwan

"Stewart DOES NOT get it, he's a flaming liberal ignoramus who only said it for laughs. He's anti-military and anti-Bush to the core, don't be fooled."


He's a comedian who knows how to get ratings. He's not even worth the rant of your post and completely not worthy of being taken seriously.


47 posted on 11/13/2005 9:44:24 AM PST by Blzbba (For a man who does not know to which port he is sailing, no wind is favorable - Seneca)
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To: Wil H

If you are rioting and your on welfare - is that the same as a paid job in France


48 posted on 11/13/2005 9:48:19 AM PST by MudSlide
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To: Wil H
And this is the auctioneer:



49 posted on 11/13/2005 9:48:53 AM PST by Lady Jag (Semper Paratus! (always prepared))
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To: AmishDude
Ah, the ever-poetic Bill.

It proves that France's incompetence has been known for hundreds of years. Something like that only gets worse.

50 posted on 11/13/2005 9:50:31 AM PST by Lady Jag (Semper Paratus! (always prepared))
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