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Owens' Jokes Get Gonged: Remarks at Mich. event offend Francophiles, embassy officials
The Denver Post ^ | May 25, 2004 | Susan Greene

Posted on 05/25/2004 12:12:37 PM PDT by quidnunc

France's U.S. Embassy blasted Gov. Bill Owens on Monday for "unfortunate and ill-informed" jokes about the French.

Keynoting Saturday at the Michigan Republican Party Convention, Owens quipped, "You know why they planted those big trees along the boulevard in Paris? So the invading armies could march in the shade."

And, he continued, "You know why the new French navy has glass-bottom boats? So it can see the old French navy."

C'est dommage, responded Nathalie Loiseau of the French Embassy in Washington. She admonished Colorado's two-term governor for "uselessly practicing French bashing for the purpose of playing politics." Owens delivered his riffs to a crowd of 2,000 Michigan Republicans after contrasting President Bush's leadership with that of likely Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry. Kerry, he said, "would wait for a permission slip to be filled out by the United Nations and initialed by France" before rebuilding Iraq.

Owens was unavailable Monday to explain his bon mots against the French.

Communications director Sean Duffy said the governor "has been very concerned about European and other nations who have been not only unsupportive, but actively antagonistic in the conduct and the run-up to the Iraq war."

"He was pointing out how America has sacrificed for other nations. So, historically, he was trying to point out that America has done a lot for France," he continued.

Concerns about Owens' jokes are "kind of bewildering," Duffy added, "because he had a standing ovation in the hall."

-snip-

(Excerpt) Read more at denverpost.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Extended News; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: antifrenchhumor; billowens

1 posted on 05/25/2004 12:12:39 PM PDT by quidnunc
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To: quidnunc

Get over it.


2 posted on 05/25/2004 12:16:18 PM PDT by Dan from Michigan ("Today we did what we had to do. They counted on America being passive. They were wrong. - Reagan)
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To: quidnunc

The tongue is sharper than the sword. That's why the french were so offended.......
BTW, French Doors are the least secure doors in the building industry.........


3 posted on 05/25/2004 12:18:06 PM PDT by Red Badger (VISUALIZE: Using your turn signals.............)
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To: quidnunc

Why in the hell did he say he was sorry? Does ANYONE in the GOP have a backbone??


4 posted on 05/25/2004 12:18:06 PM PDT by inflation (Cuba = BAD, China = Good? Why, should not both be treated the way Cuba is?)
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To: quidnunc
C'est dommage, responded Nathalie Loiseau of the French Embassy in Washington.

C'est la Guerre, et Fermez la Bouche, replied Old Sarge of the United States Army.

5 posted on 05/25/2004 12:18:34 PM PDT by Old Sarge (It's not Bush's fault - It's THE MEDIA'S fault!)
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To: quidnunc
"Concerns about Owens' jokes are "kind of bewildering," Duffy added, "because he had a standing ovation in the hall."

I guess only the French were offended.

6 posted on 05/25/2004 12:21:16 PM PDT by No Blue States
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To: Old Sarge
I will admit my ignorance of the French language... who it be possible to get a English translation of that Old Sarge?
(for some reason we just don't hear the French language to much here in Arizona.)
7 posted on 05/25/2004 12:22:09 PM PDT by Americanwolf (Former Navy AO3... IYAOYAS!!!! Population control and landscaping with a bang!)
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To: quidnunc

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?

A: Nobody knows, it's never been tried.



Q. Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?

A. Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.



Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?

A. So the Germans could march in the shade.

Q: How many gears does a French tank have?
A: 4 reverse and 1 forward, in case the enemy attacks from the rear.

Q: How can you identify a French Infantryman?
A: Sunburned armpits.

Q. What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?

A. You can make soldiers out of toast.



Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?

A. The Army.

France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." —Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." —General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." —Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." —Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." —Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right." —Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." —Regis Philbin

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." —P.J O'Rourke (1989)

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." —John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"They've taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." —Argus Hamilton

"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq." —Dennis Miller

"I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac." —Dennis Miller

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He IS French, people." —Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" —Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof,' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." —David Letterman

How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

An old saying: Raise your right hand if you like the French.... Raise both hands if you are French.


8 posted on 05/25/2004 12:24:27 PM PDT by CR
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To: Americanwolf

"C'est la Guerre, et Fermez la Bouche" = That's war, and shut your mouth.

(Native Louisianian, at your service!)


9 posted on 05/25/2004 12:24:49 PM PDT by whodat57
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To: Old Sarge

Never saw much use for learning French. If I ever go back there it will be with an armored column..... and then they'll need to know English.


10 posted on 05/25/2004 12:25:50 PM PDT by Feckless
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To: whodat57
"Native Louisianian" = CoonAss
(Native Texan, at yer service!)
11 posted on 05/25/2004 12:27:32 PM PDT by Feckless
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To: quidnunc

Yeah, but how many of those jokes could be true!


12 posted on 05/25/2004 12:27:47 PM PDT by Liberatio (Please forgive my misspelling)
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To: CR

For sale - original issue French military rifles. Never fired, dropped only once.


13 posted on 05/25/2004 12:29:13 PM PDT by coloradan (Hence, etc.)
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To: quidnunc
She admonished Colorado's two-term governor for "uselessly practicing French bashing for the purpose of playing politics."

Why assume it was playing politics? I bash the French for pure enjoyment.

14 posted on 05/25/2004 12:29:38 PM PDT by Sloth (We cannot defeat foreign enemies of the Constitution if we yield to the domestic ones.)
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To: inflation

Um, where in the article did it say Owens, or anyone, said he was sorry? It said he wasn't available for comment.


15 posted on 05/25/2004 12:31:33 PM PDT by TheBigB (Jaime Pressly: proof that God does indeed exist.)
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To: Americanwolf
C'est la Guerre, et Fermez la Bouche

This is War, so Shut your Mouth!

16 posted on 05/25/2004 12:32:05 PM PDT by Old Sarge (It's not Bush's fault - It's THE MEDIA'S fault!)
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To: inflation
Why in the hell did he say he was sorry? Does ANYONE in the GOP have a backbone??

He apologized? This article doesn't reflect that.

17 posted on 05/25/2004 12:35:11 PM PDT by Sloth (We cannot defeat foreign enemies of the Constitution if we yield to the domestic ones.)
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To: Old Sarge; whodat57
Thanks! it appreciate, i have a sister-in-law that understands French and is a flaming liberal. She never thinks that France does nothing wrong. Maybe this will get thru to her.
18 posted on 05/25/2004 12:37:45 PM PDT by Americanwolf (Former Navy AO3... IYAOYAS!!!! Population control and landscaping with a bang!)
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To: CR; All

LMAO!

All classic jokes...especially Letterman's!


19 posted on 05/25/2004 12:39:11 PM PDT by MplsSteve
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To: quidnunc

The only thing wrong with those jokes is that they're OLD !


20 posted on 05/25/2004 12:40:10 PM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Sloth; TheBigB

I was mistaken. But, I bet and 'i'm sorry if I offended anyone' will be comming out in the next 1-2 days.

I hope I am wrong.


21 posted on 05/25/2004 12:41:09 PM PDT by inflation (Cuba = BAD, China = Good? Why, should not both be treated the way Cuba is?)
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To: Izzy Dunne

OLD they are. Oldies but Goodies.

Got any new ones you would like to share?


22 posted on 05/25/2004 12:42:34 PM PDT by CR
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To: inflation
Does ANYONE in the GOP have a backbone??

John McCain does. He will screw over the Republican Party multiple times and not back down once.

23 posted on 05/25/2004 12:43:40 PM PDT by Paul Atreides
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To: quidnunc
"You know why they planted those big trees along the boulevard in Paris? So the invading armies could march in the shade."

A bit harsh, but the Nazis enjoyed the shade. And the Americans who freed France enjoyed that shade as well.

24 posted on 05/25/2004 12:44:52 PM PDT by highlander_UW (Evil doesn't want to leave you alone. It wants to draw you in and force you into complicity. - Keyes)
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To: quidnunc

Geez, I hope the Gov. didn't mention the new French aircraft carrier. They can't get the coal fired engines to work properly.


25 posted on 05/25/2004 12:50:10 PM PDT by Tacis (,)
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To: presidio9; Constitution Day; Tijeras_Slim; martin_fierro; Owl_Eagle; Dead Dog; sathers; Cooter; ...
I think this is very definitely worth a RPR ping. P.J. himself called the French a "smallish, monkey-looking bunch." Enjoy!

PING to the newly-created REPUBLICAN PARTY REPTILE ping list, named after our spiritual founder, P.J. O'Rourke. What is the Republican Party Reptile? It is a creature of the eighties. It’s neoconservatism with its pants down around its ankles, the Rehnquist Supreme Court on drugs, a disco Hobbes living without shame or federally mandated safety regulations. The Republican Party Reptile supports a strong defense policy, but sees no reason to conduct it while sober. The RPR believes in minimum government interference in private affairs—unless the government brings over extra girls and some ice. In short, the RPR is the new label that our political spectrum has been crying out for—the conservative with a sense of humor and a healthy dose of depravity.

26 posted on 05/25/2004 12:50:36 PM PDT by TheBigB (Jaime Pressly: proof that God does indeed exist.)
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To: quidnunc

Let them first clean their own house...

and stop the virulently Anti-American attitude of their own media, leaders, etc.

Dissident Frogman has the goods - great site:

http://www.thedissidentfrogman.com


27 posted on 05/25/2004 12:51:14 PM PDT by WOSG (Peace through Victory! Iraq victory, W victory, American victory!)
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To: quidnunc

Owens for president !


28 posted on 05/25/2004 12:56:10 PM PDT by Eric in the Ozarks (STAGMIRE !)
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To: quidnunc
Lighten up, France.

Bill Owen in 2008.

29 posted on 05/25/2004 12:58:39 PM PDT by Corporate Law (<>< -- Xavier Basketball - Perennial Slayer of #1 Ranked Teams)
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To: Corporate Law

Paris - April 8, 2004 - French Interior Minister Jean-Pierre Lafontaine announced today that, due to the recent terrorist bombings in Spain, France's Terror Alert Level has been raised from "Run" to "Hide." Mr. Lafontaine further added that if the bombings continue, the Terror Alert Level would be increased to "Surrender and collaborate."


30 posted on 05/25/2004 1:15:34 PM PDT by dcar99
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To: quidnunc
"As an entrepreneur myself, your governor certainly wouldn't make me want to locate a company in Colorado," said Michael LaVean, a Michigan resident who has lived in France and took offense at Owens' humor.

Looks like it worked! But you know we'll have all those save-the-frog people coming out of the woodwork to keep them here.

31 posted on 05/25/2004 1:28:27 PM PDT by BykrBayb (5 minutes of prayer for Terri, every day at 11 am EDT, until she's safe. http://www.terrisfight.org)
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To: dcar99

The French have agreed to send help to Iraq. Not with the actual fighting but to help with the establishment of the new government. The French would like to send in document shredding teams.


32 posted on 05/25/2004 1:40:30 PM PDT by dcar99
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To: TheBigB
I think this is very definitely worth a RPR ping. P.J. himself called the French a "smallish, monkey-looking bunch."
That was the polite part:

French:

Sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. They take filthy pictures of each other with cheap cameras, wash nothing but their ****s, fight with their feet, and perform sex acts with their faces. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

(Warning: naughty language on the link)

-Eric

33 posted on 05/25/2004 1:41:53 PM PDT by E Rocc (It takes a village to raise a child. The village is Washington. You are the child. - PJ O'Rourke)
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To: Sloth
She admonished Colorado's two-term governor for "uselessly practicing French bashing for the purpose of playing politics."

Oh pshaw, French bashing is never useless, and practice makes perfect!

34 posted on 05/25/2004 1:44:18 PM PDT by mountaineer
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To: quidnunc

You can't tell the truth without offending someone!

Sensitivity training alert!
Harassment training alert!


35 posted on 05/25/2004 2:20:48 PM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar (DEMS STILL LIE like yellow dogs.)
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To: quidnunc

The French can give Michael Moore an award for the most rabidly poisonous anti-Bush film and absurdly false "documentary"... and yet they get their truffles in a twist because a Republican cracked a joke about their less than stellar battle history.


36 posted on 05/25/2004 2:30:39 PM PDT by Tamzee (Kerry's just a gigolo, and everywhere he goes, people know the part he's playing...)
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To: inflation

I don't think Bill Owens will be apologizing for his remarks about Frenchie.


37 posted on 05/25/2004 2:42:29 PM PDT by Reagan Man (The choice is clear. Reelect BUSH-CHENEY !)
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To: Reagan Man

I was wrong, just read down some more and you can see me eat crow ;->


38 posted on 05/25/2004 2:45:53 PM PDT by inflation (Cuba = BAD, China = Good? Why, should not both be treated the way Cuba is?)
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To: quidnunc

LOL!


39 posted on 05/25/2004 2:49:45 PM PDT by <1/1,000,000th%
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To: E Rocc

Wow, funny funny stuff.......and just wrong in so many ways...I love it! It's nice to see that therre are places where PC hasn't killed comedy.


40 posted on 05/25/2004 2:55:17 PM PDT by musical_airman (Be an American Patriot- Make Beer!)
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To: quidnunc

Hilarious!

Jokes worth remembering!


41 posted on 05/25/2004 3:03:05 PM PDT by BlueNgold (Feed the Tree .....)
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To: inflation

When did he say he was sorry?


42 posted on 05/25/2004 3:06:03 PM PDT by EllaMinnow
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To: quidnunc

How can you tell a Frenchman has been in your bedroom?

The white sheets are missing.


43 posted on 05/25/2004 3:33:04 PM PDT by sergeantdave (Gen. Custer wore an Arrowsmith shirt to his last property owner convention.)
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To: quidnunc

OWENS 2008!


44 posted on 05/25/2004 3:46:32 PM PDT by JohnBDay
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To: E Rocc
Monsieur! Merde! I have take insult..Le vin cette tre magnifique. and zere is another way to do Sex???
45 posted on 05/25/2004 4:15:05 PM PDT by late bloomer ( Neglegere homo pone aulaeum)
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To: Tamsey
The French can give Michael Moore an award for the most rabidly poisonous anti-Bush film and absurdly false "documentary"... and yet they get their truffles in a twist because a Republican cracked a joke about their less than stellar battle history.
Perhaps a movie called "Nous Rendons" should be entered at next year's Cannes contest.

-Eric

46 posted on 05/25/2004 6:17:25 PM PDT by E Rocc (It takes a village to raise a child. The village is Washington. You are the child. - PJ O'Rourke)
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To: musical_airman
Wow, funny funny stuff.......and just wrong in so many ways...I love it! It's nice to see that therre are places where PC hasn't killed comedy.
That dates back to the late 70s, when PC was non-existent. A "Best of the National Lampoon" volume from when P. J. O'Rourke was editor would probably sell massively, but no publisher would touch it because it would attract more whiny protests than the simultaneous disbandment of ATF and DEA.

-Eric

47 posted on 05/25/2004 6:22:12 PM PDT by E Rocc (It takes a village to raise a child. The village is Washington. You are the child. - PJ O'Rourke)
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To: CR

"Trust the French"
-- Gen. Pershing

I have no idea of what Gen. Pershing was really saying...but the quote
just sounds great these days...pur irony and sarcasm.


48 posted on 05/25/2004 6:27:04 PM PDT by VOA
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To: CR

There's a reason why the French fighter jet is called a Mirage... (if you think you see one in actual combat, that's a mirage.)


49 posted on 05/26/2004 9:24:10 AM PDT by talleyman (Chirac is a jacques-itch)
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