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Hate America Left Crows Over the War-thought reality would sober up the enemy within, think again
frontpagemagazine.com/SFGate.com ^ | April 21, 2003 | Mark Morford

Posted on 04/21/2003 6:54:35 AM PDT by SJackson

Oh my yes. What whimpering, unadulterated embarrassment the anti-war protesters must now feel, what heaping mountains of crow we must all imbibe. This is the general sentiment, the snickering attitude hissing from the Right like hot spittle spraying all over your nuanced perspective.

Hail the great victor BushCo! Ha! The U.S. kicked ass! Who's your daddy, beeyatch? Thump thump thump on the manly chest of great liberator America! Liberals suck! Go, war! It's Miller Time.

Yes, justifiably do the war zealots gloat. See how our multibillion-dollar high-tech superpower ordnance annihilated the little scrawny pip-squeak nation! See how we barely even broke a multibillion-dollar sweat!

Whoever dared doubt our brawn should be immediately hanged and castrated and laughed at and called many violently homophobic names and run over with a big bitchin' Ford Expedition! Snicker!

We must admit it: The hawks and warmongers were right about Iraq all along. The peaceniks had it all wrong, what with our lame pacifist whining about thousands of needless deaths and BushCo's mad rush for oil and vicious regional control and its bloody long-term plan to strong-arm the Middle East for the administration's corporate wet dreams. Nope, that didn't happen at all.

Why, look what a nice, bloodless war we just executed. So fun, so easy, so painless, so made-for-TV. Almost makes you wonder why we don't just keep right on going, maintain that momentum, some sort of ultraviolent mutation of Newton's law -- i.e., a rabidly power-mad body in motion stays in motion -- only with more decapitations and limbless children. Cool.

Damn, if only Syria were acting up just a little bit more. We'd take those sumbitches down, boy! Lebanon, too! And Egypt. North Korea. Who's next, baby? Who wants a piece of this? Bring it!

True enough, the actual battle in Iraq barely lasted a month. Take that, lame hippie war protesters! Take that, losers who said it would drag on forever but let's not mention the months and years and thousands of American soldiers and billions in taxpayer dough it will take to try to stabilize this ultraviolent U.S.-hating region from now on!

Let us not mention that no one ever doubted the U.S. military could destroy Iraq. Let us not mention the war the peaceniks referred to all along was about hate, and religion, and power, and was far larger and deadlier and more culturally deleterious than any meager battle for Baghdad. No no no. Bush rules! We won! Just wave the flag right in the face of the damn peace-lovin' hippies!

Yessir, that'll show us not to speak of the bitter international precedent we have now set for unprovoked global rogue warmongering. Coupla well-placed cluster bombs'll shut us all right up, boy.

Speak not of the seething rage America's actions have now hammered into the Islamic mind-set, loser liberals! Especially not of the newfound hate spreading like poison among them gul-dang fundamentalist terrorist cells who are right now experiencing a flush of new sign-ups, a record influx of America-loathing volunteers. Shut up about that! We won the war! Done! Over! Look no further! Repercussions are for wimps!

Damn liberals and their incessant "big picture" crapola. Do they not see the heartwarming photos? That amazing and poignant (staged) bogus PR shot of the giant Saddam statue being (staged) pulled down by a tiny crowd of (staged) cheering Iraqis, with -- what an amazing coincidence! -- the actual U.S. flag that flew at the Pentagon on 9/11 being (staged) draped around it? How can those pacifist freaks not be moved by that? Clearly, God loves America more than anyone.

And another thing the damn liberals were all wrong about? Death! All praise Rummy and BushCo for keeping civilian causalities to a minimum during the war!

Yessir, we slaughtered but a fraction of what we imagined we would in those worst-case scenarios, killed only a few thousand Iraqi civilians and merely tens of thousands of young, stupefied Iraqi soldiers, as oppose to the hundreds of thousands we were all prepared to kill if Baghdad had resisted like we thought it would. We had the murderous cluster bombs all ready and everything. Damn.

And only what, about 125 dead American GIs so far? That was so totally worth it! The world is safer! Freedom is restored! Just look at all that staggering and irrefutable evidence we have now uncovered that proves what a dire threat Saddam was to our nubile happy American virgins as well as the security of the entire world! Ha! See?

See all those nasty WMDs? Those sprawling nuclear facilities? The huge biotoxin factories? The Saddam Club for al Qaeda members? See? No? Oh. Well, we'll find them! Just you wait. Saddam probably saw us coming and moved them all into Syria. Yeah! That's what happened! Syria! Those bastards!

Peacenik dinks. Who's laughing now? The country loves its little Bush! He can do no wrong! His approval ratings are sky high! Just like his daddy's were right after Desert Storm. Remember?

Right before they nosedived to the lowest of any president in history? Right before the numbness of that vile little war wore off and everyone suddenly realized just how thoroughly and systematically and deliberately Bush Sr. had screwed the nation, massive deficits and mind-numbing recessions and sky-high unemployment and lousy schools and bashed women's rights and global anti-U.S. resentment and more tax cuts for the rich. Sound familiar?

Right. Well. Never mind all that now. Dubya rules! We won! War was justified! You liberal scumsuckers sure look like fools now, boy!

And Dubya is gonna follow exactly in his proud daddy's footsteps! Just you watch! Lose everything and embarrass the nation even further and prove himself to be a miserably dense and out-of-touch leader who's gutted the nation's coffers in the name of his WASP mafia cronies! Ha! Damn liberal scum. Man, were you ever wrong!


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Foreign Affairs
KEYWORDS: loonyleft; morford
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1 posted on 04/21/2003 6:54:35 AM PDT by SJackson
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To: SJackson
uh....

yeah.

I think this guy, like, needs some special medicine.

2 posted on 04/21/2003 6:57:07 AM PDT by jedwardtremlett
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To: SJackson
Can't ya just feel the love?
3 posted on 04/21/2003 7:02:12 AM PDT by tonyinv
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To: SJackson
Guy's an idiot. He is a perfect example of a guy who thinks his "hipness" a mark of superiority, when the reality is it's a sign of perpetual adolescence.
4 posted on 04/21/2003 7:04:18 AM PDT by beckett
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To: SJackson
Mark Morford's neck chain has hit more balls than Pete Roses's bat.
5 posted on 04/21/2003 7:05:20 AM PDT by Search4Truth (When a man lies, he murders part of the world.)
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To: SJackson
Don't you just hate the "way" that the left admits they are wrong ...
6 posted on 04/21/2003 7:06:14 AM PDT by AgThorn (Continue to pray for our Troops!!)
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To: SJackson
Never a mention of the unspeakable horrors and killing that ended as a result of the war, the numbers of which far exceeded the casualties of the war.

Typical leftist moron.
7 posted on 04/21/2003 7:07:08 AM PDT by babyface00
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"The peaceniks had it all wrong, what with our lame pacifist whining about thousands of needless deaths and BushCo's mad rush for oil and vicious regional control"

He's only hearing what he wants to hear. Thousands of needless deaths? What's the source, pal? And people were not being executed under Saddam? I also thought I heard the administration say, at least a dozen times by now, that the Iraqi oil belongs to the Iraqi people.

Where is this punk getting his info?

8 posted on 04/21/2003 7:09:00 AM PDT by tuna_battle_slight_return
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To: SJackson
Liberalism is mental illness.
9 posted on 04/21/2003 7:09:08 AM PDT by moyden2000
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To: SJackson
suddenly realized just how thoroughly and systematically and deliberately Bush Sr. had screwed the nation, massive deficits and mind-numbing recessions and sky-high unemployment and lousy schools and bashed women's rights and global anti-U.S. resentment and more tax cuts for the rich.

I didn't realize just how powerful Bush Sr was. Single handedly able to screw the nation, cause deficits, recessions and unemployment, decimate our schools (which must have been far better under Reagan then).

To what delusion is he referring under "bashed women's rights"?
10 posted on 04/21/2003 7:10:03 AM PDT by babyface00
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To: SJackson
Where is the BARF alert? Where is this guy writing from, downtown Havana? The post of this article is a total waste of bandwidth.
11 posted on 04/21/2003 7:13:34 AM PDT by anoldafvet (Freedom isn't free, it's the most costly gift you'll ever receive.)
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To: SJackson
Yawn....
12 posted on 04/21/2003 7:13:35 AM PDT by austinite
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To: SJackson
Yessir, that'll show us not to speak of the bitter international precedent we have now set for unprovoked global rogue warmongering.

If this doesn't say "I hate America" then what would? This entire article is just leftist WHINING, something we are frequently treated to by much better writers than this idiot.

13 posted on 04/21/2003 7:15:31 AM PDT by Mister Baredog ((They wanted to kill 50,000 of us on 9/11, we will never forget!))
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To: SJackson
And Dubya is gonna follow exactly in his proud daddy's footsteps! Just you watch! Lose everything and embarrass the nation even further and prove himself to be a miserably dense and out-of-touch leader who's gutted the nation's coffers in the name of his WASP mafia cronies! Ha! Damn liberal scum. Man, were you ever wrong!

Good Lord, a meltdown is a terribly nasty thing to watch.

14 posted on 04/21/2003 7:21:13 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (© 2003, Ravin' Lunatic since 4/98)
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To: Mister Baredog
Good then, Mr. Morford...we'll put you down on the side of Saddam.
15 posted on 04/21/2003 7:26:26 AM PDT by chiller (could be wrong, but doubt it)
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To: SJackson
He's taking it surprisingly well. Didn't once mention how he was going to take his ball and go home. That's something.
16 posted on 04/21/2003 7:38:23 AM PDT by Mark de New Brighton ("Not too smart, really smell/love chanting pure doggerel/I can count to four/And I'm agin the war")
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To: Cyber Liberty
Speak not of the seething rage America's actions have now hammered into the Islamic mind-set, loser liberals!

Wow, but for the punctuation, this sentence was almost completely accurate.

What he must have meant to say:

Speak not of the seething rage America's actions have now hammered into the Islamic mind-set-loser liberals!

17 posted on 04/21/2003 7:49:50 AM PDT by Big Giant Head (There, that reads better)
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To: SJackson
Folks...the best way to deal with this guy is to ignore him. I suggest not reposting his little diatribes here. See, he gets paid for being published. The more hate email he gets, the more "hits" on his web articles -- these are all proof to his editor and publisher that he brings in the readers. And the publishing business is all about selling advertising. The more email, the more site hits -- the more statistical proof to their advertisers that the site gets visited. So by reposting this guy just helps him. People get pissed, send him nasty emails, visit his site to read his articles. Which keeps him in business. His business is printing the most inflammatory articles which attract attention.
18 posted on 04/21/2003 8:11:19 AM PDT by dark_lord
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To: jedwardtremlett
I think this guy, like, needs some special medicine.

Yeah, it contains lead. Anyone have an 'injector'?

19 posted on 04/21/2003 8:18:02 AM PDT by Dr.Deth
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To: SJackson
Anyone got a hankie to wipe up this little whiners tears?
20 posted on 04/21/2003 10:13:02 AM PDT by MEGoody
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