Boycott Canada, eh? Adieu to radio, garbage bags, and easy-to-carry cases of beer

The GLobe and Mail ^ | 4/21/03 | ROY MacGREGOR

[doc30]

Poor Margaret Atwood.

Here she is, not only Canada's best-known writer but the most visible of the many Canadian critics of the War on Iraq, and she has to choose this month to release a new novel.

She might not care to hear Oryx and Crake tagged a "product," but that's the word the entertainment industry uses -- and, as of this past weekend, we now know America wants as little as possible to do with Canadian products.

According to a new survey by Fleishman-Hillard Canada and Wirthlin Worldwide, 48 per cent of Americans now say they are "very likely" or "somewhat likely" to turn their backs on anything that comes from France, Germany and Canada in favour of an alternative from any of the U.S.-led coalition of some 40-odd nations.

This would include, we have to presume, Atwood's new novel as well as a boycott on any future edition of the Canadian-invented Trivial Pursuit that might ask players to name more than three members (United States, Britain, Australia) of that coalition.

Such an anti-Canadian backlash is difficult to grasp by this particular Canadian, having just spent a month travelling through the United States and encountered only one American with a bone to pick with Canada -- and that a woman so peeved with the Montreal hockey-game booing of the American anthem that she regretted naming her dog Jacques.

Yet, according to this most recent survey, the American resolve is hardening, with 15 per cent saying they've already moved to eliminate such French products as wine and cheese.

As well, 8 per cent say they've substituted for Canadian products -- but had a more difficult time naming any actual Canadian products. About 79 per cent knew that Canadian Club whisky might be Canadian -- raising intriguing questions about the remaining 21 per cent -- but after a specific brand of whisky and perhaps maple syrup, they were pretty much lost when it came to Canada.

It's hard to have a boycott when you don't know what you're supposed to turn your back on.

We therefore offer up, free of charge, a handy list for quick reference:

Lay down your cell phones. Canadians brag endlessly about Alexander Graham Bell inventing the telephone in Brantford, Ont., so Americans could not only take a little revenge but make movies more enjoyable and highways safer at the same time.

Switch off the playoffs. Both professional hockey and pro basketball are winding up their endless seasons. A Canadian, James Naismith, invented basketball. No one knows who invented hockey or even where the first game was played -- but it's pretty much a given it wasn't the Mighty Ducks in Anaheim, California.

Start sleeping in. The only reason West Coast day traders rise at dawn to dump their high-tech mistakes is because some Canadian, Sir Sanford Fleming, invented time zones way back before there were even digital clocks to tell us what time it is. No way a Canadian clock should rule American lives.

No more laughing. The only funny people still hanging around Hollywood these days are Canadians like Jim Carrey, Mike Myers and assorted Second City and Saturday Night Live graduates, so switch off the national laugh track and see how funny Canadians find that.

No more divas. Celine Dion, Shania Twain, Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morissette, Diana Krall, Nelly Furtado, Avril Lavigne all have one more thing in common than high Billboard charts -- they're all Canadian. Tune them out and give Cher and Madonna a chance to come all the way back.

Turn off the radio. Talk radio may be the main comfort zone of the Bush administration, but how many Americans realize it was a Canadian, Reginald Fessenden of East Bolton, Que., who is the true father of the radio (Marconi came later) and another Canadian, Ted Rogers, who came up with the vacuum tube that put a radio in every kitchen? Rush Limbaugh would understand.

Stop travelling. There wouldn't be Caribbean cruises if a Canadian had never come up with the screw propeller. Going back to wind would be a severe blow to Canadian self-worth. A Canadian also came up with variable pitch for propellers, but what's the use of killing air travel when it's already dead anyway?

Quit drinking. That Canadian whisky label is only the beginning. Not only are the best beers sold in the United States from Canada, but it was a Canadian who invented the tuck-away beer case handle that made long weekends possible. Put an end to it.

Stop taking out the garbage. The Man from Glad might look American, but the truth of plastic garbage bag lies in a handy little device that Harry Wasylyk and Larry Hansen came up with a half century ago for the Winnipeg General Hospital.

Canada thinks the United States won't raise much of a stink?

Just let 'em wait a couple of weeks.

[doc30]

This type or rant is common in Canada. Canadians base their national pride on loose connections to important contributions to mankind from generations ago.

Lay down your cell phones. Canadians brag endlessly about Alexander Graham Bell inventing the telephone in Brantford, Ont.
Bell was Scottish and grew up in Brantford. He invented the phone in the U.S. But this author believes Americans must give up telephones if they want to boycott Canadian products. Someone should tell him that Canada isn't a major manufacturer of telephones in the world market.

Canada may have had a hand in some big accomplishments, but their exploitation (hence economic gain) were never significant in Canada. Like the Canadian celebrities, many migrated to the U.S. where the brass ring is solid and not plated.

anyone have a list of products for a Canadian boycott? I know most Chrysler minivans are produced in Canada.

[Grampa Dave]

Canada is becoming as much of a PIA as their role model, France.

Their economy is sinking like their role model, France's with the socialism and PCism of their government.

It may be time to start boycotting them.

We could start with any beer that comes from Canada. Just buy American beers.

[Sgt_Schultze]

Bumping.

Wanting to watch the list accumulate.

[Jeff Head]

This guy is an idiot, trying to convince other idiots of his idiotic reasoning and illogic.

But his dog won't hunt ... in fact, it doesn't even sound like he has a dog.

Winning Iraqi Freedom

[Grampa Dave]

Here is the reality of what has just happened in Iraq and its impact on dictators around the world.

[Renfield]

"...Not only are the best beers sold in the United States from Canada.."--

This chap needs to brush up on his beer knowledge. With the admitted exception of the world-class beers from Unibroue (which is indeed a Canadian brewery, but so obscure that most Americans haven't heard of it), Canadian beers are generic and uninspired. Belgian beers are far-and-away the world's best, and British, Scottish, German, American West-coast, and Czech beers are, on average, way above Canadian brews. Heck, even the French are better brewers.

[Chi-townChief]

I think this boy's a little confused about how a boycott would work.

[arkfreepdom]

We could start with any beer that comes from Canada. Just buy American beers.

Or Fosters or Bass, etc.

[Nucluside]

We don't need no stinking Canadian (Canadien?) fold-down beer cartons. If we couldn't invent something better we wouldn't be real Americans.

[arkfreepdom]

Belgian beers are far-and-away the world's best, and British, Scottish, German, American West-coast, and Czech beers are, on average, way above Canadian brews. Heck, even the French are better brewers.

Don't forget how much the Belgian's were a PIA (this pains me since I love my Sweet Sixteen Browning shotgun).

I tried a Czech beer last month and it was good....don't remember the name, but it had a star on the label.

[Grampa Dave]

Do Fosters and Bass come Canada?

[rllngrk33]

Canada is becoming as much of a PIA as their role model, France.

Canada would be a great friend and ally of the U.S. if it wasn't for the French socialists in Quebec. Get rid of the French in Quebec and the problems will go away.

It seems like everywhere the French ever established a colony has turned into a sh*thole. (Vietnam, Haiti, Algeria,....)

[Mister Baredog]

The American consumer is KING. We have the power, and we are still "p*ssed off" about 9/11. Canada has abandoned the US in our time of need. Good luck trying to EXPLAIN that one away, you might as well be France!

[Grampa Dave]

Belgium has been a huge PIA since 9/11.

I refer to them as French Lite in my French Boycott list.

[arkfreepdom]

Do Fosters and Bass come Canada?

No, Fosters is Aussie and Bass is from the UK.

[Renfield]

That would have been Staropromen (not sure if I spelled that right). Try Pilsner Urquell, it's even better.

[Grampa Dave]

The reason I asked, was someone posted last week, that the Fosters we get in America comes from Canada.

Then a friend who likes Bass was concerned about some Canadian control of American Bass.

Hopefully someone can do some research for us. We don't want to boycott Aussie and UK Beer.

[Renfield]

Believe it or not, the Foster's that we buy now in the U.S. is brewed in Canada (under license). And by-the-way, it's better than the original Australian Foster's....more hop flavor.

[Tennessee_Bob]

Celine Dion, Shania Twain, Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morissette, Diana Krall, Nelly Furtado, Avril Lavigne

Okey doke - can do. Especially since I don't listen to them anyway. Anything else I can do to help??

[Billthedrill]

I'm sure all this is true, but to my taste it's just as irrelevant as the "a black man invented the traffic signal" stuff we get every February. One does not boycott inventions, after all, one boycotts products.

As for the important part of the article, beer, the truth is that the large majority of Canadian beers have fallen into the same lamentable trap as their American competitors - going for bulk in production, sales, and profits by turning out weak, gassy, straw-colored crap that doesn't change a great deal between the time it's poured and the time it's flushed. There are exceptions, but LaBatt's, Molson's, and Moosehead aren't among them. Uncle Jack's was pretty good but I haven't seen any in years.

Czech beer for me. Some of the Japanese lagers are excellent (German enclaves in Kamakura and Sapporo got them going between the wars). I don't care if ze Chermans haff elected a government full of soiled-diaper babies, their beer is excellent. But if you want the best, brew your own.

[3AngelaD]

If you'd like to buy products made in Bush-friendly Spain, instead, I highly recommend tienda.com, which has some of the most scrumptious stuff available on line. I am particularly fond of their garlic mayonaise.

[IvanT]

Their economy is sinking like their role model

Our economy is not sinking, it's been outperforming your in job growth, housing starts, our dollar is rising, our unemployment is down, and the Bank of Canada has already raised interest rates twice this year in order to slow the Canadian economy down.

[IvanT]

Also, guys, I think the authors being more than just a little facetious.

[KneelBeforeZod]

Beyond people who have met canadians, and can tell you about the big US canada rivalry that only canadians are aware of... is there any more proof needed that no one in the US cares about Canada, than the fact they don't even rate a boycott?

[IvanT]

Just so you know - Canada Dry ginger ale is not Canadian - it's English.

[Dr. Luv]

Mark this one under sarcasm - some of us here need to take a valium and stop looking for reasons to hate Canadians...

[arkfreepdom]

Thanks, I didn't know that. Will check and see.

[surely_you_jest]

Canada is becoming as much of a PIA as their role model, France.

It may be time to start boycotting them.

GD - While I am in the midst of moving from one part of the state to another, and thus don't have a lot of time at the moment, but I've given a little thought to this and I offer it up for what it is worth.

A lot of our Canadian imports come from extractive industries - oil, gas, lumber etc - yielding fungible commodities which are inherently difficult to differentiate in terms of national origin once they are inside our borders. The Canadians also have transplanted factories, sort of like the ones in Mexico just south of the border, which turn out goods for American companies, such as automobiles. There are, I think, some conglomerates up there into a variety of things, alcoholic beverages being one of them. They, no doubt, have some other products, of which I am, at this moment, blissfully unaware. And finally, there is, I believe, quite a bit of cross-border North American tourism, along with some at-destination shopping.

In other words, for boycott purposes I think their economy is similar to the French economy in the sense that there are a few easily identifiable products, such as Molson's beer, but their biggest immediate vulnerability is tourism. I live in a tourist area (SW Fla), and one thing I've learned about it is that it is almost all profit for the destination, primarily because there is no cost of manufacture. The impact of a cut in tourism is not diluted by being spread out, in dollar terms, over suppliers and insurers and so forth - a cut goes directly to the bottom line. Empty hotel rooms, empty restaurant tables, and so forth. In addition, there is no time lag - is goes directly to the bottom line right now, not when the US supplier doesn't order more Molson's a few months downstream because he can't sell what he already has on hand.

So, until a list can be drawn up of Canadian goods to boycott, the easiest and quickest way to hit them squarely in the pocketbook is to simply stop going there and spending money.

[eBelasco]

http://www.canadianembassy.org/trade/wltr-en.asp

"Canada Is the United States' Leading Foreign Source of Energy

Canada's energy exports to the United States totalled $35 billion in 2001. Exports included $17 billion in natural gas, $10 billion in crude petroleum, and $6 billion in petroleum and coal products. In addition, Canada supplied close to 100% of U.S. electricity imports, worth $2 billion. Canadian forest product exports amounted to $20 billion and included $6 billion in softwood lumber and $5 billion in newsprint. The United States also purchased $8 billion in airplanes, their engines and parts; $4 billion in aluminum and aluminum alloys; and $3 billion in office machines."

[q_an_a]

Shiner Bock is the best beer sold in retail stores in America and nobody doubts that a german beer made in Texas is Real American beer.

[Grampa Dave]

I agree about the tourism, particuliarly to their eastern provinces and cities where most of this stuff comes from.

When we don't go to Canada as tourists, there is an immediate negative impact on their economy.

I know of Steelhead fly fishers who will not be going to Canada for the first time in decades.

Also, any sweet heart timber, minerals or energy deals made by the Clintoons that favor Canadians should be be rendered null and void. I hear that there are hundreds of such deals.

To back up what you are saying about travel boycotts having an immediate impact. The UK and Americans have started cancelling vacations and meetings in France. The economic impact has been significant with a 25% drop in vacation business from just the UK. The beneficiary has been Spain for the most part and then Italy.

[Grampa Dave]

The reason you bank has raised interest rates twice is to pay for your socialism.

Your unemployment rate is about double ours.

That medical MJ must be too strong!

[eBelasco]

"any sweet heart timber, minerals or energy deals made by the Clintoons that favor Canadians"

Show us an energy deal made between 92 and 2000 that favors the Canadians. I'm pretty certain Canada is locked into US set terms on energy export prices, ie: Canada has to sell energy at prices based on the previous 3 years price, and also can't restrict their exports to the US. Unless the previous regime set those prices to benefit the Canadians, I'd say we hosed them on that deal.

[Grampa Dave]

An unwritten deal is when our enviral whackos make it impossible to mine, deliver oil or energy from American Sources at a competitive price.

I have no idea of what was signed in the last two years of the Clintoonian raping of America. We need to look at all of the treaties to see why they hate GW so much. It ain't just political!

Bob and Shermy do you have any data re any possible sweetheart deals with Canada for energy products signed in the last two years of the Clintoonian Rape of our Republic?

[Dan from Michigan]

Fosters is imported from Canada.

[Dan from Michigan]

Fosters is "Aussie" but I believe the Fosters in the US is imported from Canada.

Bass is English.

[Grampa Dave]

Thanks, this comment from you is what was posted this weekend: Fosters is "Aussie" but I believe the Fosters in the US is imported from Canada.

I thought that Bass was British, and yesterday a somewhat liberal friend who is doing a big about face due to Iraq, who is a Bass drinker, told me that he was not sure about the Bass we buy and drink in America.

[Under the Radar]

No more divas. Celine Dion, Shania Twain, Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morissette, Diana Krall, Nelly Furtado, Avril Lavigne all have one more thing in common than high Billboard charts -- they're all Canadian.

AGREE!!

[Dengar01]

Not only are the best beers sold in the United States from Canada

That is a matter of opinion. I find the best beers to be those made in Wisconsin.

There are more holes in the argument of this article than swiss cheese.

[eBelasco]

It affects both countries, but NAFTA Chapter 11 particularly affects Canadian exporters of energy products, and the Canadian govt's ability to regulate them. Similarly, if the US govt were to officially boycott a Canadian product, the Canadian company could probably make a Chapter 11 claim against the US gov't for the same reason. Any boycott would have to be completely consumer driven.

[Dan from Michigan]

I drink Bass occasionally and it's one of my favorite Pale Ales.

I THINK a Connecticutt Guinness branch imports Bass to the US.

[-YYZ-]

"This chap needs to brush up on his beer knowledge. With the admitted exception of the world-class beers from Unibroue (which is indeed a Canadian brewery, but so obscure that most Americans haven't heard of it), Canadian beers are generic and uninspired. Belgian beers are far-and-away the world's best, and British, Scottish, German, American West-coast, and Czech beers are, on average, way above Canadian brews. Heck, even the French are better brewers."

It's true, Canadian beers from the mainstream brewers are generic and uninspired. In fact, the only thing worse than mainstream Canadian beer is mainstream American beer. Why is American beer like making love in a canoe? Because they're both f!#$ing close to water.

[Dan from Michigan]

I find the best beers to be those made in Wisconsin

One of my favorite Lagers is from there. Leninenkugels - Chippewa Falls.

[goldstategop]

How many of you have made the four hour drive from Windsor up Queens Highway 401 to Toronto? Four hours of beautiful, empty scenery. Most of Ontario Province is so sparsely populated you don't know where Canada begins til you get to Missisauga. And then you enter the Greater Toronto area. Beyond that it thins out til you reach the nearest city of size along Lake Ontario, Kingston. Finally the 401 turns to Autoroute 20 and you're in Montreal and that La Belle Province, Quebec. I've gotten only as far as Petersborough on my last trip. If I had more time I might have been able to get to Ottawa and perhaps Montreal. After having seen the hateful rhetoric directed towards our country for the last couple of months I think I'll be spending my vacation dollars at home. If the Canadians want us back, let them grovel.

[eBelasco]

There are tons of micro-brews from all around that are awesome. Great Lakes, Rolling Rock, Shiner Bock...plus I have a soft spot for Genny Cream!

[AmishDude]

Bell was Scottish and grew up in Brantford. He invented the phone in the U.S.

When Andrew Wiles proved Fermat's Last Theorem, a British mathematician expressed pride that he was an Englishman working in the US. The American mathematician expressed pride that he was an Englishman working in the US.

[Dan from Michigan]

I have made that drive. I think most of at least East Michigan has at some point. I believe out here that Toronto is probably the most common out of state vacation destination outside Florida(Orlando and Tampa is almost Michigan South) and maybe Chicago.

Never been to Quebec, going to stay that way too.

I wonder how many Michiganders are going up North instead of Canada this year.

[Dan from Michigan]

Rolling Rock is major commercial out here.

I never had Great Lakes suprisingly. Mackinac Pale Ale is excellent and is in Webberville about 25 miles West of where I'm at along my commute. Sometimes I stop there on the way.

[geedee]

You would think even this jackass would know that now is not the time to taunt us. BS articles like this will only motivate even more of us to get pissed off.

[gcruse]

You boycott what is coming out of the country right now, not something they did in the past. Your failure to understand this resonates with the problem your country has right now. The fact that we have done things side by side in the past has been worn down to nothing by what is coming out of Ottawa right now. No soup for you, MacGregor.