Telemarketer reveals tricks of trade

MSNBC ^ | April 21, 2003 | Bob Sullivan

[lainie]

The phone rings in the middle of a busy day. “I just want to verify some information for your yellow page listing,” says a voice on the other end of the line. It’s your business, so you agree to the chat. Name. Address. Phone number. You reply with a simple “yes” to eight or nine rapid-fire questions. A month later, there’s a $29.95 charge on your phone bill for a service you don’t remember ordering. You’ve been crammed, another victim of fast-talking telemarketers who are skirting the edges of telecommunications law to create a multimillion industry.

..But the former employee, who was laid off by the company several weeks ago, alleges that Epixtar’s telemarketers use a variety of techniques — including altering taped telephone calls — to prove that customers agreed to charges.

..On the call, the Epixtar operator says she is verifying the business name and address. Then, after she gets the consumer into the rhythm of giving “yes” answers, she establishes that he has the right to make changes to the phone bill. But that key question, read at lightning-quick speed, is slipped in behind another simple “yes” answer.

“At this time we will begin your no obligation 30-day free trial. Should you decide to continue after 30 days your company’s Web and Internet service is only $29.95 monthly and will be included in your local phone bill appearing under the heading online services ...,” the operator says. The flummoxed consumer replies hesitatingly, “Yes ....” The former employee claims the tape was neatly cut after the word “yes.”

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

“At this time we will begin your no obligation 30-day free trial. Should you decide to continue after 30 days your company’s Web and Internet service is only $29.95 monthly and will be included in your local phone bill appearing under the heading online services ...,”

I don't care how rapid fire the questions come. Anybody that hears that line and says "Yes" deserves to get shafted. I've had telemarketers try to slip those in on me after giving me their spiel and have ALWAYS responded with a flat out "NO, I don't wish to order your service" and then hung up on them. Ya' gots to open dem ears up.

[lainie]

Of course not. I don't have anything at all to do with ureach financially. I just think it's a great privacy device.

[lainie]

I agree -- but I thought the 'yes' was previous to that line.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

...so I just tell them, "No, she's not here". I won't let myself be rude to the caller because they're only trying to make a living.

I screen every call but Mrs. BS Roberts likes to answer the phone. When it's a telemarketer she simply explains that she already has it (whatever it is they're selling) and "thanks for calling, bye, bye." Click.

[wideminded]

I was basically joking, but I thought it was not beyond the realm of possibility for someone to try this. :)

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

I thought the 'yes' was previous to that line.

From the last line of the article:

...your company’s Web and Internet service is only $29.95 monthly and will be included in your local phone bill appearing under the heading online services ...,” the operator says. The flummoxed consumer replies hesitatingly, “Yes ....”

[lainie]

Well yeah.. those were excerpts. We have to excerpt anything from MSNBC or they'll sue. I figured anyone interested would read the whole thing (it's kind of long).

[lainie]

not this time :) but, you're right

[OrthodoxPresbyterian]

rOFLOL I've got to try that one. My favorite is a friend who says that he will listen to their spiel if they first listen to his. He is a very kind man, and few could get away with what he does without seeming arrogant: he proceeds to preach the gospel to them. :)

Believe it or not, I've had that done to me, once -- bear in mind, I've probably done at least 100,000 cold-calls in my life (when I was on the "selling" end of the Phone -- ahh, my New York stock-broker days)

The whole conversation turned into a shakespearean Comedy of Errors...

"Yes, I wholeheartedly agree that Jesus is the only Messiah... and did I mention that Steve Madden's SHOO profits were up 400% on a fiscal-year basis?!"

Gads and Egads. Ships crossing in the night?? I don't remember who hung up on who.

But I applaud your friend. I use Telemarketers as a source of Levity, he preaches the Gospel...

Carpe Diem, I guess. "Seize the Day". Kudos to your friend.

OP

[Uncle Miltie]

I set the phone next to the bird cage, and let them talk to the cockatiel. After a couple minutes, I check, and sometimes they're still talking to the bird.

[honeygrl]

Our favorite thing to do is say "Well let me give the phone to the man of the house" Which of course they say OK to, and then hand the phone to our 2 year old and let him talk away. He loves talking on the phone.

[honeygrl]

"Now, when I want to blow them off, I use one of two techniques. When they ask if I am Mr X, I'll sadly say, "No, Mr X took his own life about an hour ago." Alternately, I explain that Mr. X was taken away by Federal Marshalls about an hour ago. Both techniques get you right off the list. :) "

They also hang up really fast when you tell them your credit card is maxed out. You are useless to them at that point.

[Hank Rearden]

I remember seeing a movie in which a guy gets a call right in the middle of his dinner. The guy cuts off the telemarketer in mid-sentence and says, "Are you proud of yourself? Is this what you wanted to be when you were growing up?" then immediately hangs up. I spit my coke into my popcorn when I heard that.

Wow! What movie was that? That is exactly what I do with pompous/useless bureaucrats and other parasites all the time (but no telemarketers yet; I simply tell them to give me their home phone number and I'll call them back during their private time to render my decision). I thought I invented that one.

I loath stupid, useless people (especially government parasites) who think they have some kind of mystical power over my life. Every chance I get, I make sure they know how contemptible they are.

[honeygrl]

"Keeps them away for about 2 years or so. (Who in the heck tries collecting on a $100, 10 year old charge off???) "

Some collection agency keeps trying to collect an old credit card debt from my hubby that is from 1992. I asked them the first time they called if it would go on his credit report.. they said "No, but... blah blah blah" so I told them there wasn't much chance of getting any of the money then. It was an old credit card that his ex-wife used to furnish their home together.. fat chance of me paying THAT. The last time they called they mentioned something about lawyers and I told them to go ahead and send them after us and I never heard from them again.

[1stFreedom]

I believe that it will go on your credit record if you pay. The last transaction stays on your credit for 7 years. This is why if you have charge offs and the company won't remove from your credit if you pay off, just leave it alone. It will drop off after 7 years.

[honeygrl]

"I believe that it will go on your credit record if you pay. The last transaction stays on your credit for 7 years. This is why if you have charge offs and the company won't remove from your credit if you pay off, just leave it alone. It will drop off after 7 years. "

Glad to know that.. they definitely won't get a dime from us now. Their letters always end up in the stack of hospital bills from hospitals with staff too stupid to bill our insurance correctly. Sometimes I wonder why hospitals bother to make a copy of your insurance card if they aren't going to bother to use it.

[Hank Rearden]

Sometimes I get creative. Someone selling siding, I live in a brick home. Someone peddling phone plans, I do not have a phone (this one is really fun!)

Sometimes I use a variation of this one, too:

Dip: Hello, I'm selling long-distance services.

Me: I don't have a phone.

Dip: You're talking on the phone right now.

Me: This isn't my house; I don't even know these people. I'm just here taking stuff, and I'm kinda busy and in a hurry so I don't have time to talk right now.

Dip: < gurgle >. Eventual < click >

[tubebender]

I got a call just after I posted here earlier and I thought I was going to have some more fun with them.It tuned out it was Wards Automobile Surveys and was a legitimate call. They wanted to know if I planned to purchase a new car and when I told them probably in 4 years and if now it would be the new Chevy SS (photo on mhkings thread yesterday) Wards Automotive does surveys for manufactures on various subjects such as owner satisfaction etc.

I have picked up some new material here tonite...