Posted on 05/07/2003 4:24:58 PM PDT by Paul Atreides
A fresh round of zingers on Tuesday's Tonight Show from Dennis Miller, the actor/comedian who has honed a shtick around praising President Bush and mocking leftist anti-war protesters.
Amongst Miller's cracks on the May 6 Tonight Show with Jay Leno on NBC: "If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem."
Miller also offered praise for the performance of the U.S. military, mocking those still complaining about the war: "Hey, it couldn't have gone any better, okay. We were killing suicide bombers. You know how fast you're moving when a guy -- the only thing he wants to do in life is kill himself -- and you beat him to it?"
Those jibes in full context and some other of his funnier remarks that I took down:
-- On anti-Bush protesters and how well the war went: "What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign. "But on the home front the war protesters won't ever give it up to Bush, they just hate Bush and they're never going to give it up to him. First it was the war itself and then the war plan, then the war financing, then the UN, then the second UN, then they started whining about the looting and the museum and where are the weapons of mass destruction. Hey, it couldn't have gone any better, okay. We were killing suicide bombers. You know how fast you're moving when a guy -- the only thing he wants to do in life is kill himself -- and you beat him to it?"
-- On anti-Bush Democrats: "The Democrats continue to snipe at Bush. They'll never give it up to him. You know Teddy Kennedy and Tom Daschle pick more nits than a father and son spider monkey team who know they're being followed by a National Geographic film crew."
-- Picking up on Bill Clinton's comments during his 60 Minutes segments with Bob Dole: "If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem. You know something Bill, if you were any more low rent you'd be a Spring Break destination."
-- Including one U.S. city as a potential military target: "Once we take Damascus, simultaneously we bomb the reactor in North Korea, then you take Tehran, you take Saudi Arabia, you take Berkeley, California."
-- On whether finding weapons of mass destruction matters: "Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again."
"You know something Bill, if you were any more low rent you'd be a Spring Break destination."
Not his funniest line of the night, but this is definitely the most "trademark Miller" line. Nobody else comes up with stuff like this.
It was great!
That was in reply to a question about how he was doing "in the business" with his anti-liberal Hollywood stance. I loved it.
amen...
Amen!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.