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NEWS PARODY: WORLD TRAFFIC COURT HEARS FIRST CASE
The Iconoclast | WILLIAM GRIM

Posted on 06/09/2003 3:29:44 PM PDT by BurkesLaw

(The Hague) -- In a simple but solemn opening day ceremony, the twelve crimson-robed justices of the newly-established World Traffic Court held their first session at the Palace of Vehicular Justice in The Hague, Netherlands. Chief Justice Joseph Ndemnegango (Ghana) quickly gaveled the court to order as he and his fellow barristers from Sweden, Bulgaria, Japan, Trinidad & Tobago, Argentina, Canada, Lesotho, Malaysia, Yemen, Turkey and France heard their first case, Ferguson v. New Rome, Ohio, an appeal of a $150 fine levied against Mabel Ferguson of Paterson, New Jersey by the Mayor's Court of New Rome, Ohio. Ferguson was stopped by New Rome police on September 27, 1998 for allegedly doing 36 mph in a 35 mph zone.

In his opening statement, Bruce Cutler, Ferguson's lawyer who is best known for his spirited defense of Mafia boss John Gatti, claimed that his client was really doing only between 22 and 25 mph and that the town of New Rome operates a "speed trap" in which drivers with out-of-state license plates are routinely given bogus speeding tickets, the receipts of which constitute 98% of New Rome's annual operating budget. The trial is expected to last more than six weeks, and Mr. Cutler says that he intends to have 37 expert witnesses testify as well as introduce into evidence CIA spy satellite imagery that will "prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ms. Ferguson was and continues to be the victim of a gigantic governmental conspiracy to deprive her of her most basic human rights"...


TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: columbus; newrome; newromesucks; ohio; speedtrap
We need more international courts like this! An even more useless idea than the United Nations.
1 posted on 06/09/2003 3:29:45 PM PDT by BurkesLaw
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To: BurkesLaw
New Rome, OH is a notorious traffic trap!

I used to live west of New Rome, and I always avoid that little s*ithole of a town. Check out http://www.newromesucks.com to learn more. It is a very enlightening website exposing the abuse of municipal power in a small town.
2 posted on 06/09/2003 3:57:46 PM PDT by saluki_in_ohio (They say 'You are what you eat'. In that case, I'm fast, cheap, and easy...)
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To: BurkesLaw
You forgot to post a link: www.iconoclast.ca
3 posted on 06/09/2003 3:59:23 PM PDT by Apolitical
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To: BurkesLaw
Oh, absoltely. I mean 1 mile over the speedlimit is just an outrageous offense!!!
4 posted on 06/09/2003 4:11:09 PM PDT by CyberAnt ( America - You Are The Greatest!!)
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To: CyberAnt
Oh, absoltely. I mean 1 mile over the speedlimit is just an outrageous offense!!!

In New Rome, OH, that would be sufficient for Barney to write a ticket... :-)
5 posted on 06/09/2003 4:18:09 PM PDT by saluki_in_ohio (They say 'You are what you eat'. In that case, I'm fast, cheap, and easy...)
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