He's celibate until marriage, and dates won't tolerate it

Chicago Sun-Times ^ | June 15, 2003 | Mary Mitchell

[Mister Magoo]

OK, it's one thing to be celibate during high school. I can understand that. I can even understand being celibate until you get married, assuming you are planning to get married in your early 20s. But if you are still celibate at 33, there is something wrong.

[Archangelsk]

But if you are still celibate at 33, there is something wrong.

No, it's a choice and it's a choice that confuses you.

[Springfield45]

"If you're still celibate at 33, there's something wrong"...
Not neccessarily.Some people do it as a choice, and I respect that choice, even though I'm no longer a virgin myself.
The apostle Paul stayed celibate all his life. I wouldn't suppose he had anything "wrong" with him.

[Mister Magoo]

Yes, it does. A lot.

[It's me]

No, actually, there is not something wrong with being celibate at 33. In the first paragraph is states that he made a "dramatic lifestyle change" ten years ago.

Apparently he tried it and saw the destruction.
Why put yourself at risk for STDs and AIDS?

It seems that he has self control. That is a good thing.

[jlogajan]

it's a choice

Yeah, but then so is shoving fruit up your nose. In both cases your likelihood of finding a mate to reproduce with is reduced.

I think this guy could win a Darwin award without actually having to die young.

[VOA]

But if you are still celibate at 33, there is something wrong.

Generally, my personal feeling is this is "pushing the limit".

BUT...given the level of AIDS/HIV in the African-American community I can
understand a smart African-American male in his thirties being MUCH more cautious
just in terms of health concerns than I would folks in other ethnic groups.

(A fair number of African-American women get infected because their husbands/boyfriends
bring back HIV/AIDS from activities during their say in prison/jail, according to what I've read.)

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

It is certainly unusual. I think it borders on abuse of ones sexual organ. lol

[hellinahandcart]

Well, he decided to abstain ten years ago.

It never says he was a virgin then...but it does seem like he COULD have found a wife in ten years, if he's turning women down. Maybe he just likes dating women so he can rebuff their advances?

[Billy_bob_bob]

I've run across a couple of "celibate" guys in my life, not priests but very religious. They both were very tense people. Very tightly wound, edgy and defensive, not at all easy to be around. Wore their celibacy like a militant homosexual wears gay pride, they had to refer to it at least once every five minutes.

Not exactly a ringing endorsement of that lifestyle.

[Mister Magoo]

No, it probably means that he is either gay or asexual. If I had a son that was 33, and had been celibate for 10 years, during his sexual prime, I'd think there was something wrong with him. Most men that choose to be celibate for religious reasons end up getting married very young.

[jlogajan]

Celibacy is nature's way of saying your genes aren't fit to produce the next generation.

[SMEDLEYBUTLER]

Ten years ago, Darren Washington, 33, made a dramatic lifestyle change. He decided to abstain from sex until he got married.

Obviously, comprehending the written word confuses you as well.

[hellinahandcart]

"I dated a very intelligent woman, an attorney, who was OK with celibacy," Washington said. "But after six months, she wanted me to make a commitment. She felt if she knew we were going to marry then she could abstain. I couldn't make that promise."

So he finds a woman who's willing to wait for marriage, but HE isn't willing to commit after dating and abstaining for six months.

How long does he need before he can throw the poor girl a bone (no pun intended) and say "yes, I think we have a FUTURE, hang in there sweetie"?

This guy must think he's going to live for 200 years.

[Dr. Frank fan]

No one's commented on the most salient fact of this article, which is that many women today "won't tolerate" this.

[witnesstothefall]

Love is a battlefield. This man is trying to avoid becoming a casualty by staying out of the fight. He could be wrong, unless he's right.

We'll never know I suspect.

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

...getting married very young....

Can't blame them for that, can you? :)

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

Would women a hundred years ago tolerated this?

[Double Tap]

Wore their celibacy like a militant homosexual wears gay pride, they had to refer to it at least once every five minutes.

Hmmmm, that is probably closer to the mark than we will ever know.

[hellinahandcart]

No one's commented on the most salient fact of this article, which is that many women today "won't tolerate" this.

It's not that I personally don't tolerate it, I just frankly don't understand his behavior.

Women expect a man to show sexual interest, and traditionally it's her choice to say yes or no. At one time the "brakes" were entirely in the woman's hands.

I keep thinking about the woman he dated who was fine with celibacy until marriage, but when all she wanted was a tiny hint she wasn't wasting her time with him while her fertility slipped away like sands through the hourglass, he found he "couldn't help her".

If he doesn't at least ACT like he's dying to have sex with her one day, how is the woman to know he isn't just looking for a mommy instead of a real wife?

I respect his decision not to be promiscuous, but it sound like somewhere along the way it turned into an ego/control thing. He's seeing a woman who only wants to know if HE is the one she should be saving it for, and if they will be married sometime this century, and he can't even help her out with a clue. Not very kind. Or manly, IMO.