[Mister Magoo]

OK, it's one thing to be celibate during high school. I can understand that. I can even understand being celibate until you get married, assuming you are planning to get married in your early 20s. But if you are still celibate at 33, there is something wrong.

[Archangelsk]

But if you are still celibate at 33, there is something wrong.

No, it's a choice and it's a choice that confuses you.

[Springfield45]

"If you're still celibate at 33, there's something wrong"...
Not neccessarily.Some people do it as a choice, and I respect that choice, even though I'm no longer a virgin myself.
The apostle Paul stayed celibate all his life. I wouldn't suppose he had anything "wrong" with him.

[It's me]

No, actually, there is not something wrong with being celibate at 33. In the first paragraph is states that he made a "dramatic lifestyle change" ten years ago.

Apparently he tried it and saw the destruction.
Why put yourself at risk for STDs and AIDS?

It seems that he has self control. That is a good thing.

[VOA]

But if you are still celibate at 33, there is something wrong.

Generally, my personal feeling is this is "pushing the limit".

BUT...given the level of AIDS/HIV in the African-American community I can
understand a smart African-American male in his thirties being MUCH more cautious
just in terms of health concerns than I would folks in other ethnic groups.

(A fair number of African-American women get infected because their husbands/boyfriends
bring back HIV/AIDS from activities during their say in prison/jail, according to what I've read.)

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

It is certainly unusual. I think it borders on abuse of ones sexual organ. lol

[hellinahandcart]

Well, he decided to abstain ten years ago.

It never says he was a virgin then...but it does seem like he COULD have found a wife in ten years, if he's turning women down. Maybe he just likes dating women so he can rebuff their advances?

[hellinahandcart]

"I dated a very intelligent woman, an attorney, who was OK with celibacy," Washington said. "But after six months, she wanted me to make a commitment. She felt if she knew we were going to marry then she could abstain. I couldn't make that promise."

So he finds a woman who's willing to wait for marriage, but HE isn't willing to commit after dating and abstaining for six months.

How long does he need before he can throw the poor girl a bone (no pun intended) and say "yes, I think we have a FUTURE, hang in there sweetie"?

This guy must think he's going to live for 200 years.

[Dr. Frank fan]

No one's commented on the most salient fact of this article, which is that many women today "won't tolerate" this.

[witnesstothefall]

Love is a battlefield. This man is trying to avoid becoming a casualty by staying out of the fight. He could be wrong, unless he's right.

We'll never know I suspect.

[BlazingArizona]

I'm with the women on this one. I think it's rather snotty of Washington to make the a priori assumption that sex before marriage is "using" the other partner. What sort of attitude is that to carry into a serious relationship?

Assuming that your motivation is to find the right wife forever, making sure you are sexually compatible is as important as making sure you agree on children and handling money. Just last week, we celebrated our 25th anniversary. I credit the longevity of our marriage to our spending four years trying out every aspect of marriage before making the commitment - and to both of us trying out a lot of other partners first.

[Maigrey]

NO, it's not. It's what differentiates mammals from men. I know, 'cause my husband waited for me. (He was 35 at the time...)

[avenir]

"I dated a very intelligent woman, an attorney, who was OK with celibacy," Washington said. "But after six months, she wanted me to make a commitment. She felt if she knew we were going to marry then she could abstain. I couldn't make that promise."

Then what was he playing at? He used to manipulate women with sex, now he does it with "virtue".

[strela]

I believe I will stay the heck out of this one, and just sit back and read replies. With my track record, for me to weigh in on what constitutes a successful marriage would be a bit like expecting Lizzie Borden to write her doctoral thesis on the Fourth Commandment.

[maui_hawaii]

Celebate is better than divorce and/or child support payments for the rest of your life, regardless of age. An hour of "fun" and a lifetime of trouble. Sounds like a bad trade.

[Age of Reason]

Celebate? What a weird attitude for a man.

[CyberAnt]

No it isn't! That's where the myth comes into play. My dad was not married until he was 32. I have no idea if he was celibate or not - but he was OVER 30 before he married.

God gave us the equipment - however, the old addage, "use it or lose it" - is the biggest lie. You are male or female, and you don't have to be messing with everybody in town to prove that's who or what you are.

[Age of Reason]

Sex shouldn't be part of a dating relationship, Washington said.

Correct--but only for a girl.

[Americalover]

""I dated a very intelligent woman, an attorney, who was OK with celibacy," Washington said. "But after six months, she wanted me to make a commitment. She felt if she knew we were going to marry then she could abstain. I couldn't make that promise."

This guy is some kind of nut. He doesn't want to have sex with the women who want sex before marriage and he doesn't want the marry the women who agree to abstain. If he hasn't found someone by 33 there is certainly something else going on and it isn't to be admired.

[najida]

One thing to be celibate and activily looking for a life-mate. That is admirable, because you are
a. Seriously looking (and in the meantime developing a grip that can powder granite).
b. Fighting biology (sex being one of God's great gifts and a fun part of being human.)

In ten years, he shoulda found someone if he was serious about looking. It sounds like he really isn't that concerned about getting married, judging from the poor girl he dated for six months. My guess is he is getting off on the power trip of being the one to say no.

He may also be very asexual...like a chick I heard on AM talk radio the other night. They were discussing teen sexuality, she stated how she couldn't understand the rush to have sex, since she didn't think it was so great to begin with. Causing the male commentator to sputter and say "My condolences to your ex-husband."

[HitmanLV]

"When you give your body, you open an area to them that is really sacred. You exchange spirits with that person and that is how you end up with heartaches, pain and jealousy. There are women out here who are cheating just like men. You can't blame one [gender] more than the other. If men stood up and took the initiative and treated women with more respect and respected their bodies, women would want their bodies respected."

I gotta remember this line.... ;-)