rw, Why don't you do this: get a copy of both Joshua Harris' "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and Cloud and Townsend's "Boundaries in Dating" and weigh the two positions? I think both have a good bit of truth in them. I knew John Townsend when I worked in Christian media in Los Angeles and have the highest respect for him. He's extremely balanced and practical. On the other hand, both my daughter and my son (19 and 22 respectively) have read and followed Harris's courtship approach--with differing results. Look at both positions carefully, then prayerfully consider which--or perhaps some combination of both--might work best for you. Just a thought.
Tell your son to forget about courting and go back to the really good ol' days--arrange a marriage and get the girl's father to pay him a dowry as a down payment on divorce. Would even up the odds, wouldn't it?
Dating or courting, I don't see why another man should have to woo the family--'cuz you are doing them a favor taking a possibly explosive and irrational creature out of their house. I don't see why a man should have to woo the woman either--unless women are happy slaving away at the career wheel and hitting 40 with a womb as empty as our Savior's Tomb...
I say: arranged marriage and a dowry or no way!