New Zealand to tax cattle flatulence to combat global warming

Ananova ^

[CurlyDave]

This is not a flatulence tax. It is a head tax because it is imposed as a certain amount per head of livestock.

A flatulence tax would require fitting a flat-o-meter to each head of livestock (well, OK, the other end actually) and taxing the level of emissions.

If we did it over here, there would be several government workers assigned to each herd to read the meters. The tax would be increased in order to pay for these government workers.

[Polybius]

The government will spend the tax it collects from the flatulent animals on researching ways to make them less windy.

I discovered a way to completely illiminate lamb flatulence. Where do I apply for my check?

[coloradan]

Mmmmmmmm!

[Polybius]

I discovered a way to completely illiminate lamb flatulence..

Oooops. Haven't had my coffee yet. It eliminates it too.

[Paleo Conservative]

Since New Zealand is volcanicly active with venting geysers and fumaroles, the emissions from cows would be rather inconsequential.

But isn't the PM, Helen Clark (please don't ask me to post her picture) a cow.

[MHGinTN]

Mmmm, delicious solution!

I'm wondering why some bright New Zealander hasn't figured out a way to place balloons over cows, to catch the methane and sell it? ... eh, John?

[rintense]

Oh I know what the point is- to tax and tax and tax...

[Consort]

         Fartometer

[Young Werther]

US Patent #6,313,371 "Flatulence Deodorizer"!

Yankee Ingenuity wins out once more!

Cattle Panyliners!

[Eric in the Ozarks]

Yeah but natural sources of CO2 and SO2 don't pay taxes.

[Jesse]

"Why not simply eliminate the entire category of domesticated ruminant hooved animals?"

I once calculated how much greenhouse gas was created by cows to make the cream for a gallon of the oh-so-environmentally aware Ben and Jerry's ice cream, then added the environmental costs of the electricity to freeze it and fuel to transport it. I think it was something like 24-26 liters methane and CO2 per gallon.

Pretty environmentally insensitive ice cream, according to Ben and Jerry's own standards. Maybe we should tax the ice cream.

[Paleo Conservative]

Pretty environmentally insensitive ice cream, according to Ben and Jerry's own standards. Maybe we should tax the ice cream.

Also their ice cream is contains very high levels of satureated fat which causes cardivascular disease. This calls for an even bigger tax increase on Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

[shaggy eel]

,,, this initiative comes from the same Marxist government that has taxed the middle class in order to achieve a fiscal surplus of $NZ4 billion that will be redistributed before next year's general election - keep in mind that New Zealand has a total population of 4 million people.

Other moves afoot include legislation for lesbians to be legal fathers; legislation drafted to ensure Maori tribes take ownership of foreshores and ocean beds and the widely known disbanding or our airforce to fund the arts The arts includes the gay vote in New Zealand. The move to tax cow farts under the feel good Kyoto Protocol will assist in the aspect of agricultural economic deconstruction. In short, the country is being taken apart by Helen Clark's Labour Party.